14 months and a bankruptcy filing later...
That's an exaggeration, but weddings sure do cost a lot even when you don't pay for the most expensive piece. That's not the point of this though. I have some free time so I figured I would finally write out my abridged version of how I went from a beach in Nahant on July 4, 2007 to a beach in Mexico on August 19, 2008. By the time I'm done I don't know if it will be abridged or not...probably though since typing 412 days worth of text would be really time consuming and probably not that interesting. I typed a few paragraphs and realized this is going to be really long so it will be done in several parts. It will probably take at least a few days to get through all this. The first part will be:
The Proposal
I will actually start on July 2, 2007 since that is the day I decided that July 4, 2007 would be the proposal date. Erin likes to tell me that once I make up my mind to do something it is either done within about 15 minutes or it doesn't happen; she probably didn't realize how right that was.
In reality, I thought about it for a few days before that but couldn't come up with a way to make the whole thing work. I was working down the street from a jewelry store the week before and decided to go in and take a look at what was available and what I could reasonably afford to do. I had already come to the conclusion that I would propose sometime soon so I figured I should start looking for a ring. I just needed to work out the details. Since we met on July 4th (2001) I thought that would be an ideal day to do it, but logistically that seemed unrealistic. I looked around a little found something I liked and after talking to the sale guy for a few minutes decided to put a deposit and ask them to hold it. Based on my conversation I was under the impression that I could go back on Monday (this was Friday) with the rest of the money and walk out with a ring. That part was taken care of. The bigger obstacle was finding a way to talk to Erin's father without her being there or knowing about it.
Monday came and I was working in Boston (nowhere near the jewelry store) so I decided to just get the ring on Tuesday. That night I got a call from her father. He and his friends were playing golf before work the next morning at 5:00 a.m. and he wanted to know if I was interested. He invited me to do this several times but I usually say no since I don't want to play golf at 5:00 a.m. and then go to work. The day before the 4th of July is a holiday for me so this time I could go. Problem solved. I could talk to him on the way home and then go straight to the store to pick up the ring. This was when I decided that July 4th would be the day.
We had the conversation on the way back to his house from golfing. My guess is this conversation is always a really awkward one when both participants are sober (perhaps more awkward when one participant is sober). It really should be one of the easiest conversations ever for all parties involved. If you're the kind of guy who takes the time and shows the respect to talk to her father before asking her to marry you then there's a better than average chance that you're not the type of guy he'd say no to. Easy.
The conversation should go something like:
Guy: "Mr. _____, would it be ok with you if I asked your daughter to marry me?"
Father: "Of course, I'm so glad you asked. Congratulations."
Guy: "Thank you."
Simple.
In reality the first part inevitably gets screwed up because Guy spends so much time figuring out the best way to phrase it. The second part includes a long pause because Father needs a moment to decipher whatever Guy just said. Guy inevitably feels like he needs to say something more grand and profound than "Thank You" so he says something ridiculous that really makes no sense given the circumstances. I believe I said something along the lines of "are you sure?" Not really the type of situation where you want to give him an out after he's already answered you. Bottom line, it was done. Proposal can happen on July 4th. Next up, get the ring.
I decided to go home and pick up Murray first, I figured we could go to the park or something after I picked it up. I get to the store, hand them a check and expect a ring in return. The woman at the counters asks when I would like to pick up the ring. Well, now seems like as good a time as any. I said it nicer than that. She explains that they don't actually set the stone until payment is received. She informs me that the store is closed the next day. I spend a few moments basically explaining the last few paragraphs to her. She goes to the back and talks to the...guy who puts stones in settings; the ring will be ready by 1:00. That leaves me with a few hours to kill but eliminates my last obstacle. After playing with Murray a bit I pick up the ring and start to drive home. I talked to my mother who already knew it was coming but just not when, she was thrilled. I called my father and told him. I could actually hear excitement in his voice (if you know my father you understand why that's shocking). I could hear him getting choked up which had only happened 2 other times that I know of.
The next day or so is kind of a blur. All I really remember is that at some point I came to the realization that we hadn't made any specific plans for the 4th and I had no real ideas for what to do. I focused a lot on the big picture, but not at all on the details. Eventually I settled on doing something simple that included fire works and the beach (2 things Erin enjoys and wouldn't be likely to disagree with). I probably should've checked the weather, but whatever. We end up going to Nahant beach. They have fire works nearby that you can see from there and it's quite enough that no one will be bothered if you pull out a grill and cook some food. We get there and Erin takes a quick walk on the beach with Murray while I set up the grill. It's raining on and off at this point, it's really windy and it seems to be getting worse. They get back and she was a little nervous because Murray started barking at some crazy guy on the beach. The rain is getting a lot worse and she is starting to think we should go home. This was the ideal time for me to realize that I hadn't given any real thought to HOW I would ask her. I like to think I do better when I come up with things on the fly anyway. I think the exchange went something like this:
Erin: "I'm getting cold, I think maybe we should do this at home."
Shaun: "Yeah, it's ok. We can go home."
Short pause
Erin: "Love?"
Shaun: "Yes, Love."
Erin: "You sure?"
Shaun: "Yes I'm sure."
Erin: "How sure?"
Shaun: "This sure (while pulling the ring box out and opening)."
Long pause
Erin: "REALLY?"
Shaun: "Yes, really (chuckling a little)."
She jumped and gave me a big hug and started crying. Eventually, probably 10 minutes or so later, it occurred to her that she never actually said yes. I had gotten the message though and wasn't too concerned.
That was exactly 14 months ago today.
The Proposal
I will actually start on July 2, 2007 since that is the day I decided that July 4, 2007 would be the proposal date. Erin likes to tell me that once I make up my mind to do something it is either done within about 15 minutes or it doesn't happen; she probably didn't realize how right that was.
In reality, I thought about it for a few days before that but couldn't come up with a way to make the whole thing work. I was working down the street from a jewelry store the week before and decided to go in and take a look at what was available and what I could reasonably afford to do. I had already come to the conclusion that I would propose sometime soon so I figured I should start looking for a ring. I just needed to work out the details. Since we met on July 4th (2001) I thought that would be an ideal day to do it, but logistically that seemed unrealistic. I looked around a little found something I liked and after talking to the sale guy for a few minutes decided to put a deposit and ask them to hold it. Based on my conversation I was under the impression that I could go back on Monday (this was Friday) with the rest of the money and walk out with a ring. That part was taken care of. The bigger obstacle was finding a way to talk to Erin's father without her being there or knowing about it.
Monday came and I was working in Boston (nowhere near the jewelry store) so I decided to just get the ring on Tuesday. That night I got a call from her father. He and his friends were playing golf before work the next morning at 5:00 a.m. and he wanted to know if I was interested. He invited me to do this several times but I usually say no since I don't want to play golf at 5:00 a.m. and then go to work. The day before the 4th of July is a holiday for me so this time I could go. Problem solved. I could talk to him on the way home and then go straight to the store to pick up the ring. This was when I decided that July 4th would be the day.
We had the conversation on the way back to his house from golfing. My guess is this conversation is always a really awkward one when both participants are sober (perhaps more awkward when one participant is sober). It really should be one of the easiest conversations ever for all parties involved. If you're the kind of guy who takes the time and shows the respect to talk to her father before asking her to marry you then there's a better than average chance that you're not the type of guy he'd say no to. Easy.
The conversation should go something like:
Guy: "Mr. _____, would it be ok with you if I asked your daughter to marry me?"
Father: "Of course, I'm so glad you asked. Congratulations."
Guy: "Thank you."
Simple.
In reality the first part inevitably gets screwed up because Guy spends so much time figuring out the best way to phrase it. The second part includes a long pause because Father needs a moment to decipher whatever Guy just said. Guy inevitably feels like he needs to say something more grand and profound than "Thank You" so he says something ridiculous that really makes no sense given the circumstances. I believe I said something along the lines of "are you sure?" Not really the type of situation where you want to give him an out after he's already answered you. Bottom line, it was done. Proposal can happen on July 4th. Next up, get the ring.
I decided to go home and pick up Murray first, I figured we could go to the park or something after I picked it up. I get to the store, hand them a check and expect a ring in return. The woman at the counters asks when I would like to pick up the ring. Well, now seems like as good a time as any. I said it nicer than that. She explains that they don't actually set the stone until payment is received. She informs me that the store is closed the next day. I spend a few moments basically explaining the last few paragraphs to her. She goes to the back and talks to the...guy who puts stones in settings; the ring will be ready by 1:00. That leaves me with a few hours to kill but eliminates my last obstacle. After playing with Murray a bit I pick up the ring and start to drive home. I talked to my mother who already knew it was coming but just not when, she was thrilled. I called my father and told him. I could actually hear excitement in his voice (if you know my father you understand why that's shocking). I could hear him getting choked up which had only happened 2 other times that I know of.
The next day or so is kind of a blur. All I really remember is that at some point I came to the realization that we hadn't made any specific plans for the 4th and I had no real ideas for what to do. I focused a lot on the big picture, but not at all on the details. Eventually I settled on doing something simple that included fire works and the beach (2 things Erin enjoys and wouldn't be likely to disagree with). I probably should've checked the weather, but whatever. We end up going to Nahant beach. They have fire works nearby that you can see from there and it's quite enough that no one will be bothered if you pull out a grill and cook some food. We get there and Erin takes a quick walk on the beach with Murray while I set up the grill. It's raining on and off at this point, it's really windy and it seems to be getting worse. They get back and she was a little nervous because Murray started barking at some crazy guy on the beach. The rain is getting a lot worse and she is starting to think we should go home. This was the ideal time for me to realize that I hadn't given any real thought to HOW I would ask her. I like to think I do better when I come up with things on the fly anyway. I think the exchange went something like this:
Erin: "I'm getting cold, I think maybe we should do this at home."
Shaun: "Yeah, it's ok. We can go home."
Short pause
Erin: "Love?"
Shaun: "Yes, Love."
Erin: "You sure?"
Shaun: "Yes I'm sure."
Erin: "How sure?"
Shaun: "This sure (while pulling the ring box out and opening)."
Long pause
Erin: "REALLY?"
Shaun: "Yes, really (chuckling a little)."
She jumped and gave me a big hug and started crying. Eventually, probably 10 minutes or so later, it occurred to her that she never actually said yes. I had gotten the message though and wasn't too concerned.
That was exactly 14 months ago today.