(no subject)
lol... one of the few posts im willing to do i guess
um, i've been having horrible nightmares for weeks... and just about every weekend i cant sleep.
a few know why.
now T and i might be done, or at least going on a "break". a relief and a bunch of heartache all at the same time. i love the guy, i HONESTLY do. i cant think of my life without him. maybe it's because i've lived with him for so long... i dunno. but, through all my bitching... i do think we're perfect for each other. granted i like to party and go out a lot and he doesnt, but everything else we're basically the same. i dont have to listen to him talk about something all day that i dont care about. why? usually we care about the same things... and if we dont, he knows i dont want to hear it so he doesnt bother telling me. lol. i do the same for him. he's actually INTELLIGENT unlike half of the people (not just guys, PEOPLE are fucking stupid) i have met or dated
if you know me well enough, you know i hate stupidity.
he loves me and he cares for me. so... guess what? my reaction is to fuck that up.
i cant let myself be happy it seems. what once was a magnetic attraction, is kind of gone. i told him that last night (thanks to a few drinks... it seems to be my truth serum). i am attracted to the way he is, and i love the way he looks to be honest.... but that sexual desire is almost gone. FUCK! i know relationships shouldnt be based on sex... but that sexual desire is what keeps me going in anything. if that is gone... what is left? i mean, you still love that person, but then there is an unfulfilled need that NEEDS to be taken care of. then you start looking for other places to fill that need and it is unfair to the other person.
i need to stop getting into these kind of situations
um, i've been having horrible nightmares for weeks... and just about every weekend i cant sleep.
a few know why.
now T and i might be done, or at least going on a "break". a relief and a bunch of heartache all at the same time. i love the guy, i HONESTLY do. i cant think of my life without him. maybe it's because i've lived with him for so long... i dunno. but, through all my bitching... i do think we're perfect for each other. granted i like to party and go out a lot and he doesnt, but everything else we're basically the same. i dont have to listen to him talk about something all day that i dont care about. why? usually we care about the same things... and if we dont, he knows i dont want to hear it so he doesnt bother telling me. lol. i do the same for him. he's actually INTELLIGENT unlike half of the people (not just guys, PEOPLE are fucking stupid) i have met or dated
if you know me well enough, you know i hate stupidity.
he loves me and he cares for me. so... guess what? my reaction is to fuck that up.
i cant let myself be happy it seems. what once was a magnetic attraction, is kind of gone. i told him that last night (thanks to a few drinks... it seems to be my truth serum). i am attracted to the way he is, and i love the way he looks to be honest.... but that sexual desire is almost gone. FUCK! i know relationships shouldnt be based on sex... but that sexual desire is what keeps me going in anything. if that is gone... what is left? i mean, you still love that person, but then there is an unfulfilled need that NEEDS to be taken care of. then you start looking for other places to fill that need and it is unfair to the other person.
i need to stop getting into these kind of situations