thoughts
Walking through campus the other day, I had my headphones in. "Ear buds," I suppose they call them nowadays. "Headphones" is probably an antiquated term, with the ridiculous advent of these new Mp3 things. I felt slightly like a douchebag; I tend to look down on people who feel a need to be so technologically connected that they can't turn off their fucking Mp3 players for a casual stroll down campus walk. But I had just some from the gym, where I find it completely acceptable to use an Mp3 player and was just walking to the Eagle's Nest for coffee, and thus hadn't turned off my Mp3 player and put it away yet. Using this logic, I was able to justify it in my head, so I didn't feel like a douchebag. Mostly.
Regardless, whilst walking towards the Eagle's Nest, I had Sublime playing in my ears. Although it's enjoyable music, it occurred to me that Sublime is a ridiculous soundtrack for my life. Perhaps it would've been a slightly more appropriate soundtrack before I got sober, but even then I was not submerged far enough into the drug culture for Sublime to be a constant running soundtrack whenever I wander into or out of a room.
I switched to the only other music on my Mp3 player right now, which was the Jesus Christ Superstar album. (If you don't know the musical, you should definitely check it out. It's not strictly doctrinal or conservative in any way. The character of Judas is, in fact, painted in a decidely sympathetic and complex light. Christ himself is shockingly human. Definitely worth a listen). Despite this fact, it occured to me that if there is anything less appropriate for my life's soundtrack than Sublime, it is Jesus Christ Superstar. The ridiculousness of this thought made me chuckle, and then I was mortified to discover that I was doing it out loud. I think I attract enough attention to myself on that campus, with my myriad of tattoos and piercings and my unintentionally-scowling face, without looking psychotic as well.
But the fact that I was so caught up in the music that only I could hear triggered a new thought pattern: The whole world feels different when there's music playing in only your head. I turned it up to drown out all other noise to see how far this new theory of mine could go.
People walking by me, having conversations with their friends, came and went like mimes. Their lips flapping with no audible sound coming out was extraordinarily comic. It prompted an extremely cynical social commentary in my brain about the average naive 20-something college student. They think that every word that springs from their lips is novel, important, even revolutionary. But in fact, it's just noise -- nothing more. And the best part is, I discovered, with the right mental attitude and a degree of awareness, one can shut out the noise, turning it into blissful silence.
Cynical and overdramatic and self-important, I know, but I enjoyed the theory nonetheless.
But the most interesting part about having my music up so loud was how heightened my other senses were. I was much, much more aware of the weather and the scenery of the campus. (Turns out, Mary Wash is absolutely a beautiful campus in the springtime. It's no William and Mary, but it's still damn pretty). The confouding variable here is that it was a really nice day - sunny and warm - and since it was one of the first nice days of the spring, I might have been interested in the weather without my ear buds in at all.
Cutting out the distracting noise of everyday college life, I was also much more aware of my own movements. Weird as it may sound, it kinda felt like things were in slow motion. Unfortunately, this led to an increased awareness of the dull, annoying ache in my stupid fucking knee.
Ahh, look at that. Another blog that turned into another pensive, self-indulgent bunch of bullshit. Que sera, sera. I apologize to you, gentle reader, if you muddled through this whole ridiculous thing.
Back to writing my thesis.
Regardless, whilst walking towards the Eagle's Nest, I had Sublime playing in my ears. Although it's enjoyable music, it occurred to me that Sublime is a ridiculous soundtrack for my life. Perhaps it would've been a slightly more appropriate soundtrack before I got sober, but even then I was not submerged far enough into the drug culture for Sublime to be a constant running soundtrack whenever I wander into or out of a room.
I switched to the only other music on my Mp3 player right now, which was the Jesus Christ Superstar album. (If you don't know the musical, you should definitely check it out. It's not strictly doctrinal or conservative in any way. The character of Judas is, in fact, painted in a decidely sympathetic and complex light. Christ himself is shockingly human. Definitely worth a listen). Despite this fact, it occured to me that if there is anything less appropriate for my life's soundtrack than Sublime, it is Jesus Christ Superstar. The ridiculousness of this thought made me chuckle, and then I was mortified to discover that I was doing it out loud. I think I attract enough attention to myself on that campus, with my myriad of tattoos and piercings and my unintentionally-scowling face, without looking psychotic as well.
But the fact that I was so caught up in the music that only I could hear triggered a new thought pattern: The whole world feels different when there's music playing in only your head. I turned it up to drown out all other noise to see how far this new theory of mine could go.
People walking by me, having conversations with their friends, came and went like mimes. Their lips flapping with no audible sound coming out was extraordinarily comic. It prompted an extremely cynical social commentary in my brain about the average naive 20-something college student. They think that every word that springs from their lips is novel, important, even revolutionary. But in fact, it's just noise -- nothing more. And the best part is, I discovered, with the right mental attitude and a degree of awareness, one can shut out the noise, turning it into blissful silence.
Cynical and overdramatic and self-important, I know, but I enjoyed the theory nonetheless.
But the most interesting part about having my music up so loud was how heightened my other senses were. I was much, much more aware of the weather and the scenery of the campus. (Turns out, Mary Wash is absolutely a beautiful campus in the springtime. It's no William and Mary, but it's still damn pretty). The confouding variable here is that it was a really nice day - sunny and warm - and since it was one of the first nice days of the spring, I might have been interested in the weather without my ear buds in at all.
Cutting out the distracting noise of everyday college life, I was also much more aware of my own movements. Weird as it may sound, it kinda felt like things were in slow motion. Unfortunately, this led to an increased awareness of the dull, annoying ache in my stupid fucking knee.
Ahh, look at that. Another blog that turned into another pensive, self-indulgent bunch of bullshit. Que sera, sera. I apologize to you, gentle reader, if you muddled through this whole ridiculous thing.
Back to writing my thesis.