Chapter One: A Prelude to Chapter Two
So last night I was not in great shape to type, however if I had managed to create an entry last night it would have been hilarious, possibly scrumtrulescent. My big dilemma right now revolves around deciding to watch early 90's celebrity Jeopardy or "A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes: The Annette Funicello Story." By the way whoever reads this stuff? and for whoever does, I ramble when I type.....get used to it. Big plans tonight, my roommate Justin turned 24, and its a great reason to go out drink with some friends, complain about not having significant others (chalk that one up to drinking and dialing), and thus we interact with nobody new, and so the cycle goes on and on. Speaking of that crazy sex that I like to refer to as Woman, my longtime friend and roomate Rich got engaged last weekend.....pretty cool, all the best to them in the future. This has me thinking exactly when in the 70's was it decided that the guy has to spend 3 months of salary on a ring that is in some regards, temporary. I have my mothers wedding ring (which I am supposed to use for my engagement, and that's likely to happen around the time elvis makes his comeback album), and its just your basic wedding ring, which is great because it means the same shit as a nice ring, just not as superficial, kinda symbolic of being young and not financially stable, the norm. So someone had to break the mold and ruin it for us guys.....not saying I would'nt buy an expensive ring if I were in that position because basically my bark has always been bigger than my bite, huge pushover.....damn it. I guess I don't have good experiences with rings considering the Boarding $chool I graduated from engraved my stellar class ring with the wrong initials, apparently if I was a huge fan of the Dave Mathews Band I would've been really psyched about it, but thats not the case.
Neeext paragraph.....Catie (my little sister) had a another traumatic experience after her Weds. night Bridges thing.....she was subjected to a license plate that reads - VHELSNG, which is not cool at all, but I guess dungeons and dragons must've already been taken. Anyhoo, this VHELSING person upset me because after a few cocktails, and given Caties God Given talent for being an entertainment-gossip-fashionista guru....she could've been in an accident thanks to this jackass because that plate would have thrown her into a tailspin. I think we can all agree that the guy who resembled the comic book guy on the Simpsons (you know the guy that owns the Androids Dungeon)who was driving some hideous blinding electric blue BMW and what a shocker, his license plate said - PSYBER, which still cracks me up to this very day, is the funniest one to date in my book. *Special notice to the douche at my college that I graduated from.....your license plate on your souped up wagon that says - MUGATU....that's just not cool, seriously help all of us and kindly remove it.
Anybody see tara reids left boob appear at puff diddy daddys 35th birthday bash? well its one of the worst things ive ever laid eyes on. First off its stretched to the point that the skin almost appears see through, and its pumped so full of whatever they use, that I could basically guarantee that neither one of her boobs will ever move again. And her nipple looks like her team of surgeons, whom may or may not even be certified to do such work in the states, appeared to have re-attatched her nipple in such a way that it resembles what according to my horrible math seems like the shape of a Rhombus or a Trapazoid......in any case ruined what used to be in my humble opinion a normal perky pair of boobs.
Seriously folks...I am not crazy....just bored, and rambling!
Last two things. 1- on the Celebrity Jeopardy I was watching, Oliver Stone was on, and acting like a nutbag, but in a funny way. He chooses a a food category - the question was something to the effect of "An ingredient used in Mexican cuisine commonly refered to as Queso,".....Oliver Stones answer....What is Guacamole. I don't care what kinda of bland personality you may posses, that shit was funny. 2- My advice for the weekend is to go out to an irish pub with a live accoustic guitar player, then proceed to consume your beverage of choice, and once a comfortable drunken level is reached, request the guy to play a song called "Southern Cross," its an old Crosby,Stills, and Nash song, but its been adopted by the pub goers as a psuedo Irish anthem in a sense.....you'll thank me later for taking this advice.
To the poor souls who suffered through my awful writing, enjoy the weekend....its gonna be a doosy!
I Give up on Spell CHeck too much work....
Later.
Neeext paragraph.....Catie (my little sister) had a another traumatic experience after her Weds. night Bridges thing.....she was subjected to a license plate that reads - VHELSNG, which is not cool at all, but I guess dungeons and dragons must've already been taken. Anyhoo, this VHELSING person upset me because after a few cocktails, and given Caties God Given talent for being an entertainment-gossip-fashionista guru....she could've been in an accident thanks to this jackass because that plate would have thrown her into a tailspin. I think we can all agree that the guy who resembled the comic book guy on the Simpsons (you know the guy that owns the Androids Dungeon)who was driving some hideous blinding electric blue BMW and what a shocker, his license plate said - PSYBER, which still cracks me up to this very day, is the funniest one to date in my book. *Special notice to the douche at my college that I graduated from.....your license plate on your souped up wagon that says - MUGATU....that's just not cool, seriously help all of us and kindly remove it.
Anybody see tara reids left boob appear at puff diddy daddys 35th birthday bash? well its one of the worst things ive ever laid eyes on. First off its stretched to the point that the skin almost appears see through, and its pumped so full of whatever they use, that I could basically guarantee that neither one of her boobs will ever move again. And her nipple looks like her team of surgeons, whom may or may not even be certified to do such work in the states, appeared to have re-attatched her nipple in such a way that it resembles what according to my horrible math seems like the shape of a Rhombus or a Trapazoid......in any case ruined what used to be in my humble opinion a normal perky pair of boobs.
Seriously folks...I am not crazy....just bored, and rambling!
Last two things. 1- on the Celebrity Jeopardy I was watching, Oliver Stone was on, and acting like a nutbag, but in a funny way. He chooses a a food category - the question was something to the effect of "An ingredient used in Mexican cuisine commonly refered to as Queso,".....Oliver Stones answer....What is Guacamole. I don't care what kinda of bland personality you may posses, that shit was funny. 2- My advice for the weekend is to go out to an irish pub with a live accoustic guitar player, then proceed to consume your beverage of choice, and once a comfortable drunken level is reached, request the guy to play a song called "Southern Cross," its an old Crosby,Stills, and Nash song, but its been adopted by the pub goers as a psuedo Irish anthem in a sense.....you'll thank me later for taking this advice.
To the poor souls who suffered through my awful writing, enjoy the weekend....its gonna be a doosy!
I Give up on Spell CHeck too much work....
Later.