1st dream [hell is a mediocre place]

[monocled]

It's a small house, a shack that's little more than a box in the woods at the edge of town. Most kindly, it could be called a utilitarian home. The paint on the walls is fading, cracked in places, and it goes without saying that it's rather cramped. Still, as the sun sinks behind the trees and the sounds of night bugs fill the air, it feels too

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[ura_no_ura]

Ah, you cook?

[monocled]

[Mildly surprised that there's a message, he smiles when he replies.]

A little bit.

[ura_no_ura]

*He's smiling as well. Also is hungry.*

Have you managed to figure out how to cook here?

[monocled]

[laughs] It's pretty simple once you get the fire going properly. Most recipes haven't changed in hundreds of years.

[necro_fantasia]

Mm, if your man makes you wait alone at the dinner table, you should just get a new one, you know~?

[monocled]

In spite of all that, I'm too attached to this one.

[necro_fantasia]

Oh, that's a shame. Well, I guess in the end nice guys are fated to have terrible relationships.

Where did you find him, anyway?

[monocled]

Actually, he found me.

[callmelegion]

Ah, yes.

I used to have meals like that, too.

[ Expressionlessly. ]

Until my whole country was devastated by war and carnage.

[monocled]

Oh my, how unpleasant.

Would you have felt more comfortable if I dreamed about maggot-riddled corpses?

[callmelegion]

Comfortable? Perhaps. I am a corpse, after all.

[monocled]

Is that so? You're the most talkative corpse I've met in awhile. [chuckles]

Is it some will that keeps you alive, or do you just like discussing dreams with strangers?

[parousian]

So...

Are you gay?

[monocled]

Personally I wouldn't describe the mood of that dream as overly cheerful.

[necro_fantasia]

[Grumbling.] That's for certain.

The sex had better be fantastic, is all I'm saying.

[monocled]

The sex...? I beg your pardon?

[Like he totally doesn't know what she's talking about. Really, he has no idea. Really. Really.]

[crazysnakelady]

[ Anko feels homesick already. Okay, and hungry. ]

I like to cook, too.

[ She says it softly, almost as if saying so to herself. ]

[parousian]

GET IN THE KITCHEN AND COOK ME DINNER, THEN!

[crazysnakelady]

[ That reflective, homesick mood? GONE. ]

You...

[ Anko shakes with anger. Shouts at the screen: ]

COOK YOUR OWN GODDAMN DINNER! JACKASS!

[ Man, she's hungry. ]

[parousian]

But you said you like to cook! And you're a woman!

[ Yeah, cuz, women are supposed to be in the kitchen, cooking the dinnerz. ]