A First Date (9-21-07)
Teeth brushed? Check.
Lipstick on? Check.
Outfit cute but not so cute it looks like I was trying? Check.
I had to look great because today I had a date. And I had even asked her out, so that upped the ante immensely. I glanced out the window as I grabbed my keys and cursed. Damn, I hope it doesn't rain. Then I'd totally have to change my plans. I was meeting my date at the Burger King - and why not? They have the best playground in town!
Today I had my first mommy-date. There is a difference in a playdate, where two disinterested mommies hang out because their kids like each other , and a mommy-date, where two mommies hang out, regardless of whether their kids may be interested, because they see a mother-friend in the making. Not that I had personally experienced either kind of date myself. Until this afternoon, I was a mommy-date virign!
Who knows. Maybe it is my busy schedule, the fact I am the first of any of my friends to have children, most of my friends are guys anyway, no sisters, no local cousins...my Type-A personality? Maybe it is the fact I fear other moms won't approve of my parenting style or perhaps my interests - MMO gaming and MySpace might be frowned upon! Whatever the reason, I don't have mother-friends to hang out with, but I decided it was time.
At my daughter's preschool open house, I met a wonderful lady. We had a bonding moment as we peeked through the classroom window and giggled over her son and my daughter's antics while the other parents ate powdered donuts and looked bored. She is lovely and natural, a bluejean and sandal kind of gal- high maintenance moms and I would never make it - and she has an English degree, so I knew we'd have something to talk about. Our husbands are even in the same industry, so if we ever forced them to hang out too, at least they'd have one thing to talk about!
After waving hello in the hall a few times as we picked our children up, I knew I was going to have to take the initiative or the moment would pass and we'd be stuck in the greeting stage forever. I've never really asked anyone out before, preferring to take the chasee versus chaser role, and I feared rejection like I was in middle school again!
I popped my kids in their carseats and hurried to her minivan and breathlessly asked "So, do you eat fast food?" (This is an important point to discover, because in the mom-world, there are definitely divided camps as far as salty fries and Happy Meals are concerned)
"Oh yeah," she replied "probably more than we ought to!"
SCORE!! I knew she and I were going to get along. "Well, we really ought to go to Burger King sometime," I said casually - not wanting to sound too eager. "We could go one day after school."
"I KNOW!" she said enthusiastically. "We should definitely get together after school!"
I returned to my car triumphant. I had a mommy date!
We went today after school and it was great fun. My date was really cheerful and laid-back. We all had cheeseburgers and fries - not a "healthy choice" applesauce or veggie patty in sight. We talked about a million things and she didn't even flinch when I let my 13 month old climb the castle stairs and zoom down the spiral slide and our kids - all four of them - were partying like it was 1999 on the playground. It was better than I could have expected.
Until my date got sick. Did I mention she was pregnant again? This time with her first girl - how exciting! Well, I have had dates get sick on me before - one slightly agoraphobic boyfriend became nauseous every time we tried to leave town, and I did have a guy practically puke on me after he drank a six pack and then rode a rollercoaster at Six Flags - but, never on a first date, and not a pregnant woman!
First, she said she felt a little overheated, so she went to sit down. Then she felt nauseous, pretty common when you are pregnant. But then, she said "I think I am going to faint." She put her head in her arms on the table and suddenly, I was scared. Two pregnancies of my own but I was pretty unprepared for this. Sometimes when you're pregnant you just feel bad but sometimes you are having an emergency!
"What can I do for you? Can I get you some water? Do you need to go inside where it is cooler? Should I call your husband?" She asked for some water, and when I came back outside she had laid down on the pavement in the shade. Whoa. I asked her if she had her doctor's number in her cell phone - no - or if she had his card in her purse - maybe - so I brought her the purse and said "If this goes on much longer I am calling him" Then I told her if she passed out, I was there, her kids would be fine, we would take care of her. I asked if she wanted to put her head in my lap so it wasn't on the ground or if she wanted me to take her and the kids to my house...she just wanted to lie there because she thought if she attempted to stand up she would definitely pass out. I felt pretty impotent.
After saying amiably "Maybe I shouldn't have eaten the "Really Big Fish," she felt ill for about 15 minutes, but then she said she could feel it passing, and her color returned and she sat up again. She said it happened to her during her last pregnancy fairly often and she hoped it wasn't going to be like that again. The worst time had hit her in the self check out at WalMart and she had just sat on the floor while her son cried in the buggy until it passed. She said not a soul had stopped to see if they were ok, (what a comment on our society and HOW terrible!) and she was just glad I had been with her this time. I cannot tell you how relieved I was that she was o.k. or how glad I was that I was there for her and her kids too.
I asked if she wanted to head home at this point and she was like "No, the kids are still having fun..." Phew! Crisis averted - back to the mommy-date! We stayed for another hour and the only thing that broke up the party was Sam's stinky diaper, which I prefer to change at home whenever possible.
Even if there was no smooch at the end of our date to determine how things had gone - although Sam did blow kisses to everyone and Peanut wanted hugs - my mommy-date said "We should do this often!" and she really meant it!
How terrific. I think we will make this a weekly event - and I couldn't be more pleased!
Lipstick on? Check.
Outfit cute but not so cute it looks like I was trying? Check.
I had to look great because today I had a date. And I had even asked her out, so that upped the ante immensely. I glanced out the window as I grabbed my keys and cursed. Damn, I hope it doesn't rain. Then I'd totally have to change my plans. I was meeting my date at the Burger King - and why not? They have the best playground in town!
Today I had my first mommy-date. There is a difference in a playdate, where two disinterested mommies hang out because their kids like each other , and a mommy-date, where two mommies hang out, regardless of whether their kids may be interested, because they see a mother-friend in the making. Not that I had personally experienced either kind of date myself. Until this afternoon, I was a mommy-date virign!
Who knows. Maybe it is my busy schedule, the fact I am the first of any of my friends to have children, most of my friends are guys anyway, no sisters, no local cousins...my Type-A personality? Maybe it is the fact I fear other moms won't approve of my parenting style or perhaps my interests - MMO gaming and MySpace might be frowned upon! Whatever the reason, I don't have mother-friends to hang out with, but I decided it was time.
At my daughter's preschool open house, I met a wonderful lady. We had a bonding moment as we peeked through the classroom window and giggled over her son and my daughter's antics while the other parents ate powdered donuts and looked bored. She is lovely and natural, a bluejean and sandal kind of gal- high maintenance moms and I would never make it - and she has an English degree, so I knew we'd have something to talk about. Our husbands are even in the same industry, so if we ever forced them to hang out too, at least they'd have one thing to talk about!
After waving hello in the hall a few times as we picked our children up, I knew I was going to have to take the initiative or the moment would pass and we'd be stuck in the greeting stage forever. I've never really asked anyone out before, preferring to take the chasee versus chaser role, and I feared rejection like I was in middle school again!
I popped my kids in their carseats and hurried to her minivan and breathlessly asked "So, do you eat fast food?" (This is an important point to discover, because in the mom-world, there are definitely divided camps as far as salty fries and Happy Meals are concerned)
"Oh yeah," she replied "probably more than we ought to!"
SCORE!! I knew she and I were going to get along. "Well, we really ought to go to Burger King sometime," I said casually - not wanting to sound too eager. "We could go one day after school."
"I KNOW!" she said enthusiastically. "We should definitely get together after school!"
I returned to my car triumphant. I had a mommy date!
We went today after school and it was great fun. My date was really cheerful and laid-back. We all had cheeseburgers and fries - not a "healthy choice" applesauce or veggie patty in sight. We talked about a million things and she didn't even flinch when I let my 13 month old climb the castle stairs and zoom down the spiral slide and our kids - all four of them - were partying like it was 1999 on the playground. It was better than I could have expected.
Until my date got sick. Did I mention she was pregnant again? This time with her first girl - how exciting! Well, I have had dates get sick on me before - one slightly agoraphobic boyfriend became nauseous every time we tried to leave town, and I did have a guy practically puke on me after he drank a six pack and then rode a rollercoaster at Six Flags - but, never on a first date, and not a pregnant woman!
First, she said she felt a little overheated, so she went to sit down. Then she felt nauseous, pretty common when you are pregnant. But then, she said "I think I am going to faint." She put her head in her arms on the table and suddenly, I was scared. Two pregnancies of my own but I was pretty unprepared for this. Sometimes when you're pregnant you just feel bad but sometimes you are having an emergency!
"What can I do for you? Can I get you some water? Do you need to go inside where it is cooler? Should I call your husband?" She asked for some water, and when I came back outside she had laid down on the pavement in the shade. Whoa. I asked her if she had her doctor's number in her cell phone - no - or if she had his card in her purse - maybe - so I brought her the purse and said "If this goes on much longer I am calling him" Then I told her if she passed out, I was there, her kids would be fine, we would take care of her. I asked if she wanted to put her head in my lap so it wasn't on the ground or if she wanted me to take her and the kids to my house...she just wanted to lie there because she thought if she attempted to stand up she would definitely pass out. I felt pretty impotent.
After saying amiably "Maybe I shouldn't have eaten the "Really Big Fish," she felt ill for about 15 minutes, but then she said she could feel it passing, and her color returned and she sat up again. She said it happened to her during her last pregnancy fairly often and she hoped it wasn't going to be like that again. The worst time had hit her in the self check out at WalMart and she had just sat on the floor while her son cried in the buggy until it passed. She said not a soul had stopped to see if they were ok, (what a comment on our society and HOW terrible!) and she was just glad I had been with her this time. I cannot tell you how relieved I was that she was o.k. or how glad I was that I was there for her and her kids too.
I asked if she wanted to head home at this point and she was like "No, the kids are still having fun..." Phew! Crisis averted - back to the mommy-date! We stayed for another hour and the only thing that broke up the party was Sam's stinky diaper, which I prefer to change at home whenever possible.
Even if there was no smooch at the end of our date to determine how things had gone - although Sam did blow kisses to everyone and Peanut wanted hugs - my mommy-date said "We should do this often!" and she really meant it!
How terrific. I think we will make this a weekly event - and I couldn't be more pleased!