3rd dream [agony in her body]

[monocled]

WARNINGS: possibly triggering material (rape), rough sex, incest
[Soundtrack: Sage Francis - Agony In Her Body (please click)]

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[wingedascension]

[ Horny, conflicted, and Neji, having grown weary of all this perversity, nonetheless withholds judgment for the time being. He feels the truth of his remorse, having listened to this man's (Hakkai) speech on the Hitomi, detected the good in him in spite of the ugliness of this specific dream.

Everyone makes mistakes in life: learning and growing from your mistakes is the key to the matter. Hakkai has clearly grown for the better.

Perhaps he's growing used to this Hitomi.

When Neji speaks to Hakkai, it's approximately fifteen minutes after the broadcast. ]

Who was she?

[monocled]

[ It's five minutes or so later when Hakkai returns from his impromptu bath, toweling off his hair, dressed in a fresh yukata. He sits for a long moment, considering his answer. Perhaps it wasn't clear enough in the dream, but is there any point in keeping it secret when the next invasion of privacy might lay it all out? His own imagination seemed fueled on by the twists and turns of others dreams. ]

My lover.

Also my biological sister.

[ This time, unlike the last time he made such an admission, he does not ask if he is hated. He does not care like he once did, but he doesn't make excuses, either, even when there's a good explanation. ]

[wingedascension]

[ Neji didn't want to believe it, despite suspecting the truth. The idea hits too close to home. When he closes his eyes and thinks of Hinata and -

No.

She loves Naruto (who can blame her?), and as for himself, the both are utterly taboo. ]

What are you, Hakkai-san?

[monocled]

[ His expression is a quiet one. The young man seems preoccupied with something, but who isn't, in this place? Hakkai only wishes he was more experienced with older students. He tended to teach the young, or at least the emotionally young.

What was he, though? What was this strang-eyed young man asking? Piercing green eyes meet gray. ]

A traveler strayed far from his destination, currently.

[necro_fantasia]

Ah, see? I told you guys like you were destined to have bad luck with love.

You're really sort of different when you aren't smiling, aren't you?

[monocled]

[ It's about 25 minutes until he replies, and when he does, he's gotten out of the bath, changed into new pajamas, has a towel around his neck from drying his hair. He looks... serene. ]

Am I?

[ But there's something more than a bit scary about him smiling, right now. ]

[necro_fantasia]

[She smiles back. Sure, it's a bit weird that he has that expression, but she's used to people smiling at inappropriate times.]

Very much so. I think I sort of prefer you the other way.

...Oh, is that a mean thing to say?

[monocled]

[ He smiles, and he's trying so hard not to twitch he's practically vibrating. ]

You really are youkai, through and through.

Private to Hakkai

[crazysnakelady]

[ Anko bites back tears again. She can't deal with all of this anymore. ]

Hakkai-san...

private to Anko;

[monocled]

[ He doesn't get back on the Hitomi for a good 25 minutes, after sitting in the bath for a good period of time. He's completely sincere when he replies to Anko. ]

Anko-san... I'm sorry.

private to Hakkai;

[crazysnakelady]

[ She bites at her lower lip. ]

Don't be.

[ Looks down at the broken skin on her knuckles, where she'd bitten while replying to Kakashi. ]

I-- [ waves hand apologetically ] seem to have made your efforts in vain, Hakkai-san. [ almost a rueful smile ] Sorry...

private to Anko;

[monocled]

I can mend it again, whenever you'd like. [ quietly ]

Are you alright? I hope the dream didn't upset you too much.

1/2

[ura_no_ura]

[ There is guilt and anger and lust and grief crashing all throughout Kakashi and he feels sick that he's staring at this screen in disbelief when he's this hard from all the dream sensations earlier in the dream, and horrified by the end.

(And there is love. There is love and Kakashi knows it's love even when he shouldn't, because Kakashi doesn't love, but he feels this, this love that is not his own, but someone else's. And it hurts, soaring so high only to plummet into such great loss Kakashi feels like it's being torn apart in little pieces that burn up in the sun, only to reform and burn up once more. This endless cycle burning.)

He quickly puts down the Hitomi and gets up to go wash his face. ]

Private to Hakkai

[ura_no_ura]

[ A bow of the head, finally, to Hakkai, after Kakashi's managed to reconcile what he saw and felt with reality.

That was his --

sister

-- lover, that Hakkai had lost. Kakashi won't say he's sorry because Kakashi has lost too much and apologies don't mend the wound or staunch the blood. ]

We don't know each other well. But if there is anything I can do, Hakkai-san... You know where to find me.

[ He feels awkward saying this. Kakashi is bad at condolences. But he is good at listening. And he simply feels the urge to reach out for some reason to this man when he normally would just leave it alone, wouldn't respond.

It might be the dream.

He's not sure. ]

private to Kakashi 1/2

[monocled]

Kakashi-san...

[ He is somewhat less cheerful and self-contained than he had been speaking to others - Kakashi's the first person who's ever really offered to comfort him over this, even if it's in such a way. He's touched, and for a moment there's an expression on his face that could be interpreted as vulnerable. ]

private to Kakashi; 2/2

[monocled]

Thank you. But that was another life. It does little good to dwell on it.

[ He smiles and it's... almost not a mask, that serenity. ]

[papercutrose]

[It's impolite, she knows, to invade his privacy this way. These dreams are private. Even if they are broadcast over communication lines, to anyone and everyone. She's a bit ashamed for looking. But. She wonders what he really is. Or who. What.]

We've all done things we regret, I think.

[She's trying to be tactful.]

[monocled]

[ It's awhile before he responds - longer than it's taken to reply back to other messages. ]

I've started to think it's something like...

We need to learn more than we need to regret.

[papercutrose]

[Her reply is fairly quick. She's curious about him. She supposes that it makes her less cautious than she should be.]

The Konoha-nin was right. You are a philosopher.

I thought you were a doctor or a monk. Or an assassin. You are the sort of person, I think, who doesn't want to reveal who they are.

[Thoughtfully.] I don't know many people like that. Nagato and I, Akatsuki, we all are proud of what we are.

Or, we don't think we can escape it.

[She watches the tiny reflection of the hitomi screen in his single lens.]

You're an optimist also, Hakkai-san. That puzzles me most of all.

[monocled]

[ Hakkai chuckles warmly in reply. ] You really must think highly of me, to assign those sort of titles. I'm a healer, that's true, but I'm hardly a monk. An assassin kills for reasons not his own, and such things don't interest me.

I said before I'm a traveler. I was going somewhere important, to stop something bad from happening. Really, that's all that anyone needs to know about it, considering how far from Shangri-la we are.

[ A pause. ]

No one can escape their sins, Konan-san. Least of all the ones who live unabashedly. Perhaps you'll have your pride to comfort you in the end.