Fanfic Chapter: The Couple
Fanfic Title: Nights
Chapter Title: The Couple
Fandom: Death Note
Rating: PG13/T
Word Count: 2,451
Summary: Mello and his band pick up a hitchhiker, whom Mello takes to a lot more than he would've expected. AU crackfic, companion to Days
Author's Note: This time I had enormous help from two betas, marcinda and sauronlulz. Thank you both! ^.^
I apologize for the lousy ending. I currently have a severe case of bad ending-itis.
Mello was right. The limo did belong to bitchy rich people- a young couple, to be exact. The man wore a hand-tailored designer suit and was busy harassing one of their two- yes, two- chauffeurs, while the woman stood a little ways away looking like a petulant model for a funerary line in her all-black outfit. The other chauffeur looked like he had never touched the engine of a car in his life but was still trying to figure out what was wrong with the smoking limo. He looked like one of those people who ended up getting themselves hurt by their own stupidity and becoming famous on the Internet through a video of said stupidity. Mello almost wanted to get out the band’s camera and tape him, but the woman seemed to be on the warpath and therefore had to be dealt with first.
Mello’s first instinct was to get out of the van and give her shit for whatever shit she was about to give them, but L preempted him and slid out of the driver’s side of the van first. He sighed a little, wistfully thinking of the fun he was going to miss.
“It’s about time!” she stated rather huffily. “We’ve been waiting out here for almost twenty minutes. You shouldn’t leave celebrities waiting like this. It’s very rude, you know. We have a show to get to!”
Who the hell did she think she was? Mello was very close to leaping out of the van despite the fact that L was already handling it. He instantly cooled down, however, when the girl shrunk away from L.
“You’re creepy.”
Good old L. He always knew how to make things unintentionally hilarious. Mello bit back a snigger as Mr. Preppy Douchebag joined the woman that was apparently his fiancée.
Turned out the two of them were figure skaters. Japanese figure skaters. They gave Naomi’s culture a bad name by their mere existence. Not that Misa or whatever looked terribly Japanese, though that was probably a combination of her bleached hair and a shitload of makeup. She didn’t have the same quiet manners as Naomi did, either. Mello supposed that no amount of nurturing had been able to dispose of the bitchiness in her nature.
Mello hardly understood what L had said at first, when he offered them a ride to Pointe City. It took him a few minutes to register that he was going to have to deal with the future Mr. and Mrs. Douchebag in their van for hours on end. He had a terrible urge to punch L in the face, though he knew it’d probably only result in a broken arm.
L felt the need to announce their new guests to the three in the van. Misa stormed off towards the chauffeur who was coming dangerously close to winning the Darwin Awards. Not only that, but he had the gall to ask Naomi to drive.
Mello glared. “We’re going to get there an hour later if she drives!”
“Yes, but now there’re guests in the car,” L pointed out. “Rich guests who wouldn’t be afraid to sue us for lots of money,” he had to add upon remembering Matt’s existence. Mello didn’t understand how anyone could possibly ignore the guy.
“Why are we even giving them a ride, then?” Mello shot back. There seemed to be no upside to helping these rich bitches.
L shrugged at him. “Being good Samaritans, you know? Like, karma and stuff.”
Mello saw clearly that L was not to be reasoned with. Whenever he pulled out something like ‘karma,’ there was no changing his mind. Instead, Mello silently claimed shotgun and glowered out the windshield.
“Umm…excuse me?”
Everyone turned to look at what had once been a bitchy diva. Now her facial expression made her look as if she had stepped out of a sickeningly sweet fairy princess movie.
“Do you have room for my luggage?” Misa asked politely.
“Sure,” L replied, hopping back out of the van. He explained the door issue, and she gave him a polite nod before turning away and calling for one of her chauffeurs.
Mr. Darwin Awards struggled over to the van a moment later, wielding a suitcase that he could have easily fit into. He dropped it down in front of the driver’s door and leaned on the side of the van to catch his breath.
“Hi, I’m…Touta Matsuda…Pleased to…meet you!” he panted, half-smiling.
“I’m L,” L introduced, “and this is Mello, Naomi, and Matt.” Mello gave him a faint wave as his name was mentioned, thinking it entirely appropriate that he was introduced first.
Matsuda attempted once again to lift the suitcase, to no avail. That stubborn fat piece of luggage looked as if it weren’t moving any time soon. Mello got to work with L folding down the front seat and going to help the guy. He seemed decent enough, and it wasn’t his fault that his bitchy boss decided she needed to carry her entire extensive wardrobe with her on a trip. As he and L passed the giant bag up to Naomi and Matt, Mello decided that this was probably only a small fraction of her wardrobe, most of which she probably never touched.
“Damn,” Mello exclaimed after they had struggled the bag into the back of the van. “What, do you keep a department store in there?”
“A girl’s gotta look her best, on and off the ice,” Misa replied plainly. Mello wanted to gag.
That wasn’t even everything the girl had with her, either. She also had a bunch of other shit, which Matsuda would have managed to carry on his own if Misa hadn’t been too impatient to let him carry the bags separately. Her fiancé’s primary suitcase was fortunately only a fraction of the size of hers. Matsuda’s was a fraction of the size of that.
The older chauffeur was left behind to deal with the limo, and even though he was to be stranded in the middle of nowhere, Mello couldn’t help but envy the guy a little. Mello realized that this guy would’ve had to deal with them all the way from wherever they had taken the limo from, though, and the jealousy disappeared.
By the time Mello realized that people were settling themselves, Matsuda had already occupied the passenger’s seat. He had already begun a conversation with Naomi. Mello decided to leave them be and slid into the seat next to L, across from the figure skaters. They looked extremely out of place in the van, and Mello could see that they were hiding how uncomfortable they felt. He smirked to himself.
Matt slid into the seat next to Mello, causing it to be rather crowded. Mello couldn’t say he minded much, though. It was hard to prevent his smirk from growing into a grin.
Maybe this ride wouldn’t be so bad after all.
~~M~~
This was actually one of the most boring and awkward car rides that Mello ever had the misfortune to endure, it turned out. Naomi and Matsuda seemed content in their talking, but they were speaking too quietly for Mello to insert himself properly. Light and Misa seemed to be having a nonverbal argument, broken by occasional glances across the table when they forced their winning figure skater smiles. Mello did not smile back, and he guessed that L didn’t either from the shudders that Misa attempted to disguise whenever she looked at him. Mello would never get tired of how sketchy she found L.
Matt was the worst of all. He could hardly be counted among the living with how absorbed he was in the video game he had produced from his bag. The guy really knew how to play, too, Mello judged from the rapid motion of his thumbs and the glimpses Mello could get of the console’s screen.
“What’re you playing?” Mello asked Matt as he peered over his shoulder. Mello probably wouldn’t recognize the name of the game, but he figured he’d ask anyway.
Matt jumped, glared at Mello, and turned back to his game. Just as Mello was preparing an insult, Matt turned his attention back to him. “Well, I was playing Ultimate Saga, but you’ve ruined my perfect score, so now I’m going to have to start over again.”
“Oh.” There really wasn’t much else for Mello to say to that. He wasn’t going to apologize, because he had never understood why people found video games to be so important in the first place. Not that he enjoyed apologizing anyway.
Matt turned himself back to the game. Fortunately, he turned the game off and stowed it in his bag. Unfortunately, he pulled something else out of his bag- a lighter and a pack of cigarettes.
Mello didn’t know which one he wanted to hurl out of the window of the van more.
This seemed the opportune moment in time to debate which was the lesser of two evils, as Misa had shockingly asked for a cigarette and was being talked of it by her disapproving fiancé. Unfortunately, Mello found himself agreeing with the controlling asshole.
Cigarettes were cancer sticks, breeding disease inside of those who smoked. Mello hated the smell of the smoke. It reminded him of bright eyes and unseeing stares, gentle caresses and frail hands, warm smiles and blue lips.
Lighters, on the other hand, were Mello’s worst fear. He would sooner lock himself in a room full of them for a week than admit it- not even L and Naomi knew of this- but every time he saw one he wanted to get as far away as possible. Lighters to him were bombs, ready to go off at any second, though it was easy enough for him to put them out of his mind if they were out of sight.
Mello was relieved when Matt tucked the pack of cigarettes and the lighter back into his bag without lighting up. It was great that he wasn’t going to smoke at the moment, but it still hurt a little to know that he smoked at all. Why it hurt was beyond Mello.
“What?” Matt asked as he noticed Mello watching him.
“Didn’t know you smoked,” Mello admitted.
“Does it matter?”
It did matter. Mello didn’t know why it mattered, but he knew that it did. He shrugged and looked away from Matt.
“So, what instrument do you play?” Misa asked. Mello was about to answer, figuring there was no way she was addressing L, when he realized she was looking directly at Matt. Matt looked just as confused as he was.
“Oh, I’m not in the band,” Matt informed her. “I was just hitchhiking, and they picked me up.”
Mello’s mood was lightened a little by the look Misa gave the three across the table from her.
“You fit in rather well here,” Light noted.
“I guess,” Matt said, shrugging. He seemed to be uncomfortable having the focus of the conversation on him. When he looked to Mello and L for help, Mello pretended he didn’t notice.
“So, you two are professional figure skaters?” L asked casually, breaking what must have been at least the fifth awkward silence since the couple had joined them.
“Yes,” Light and Misa said with identical enthusiasm. Mello didn’t know it was possible for people to say things so in sync.
What happened next made things about ten times worse than they had been before. The preppy couple prattled on and on about every little petty detail of their lives and careers, none of which interested Mello in the slightest. He dug a chocolate bar out from one of the boxes under the table and began to munch on it, doing his best to ignore them as rudely as possible. Unfortunately, they did not take the hint.
After what felt like half the day but was probably only a few hours, Mello was halfway through his third chocolate bar, and it was dark enough that L felt the need to turn on the van’s overhead light. Mello hazarded a glance over at Matt, who was staring at his open cell phone with a concerned look on his face. Having officially decided that Matt’s smoking habits were not intended as a personal affront, Mello decided it would be appropriate to offer him some chocolate.
“Want some?” Mello asked, holding the chocolate bar out towards him.
“No thanks,” Matt declined.
Mello bit off a piece of his chocolate bar as he surveyed Matt. There definitely seemed to be something on his mind, and astoundingly enough, Mello found that he actually cared.
“Is something wrong?”
“’s nothing,” Matt told him. Mello knew that was a lie, but he figured it would be better not to push it.
When Mello actually listened to what Misa and Light were saying, he found it was actually rather entertaining to hear them argue. He passed the time mentally laughing at how ridiculous they were as he polished off his final chocolate bar. He was almost a little disappointed when they were interrupted by Matsuda’s announcement that they were nearing Pointe City.
Light and Misa once again resumed their arguing with a fresh topic, their plans for the night, but unfortunately, L interrupted Mello’s eavesdropping. “So, what’re we looking for tonight?”
Mello knew that L was referring to the game they played whenever they went out to eat in a new city, where each of them would choose a restaurant and whichever of the three types they came across first was the place they ate at. Being competitive, Mello had adopted the belief that whoever had chosen that type of food also earned bragging rights.
That night, Mello found himself craving egg rolls and lo mein. “Chinese,” he declared. He heard Naomi yell something about pizza from the front and knew that it was going to be hard to win this time.
“…Fried chicken it is,” L boldly declared.
Mello looked over at Matt. “You’re coming to dinner with us.”
“Okay,” Matt replied glumly. Whatever was upsetting Matt before seemed to be bothering him once again.
“What, you don’t like Chinese?” Mello joked, hoping to at least cheer the guy up.
“No, Chinese is good…it’s nothing,” Matt told him. Mello knew he was lying, but once again he figured it was best to let it alone.
As they entered the city, Mello couldn’t help but wonder what it was that was bothering Matt. Maybe he had left some family behind in whatever hick town he came from. Mello knew what that was like. All he could do in that case would be to help keep Matt’s mind off of his problems.
Chapter One | Chapter Two
Chapter Title: The Couple
Fandom: Death Note
Rating: PG13/T
Word Count: 2,451
Summary: Mello and his band pick up a hitchhiker, whom Mello takes to a lot more than he would've expected. AU crackfic, companion to Days
Author's Note: This time I had enormous help from two betas, marcinda and sauronlulz. Thank you both! ^.^
I apologize for the lousy ending. I currently have a severe case of bad ending-itis.
Mello was right. The limo did belong to bitchy rich people- a young couple, to be exact. The man wore a hand-tailored designer suit and was busy harassing one of their two- yes, two- chauffeurs, while the woman stood a little ways away looking like a petulant model for a funerary line in her all-black outfit. The other chauffeur looked like he had never touched the engine of a car in his life but was still trying to figure out what was wrong with the smoking limo. He looked like one of those people who ended up getting themselves hurt by their own stupidity and becoming famous on the Internet through a video of said stupidity. Mello almost wanted to get out the band’s camera and tape him, but the woman seemed to be on the warpath and therefore had to be dealt with first.
Mello’s first instinct was to get out of the van and give her shit for whatever shit she was about to give them, but L preempted him and slid out of the driver’s side of the van first. He sighed a little, wistfully thinking of the fun he was going to miss.
“It’s about time!” she stated rather huffily. “We’ve been waiting out here for almost twenty minutes. You shouldn’t leave celebrities waiting like this. It’s very rude, you know. We have a show to get to!”
Who the hell did she think she was? Mello was very close to leaping out of the van despite the fact that L was already handling it. He instantly cooled down, however, when the girl shrunk away from L.
“You’re creepy.”
Good old L. He always knew how to make things unintentionally hilarious. Mello bit back a snigger as Mr. Preppy Douchebag joined the woman that was apparently his fiancée.
Turned out the two of them were figure skaters. Japanese figure skaters. They gave Naomi’s culture a bad name by their mere existence. Not that Misa or whatever looked terribly Japanese, though that was probably a combination of her bleached hair and a shitload of makeup. She didn’t have the same quiet manners as Naomi did, either. Mello supposed that no amount of nurturing had been able to dispose of the bitchiness in her nature.
Mello hardly understood what L had said at first, when he offered them a ride to Pointe City. It took him a few minutes to register that he was going to have to deal with the future Mr. and Mrs. Douchebag in their van for hours on end. He had a terrible urge to punch L in the face, though he knew it’d probably only result in a broken arm.
L felt the need to announce their new guests to the three in the van. Misa stormed off towards the chauffeur who was coming dangerously close to winning the Darwin Awards. Not only that, but he had the gall to ask Naomi to drive.
Mello glared. “We’re going to get there an hour later if she drives!”
“Yes, but now there’re guests in the car,” L pointed out. “Rich guests who wouldn’t be afraid to sue us for lots of money,” he had to add upon remembering Matt’s existence. Mello didn’t understand how anyone could possibly ignore the guy.
“Why are we even giving them a ride, then?” Mello shot back. There seemed to be no upside to helping these rich bitches.
L shrugged at him. “Being good Samaritans, you know? Like, karma and stuff.”
Mello saw clearly that L was not to be reasoned with. Whenever he pulled out something like ‘karma,’ there was no changing his mind. Instead, Mello silently claimed shotgun and glowered out the windshield.
“Umm…excuse me?”
Everyone turned to look at what had once been a bitchy diva. Now her facial expression made her look as if she had stepped out of a sickeningly sweet fairy princess movie.
“Do you have room for my luggage?” Misa asked politely.
“Sure,” L replied, hopping back out of the van. He explained the door issue, and she gave him a polite nod before turning away and calling for one of her chauffeurs.
Mr. Darwin Awards struggled over to the van a moment later, wielding a suitcase that he could have easily fit into. He dropped it down in front of the driver’s door and leaned on the side of the van to catch his breath.
“Hi, I’m…Touta Matsuda…Pleased to…meet you!” he panted, half-smiling.
“I’m L,” L introduced, “and this is Mello, Naomi, and Matt.” Mello gave him a faint wave as his name was mentioned, thinking it entirely appropriate that he was introduced first.
Matsuda attempted once again to lift the suitcase, to no avail. That stubborn fat piece of luggage looked as if it weren’t moving any time soon. Mello got to work with L folding down the front seat and going to help the guy. He seemed decent enough, and it wasn’t his fault that his bitchy boss decided she needed to carry her entire extensive wardrobe with her on a trip. As he and L passed the giant bag up to Naomi and Matt, Mello decided that this was probably only a small fraction of her wardrobe, most of which she probably never touched.
“Damn,” Mello exclaimed after they had struggled the bag into the back of the van. “What, do you keep a department store in there?”
“A girl’s gotta look her best, on and off the ice,” Misa replied plainly. Mello wanted to gag.
That wasn’t even everything the girl had with her, either. She also had a bunch of other shit, which Matsuda would have managed to carry on his own if Misa hadn’t been too impatient to let him carry the bags separately. Her fiancé’s primary suitcase was fortunately only a fraction of the size of hers. Matsuda’s was a fraction of the size of that.
The older chauffeur was left behind to deal with the limo, and even though he was to be stranded in the middle of nowhere, Mello couldn’t help but envy the guy a little. Mello realized that this guy would’ve had to deal with them all the way from wherever they had taken the limo from, though, and the jealousy disappeared.
By the time Mello realized that people were settling themselves, Matsuda had already occupied the passenger’s seat. He had already begun a conversation with Naomi. Mello decided to leave them be and slid into the seat next to L, across from the figure skaters. They looked extremely out of place in the van, and Mello could see that they were hiding how uncomfortable they felt. He smirked to himself.
Matt slid into the seat next to Mello, causing it to be rather crowded. Mello couldn’t say he minded much, though. It was hard to prevent his smirk from growing into a grin.
Maybe this ride wouldn’t be so bad after all.
~~M~~
This was actually one of the most boring and awkward car rides that Mello ever had the misfortune to endure, it turned out. Naomi and Matsuda seemed content in their talking, but they were speaking too quietly for Mello to insert himself properly. Light and Misa seemed to be having a nonverbal argument, broken by occasional glances across the table when they forced their winning figure skater smiles. Mello did not smile back, and he guessed that L didn’t either from the shudders that Misa attempted to disguise whenever she looked at him. Mello would never get tired of how sketchy she found L.
Matt was the worst of all. He could hardly be counted among the living with how absorbed he was in the video game he had produced from his bag. The guy really knew how to play, too, Mello judged from the rapid motion of his thumbs and the glimpses Mello could get of the console’s screen.
“What’re you playing?” Mello asked Matt as he peered over his shoulder. Mello probably wouldn’t recognize the name of the game, but he figured he’d ask anyway.
Matt jumped, glared at Mello, and turned back to his game. Just as Mello was preparing an insult, Matt turned his attention back to him. “Well, I was playing Ultimate Saga, but you’ve ruined my perfect score, so now I’m going to have to start over again.”
“Oh.” There really wasn’t much else for Mello to say to that. He wasn’t going to apologize, because he had never understood why people found video games to be so important in the first place. Not that he enjoyed apologizing anyway.
Matt turned himself back to the game. Fortunately, he turned the game off and stowed it in his bag. Unfortunately, he pulled something else out of his bag- a lighter and a pack of cigarettes.
Mello didn’t know which one he wanted to hurl out of the window of the van more.
This seemed the opportune moment in time to debate which was the lesser of two evils, as Misa had shockingly asked for a cigarette and was being talked of it by her disapproving fiancé. Unfortunately, Mello found himself agreeing with the controlling asshole.
Cigarettes were cancer sticks, breeding disease inside of those who smoked. Mello hated the smell of the smoke. It reminded him of bright eyes and unseeing stares, gentle caresses and frail hands, warm smiles and blue lips.
Lighters, on the other hand, were Mello’s worst fear. He would sooner lock himself in a room full of them for a week than admit it- not even L and Naomi knew of this- but every time he saw one he wanted to get as far away as possible. Lighters to him were bombs, ready to go off at any second, though it was easy enough for him to put them out of his mind if they were out of sight.
Mello was relieved when Matt tucked the pack of cigarettes and the lighter back into his bag without lighting up. It was great that he wasn’t going to smoke at the moment, but it still hurt a little to know that he smoked at all. Why it hurt was beyond Mello.
“What?” Matt asked as he noticed Mello watching him.
“Didn’t know you smoked,” Mello admitted.
“Does it matter?”
It did matter. Mello didn’t know why it mattered, but he knew that it did. He shrugged and looked away from Matt.
“So, what instrument do you play?” Misa asked. Mello was about to answer, figuring there was no way she was addressing L, when he realized she was looking directly at Matt. Matt looked just as confused as he was.
“Oh, I’m not in the band,” Matt informed her. “I was just hitchhiking, and they picked me up.”
Mello’s mood was lightened a little by the look Misa gave the three across the table from her.
“You fit in rather well here,” Light noted.
“I guess,” Matt said, shrugging. He seemed to be uncomfortable having the focus of the conversation on him. When he looked to Mello and L for help, Mello pretended he didn’t notice.
“So, you two are professional figure skaters?” L asked casually, breaking what must have been at least the fifth awkward silence since the couple had joined them.
“Yes,” Light and Misa said with identical enthusiasm. Mello didn’t know it was possible for people to say things so in sync.
What happened next made things about ten times worse than they had been before. The preppy couple prattled on and on about every little petty detail of their lives and careers, none of which interested Mello in the slightest. He dug a chocolate bar out from one of the boxes under the table and began to munch on it, doing his best to ignore them as rudely as possible. Unfortunately, they did not take the hint.
After what felt like half the day but was probably only a few hours, Mello was halfway through his third chocolate bar, and it was dark enough that L felt the need to turn on the van’s overhead light. Mello hazarded a glance over at Matt, who was staring at his open cell phone with a concerned look on his face. Having officially decided that Matt’s smoking habits were not intended as a personal affront, Mello decided it would be appropriate to offer him some chocolate.
“Want some?” Mello asked, holding the chocolate bar out towards him.
“No thanks,” Matt declined.
Mello bit off a piece of his chocolate bar as he surveyed Matt. There definitely seemed to be something on his mind, and astoundingly enough, Mello found that he actually cared.
“Is something wrong?”
“’s nothing,” Matt told him. Mello knew that was a lie, but he figured it would be better not to push it.
When Mello actually listened to what Misa and Light were saying, he found it was actually rather entertaining to hear them argue. He passed the time mentally laughing at how ridiculous they were as he polished off his final chocolate bar. He was almost a little disappointed when they were interrupted by Matsuda’s announcement that they were nearing Pointe City.
Light and Misa once again resumed their arguing with a fresh topic, their plans for the night, but unfortunately, L interrupted Mello’s eavesdropping. “So, what’re we looking for tonight?”
Mello knew that L was referring to the game they played whenever they went out to eat in a new city, where each of them would choose a restaurant and whichever of the three types they came across first was the place they ate at. Being competitive, Mello had adopted the belief that whoever had chosen that type of food also earned bragging rights.
That night, Mello found himself craving egg rolls and lo mein. “Chinese,” he declared. He heard Naomi yell something about pizza from the front and knew that it was going to be hard to win this time.
“…Fried chicken it is,” L boldly declared.
Mello looked over at Matt. “You’re coming to dinner with us.”
“Okay,” Matt replied glumly. Whatever was upsetting Matt before seemed to be bothering him once again.
“What, you don’t like Chinese?” Mello joked, hoping to at least cheer the guy up.
“No, Chinese is good…it’s nothing,” Matt told him. Mello knew he was lying, but once again he figured it was best to let it alone.
As they entered the city, Mello couldn’t help but wonder what it was that was bothering Matt. Maybe he had left some family behind in whatever hick town he came from. Mello knew what that was like. All he could do in that case would be to help keep Matt’s mind off of his problems.
Chapter One | Chapter Two