I Am Rubber, They Are Glue...
I'm rusty at this whole journal-writing thing, especially a public journal, such as this. I hardly write in my offline journal anymore.
I'm not a very social person, at all and this feels a little bit like socializing. It's anonymous and that makes it easier, but I'm so socially-phobic in life that even this is a little daunting.
However, maybe if I can't talk to people in offline life, I can in this format. I'm not getting my hopes up and I'm not going to count on making "friends," so to speak, because I don't want this to get me down if it doesn't work that way. I just want this to be a fun little hobby. I've written pretty silly things in here. It has been fun. I don't have much time for it, but I could make more. I don't have the energy to do a lot of things and this is just one more thing. I could actually get to the point where I stress and obssess over it, making it like an obligation. That's what happens with a lot of my hobbies. Or I get too emotionally attached, trying to escape reality. I don't want to use this for that, but it could be that in just a little way. I need to stay detached.
I've detached myself from a lot of things. Let go of a lot of things. And what can end up happening, is, that I stop using this, or the times I get to, will be even more enjoyable.
I think I should be going now, but hopefully I will find things to write about in this, and my other journal here. And read other journals, as well. But, we shall see. I'm not going to allow myself to get disappointed, if that is not the case!
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More personally, I'm really trying not to let anyone in my life get to me. Not even my husband. And anyone who isn't my husband can't really hurt my feelings the way he can, because I really have no friends, anyways.
Really, I don't like people that much, in general. But, even so, I don't want to be so angry anymore. I can dislike people in a detached way and not allow hate to overcome me. Just let everything everyone says bounce right off of me, whether good or bad. Because even though I should focus on the positive, the compliments, I can't because then I get my hopes up that I can have a friend and then, they disappoint me again.
I know no one is perfect, but I'm not a typical woman. I don't like gossip or drama and every woman around me, seems to. For the most part, I stay out of everyone's business. I don't get involved or in the middle of it in any way.
I'm not perfect, myself. I just wish there were someone who disliked gossip and drama as much as me.
Besides that, women seem to be jealous of me, because of my husband and so, they put him down and I'm not putting up with that anymore!
I guess they are trying to break us up, but it's not going to work!
I would like to come back to this website today to write more and/or read other journals or maybe even do other stuff on the internet. I have to use it at a library, so I have limited time each day. I have some time left for later, but we'll see.
Ciao for now!
I'm not a very social person, at all and this feels a little bit like socializing. It's anonymous and that makes it easier, but I'm so socially-phobic in life that even this is a little daunting.
However, maybe if I can't talk to people in offline life, I can in this format. I'm not getting my hopes up and I'm not going to count on making "friends," so to speak, because I don't want this to get me down if it doesn't work that way. I just want this to be a fun little hobby. I've written pretty silly things in here. It has been fun. I don't have much time for it, but I could make more. I don't have the energy to do a lot of things and this is just one more thing. I could actually get to the point where I stress and obssess over it, making it like an obligation. That's what happens with a lot of my hobbies. Or I get too emotionally attached, trying to escape reality. I don't want to use this for that, but it could be that in just a little way. I need to stay detached.
I've detached myself from a lot of things. Let go of a lot of things. And what can end up happening, is, that I stop using this, or the times I get to, will be even more enjoyable.
I think I should be going now, but hopefully I will find things to write about in this, and my other journal here. And read other journals, as well. But, we shall see. I'm not going to allow myself to get disappointed, if that is not the case!
------------------------------------------
More personally, I'm really trying not to let anyone in my life get to me. Not even my husband. And anyone who isn't my husband can't really hurt my feelings the way he can, because I really have no friends, anyways.
Really, I don't like people that much, in general. But, even so, I don't want to be so angry anymore. I can dislike people in a detached way and not allow hate to overcome me. Just let everything everyone says bounce right off of me, whether good or bad. Because even though I should focus on the positive, the compliments, I can't because then I get my hopes up that I can have a friend and then, they disappoint me again.
I know no one is perfect, but I'm not a typical woman. I don't like gossip or drama and every woman around me, seems to. For the most part, I stay out of everyone's business. I don't get involved or in the middle of it in any way.
I'm not perfect, myself. I just wish there were someone who disliked gossip and drama as much as me.
Besides that, women seem to be jealous of me, because of my husband and so, they put him down and I'm not putting up with that anymore!
I guess they are trying to break us up, but it's not going to work!
I would like to come back to this website today to write more and/or read other journals or maybe even do other stuff on the internet. I have to use it at a library, so I have limited time each day. I have some time left for later, but we'll see.
Ciao for now!