Live Journal Idol - Week 8 - Yes, And
“Ma’am, this is one of the worst flea infestations I have ever seen! Did you say you had cats?”
“Yes, and they were feral…”
“You had feral cats in your house?”
“Yes, and to get them in here I even had to entice them with tuna. It’s my own damn fault. They were just kittens and their mama abandoned them under my back porch. When I decided to move them in, I just left the back door open with a can of fish on the kitchen floor. When they crept in I jumped out from behind the door and slammed it shut and trapped them in here.”
“You just let wild cats run around in your house?”
“Yes, and they proceeded to hide under the dryer all day long and only come out at night long enough to eat…and poop. They crapped on my desk and on my couch and well, wherever they wanted.”
“You know if you wait too long with feral cats they’ll never come near humans, right? You’ve got like a six-week window and then they are wild forever. Did you try to tame them?”
“Yes, and when I stuck my hand back behind they dryer to try and touch the cute little black balls of fur and gently habituate them to humans they clawed me all to hell! At that point, I still thought maybe with time they’d grow to love me if I just gave them time to adjust….”
“But then you noticed the fleas?”
“Yes, and weird little wormy things too. On my couch. Where they pooped. And then I was afraid my kids were going to get butt worms from the rotten creatures I’d trapped in my house!
“And the fleas were taking over too?”
“Yes, and biting us constantly. I can't stop scratching! I think they have a damn colony in the couch!”
“Have you gotten the cats out already?”
“Yes, and to do it I had to put on a huge rubber rain coat and oven mitts and the little heathens still managed to claw my neck up when they climbed me like a tree just before they dashed out the door never to be seen again! Just look at the scratch marks!”
“Wow. I’ll bet you’ll never try that again!”
“Yes, and if I ever do, my husband said he will leave me the instant he finds cat crap on his shoes."
"They crapped on his shoes?"
"Yes, and on his overcoat too."
“Well, the good news is we can get rid of fleas. The bad news is, it’s going to run you around $300 and you are going to have to throw out that couch. Should we get started?”
“Yes, and I will pay it in cash right now if you can just make the itching stop!”
(True story. I am such a sucker for strays, but I’m learning...slowly.)
“Yes, and they were feral…”
“You had feral cats in your house?”
“Yes, and to get them in here I even had to entice them with tuna. It’s my own damn fault. They were just kittens and their mama abandoned them under my back porch. When I decided to move them in, I just left the back door open with a can of fish on the kitchen floor. When they crept in I jumped out from behind the door and slammed it shut and trapped them in here.”
“You just let wild cats run around in your house?”
“Yes, and they proceeded to hide under the dryer all day long and only come out at night long enough to eat…and poop. They crapped on my desk and on my couch and well, wherever they wanted.”
“You know if you wait too long with feral cats they’ll never come near humans, right? You’ve got like a six-week window and then they are wild forever. Did you try to tame them?”
“Yes, and when I stuck my hand back behind they dryer to try and touch the cute little black balls of fur and gently habituate them to humans they clawed me all to hell! At that point, I still thought maybe with time they’d grow to love me if I just gave them time to adjust….”
“But then you noticed the fleas?”
“Yes, and weird little wormy things too. On my couch. Where they pooped. And then I was afraid my kids were going to get butt worms from the rotten creatures I’d trapped in my house!
“And the fleas were taking over too?”
“Yes, and biting us constantly. I can't stop scratching! I think they have a damn colony in the couch!”
“Have you gotten the cats out already?”
“Yes, and to do it I had to put on a huge rubber rain coat and oven mitts and the little heathens still managed to claw my neck up when they climbed me like a tree just before they dashed out the door never to be seen again! Just look at the scratch marks!”
“Wow. I’ll bet you’ll never try that again!”
“Yes, and if I ever do, my husband said he will leave me the instant he finds cat crap on his shoes."
"They crapped on his shoes?"
"Yes, and on his overcoat too."
“Well, the good news is we can get rid of fleas. The bad news is, it’s going to run you around $300 and you are going to have to throw out that couch. Should we get started?”
“Yes, and I will pay it in cash right now if you can just make the itching stop!”
(True story. I am such a sucker for strays, but I’m learning...slowly.)