22 weeks pregnant and the holiday's
Happy Holiday's everyone!
As the new year approaches, I am finding myself 22 weeks pregnant.
Though I am on vacation and have not been working in a little over a week, I am still finding myself facing several aches and pains.
The pain in my groin seems to be getting worse. :-/ The excersizes the Physical Therapist wants me to do only make my back hurt, which I of course am not pleased with, esspecially since I am already getting lower back pain.
How am I in so much pain when I've only gained near 10 pounds??
I have also been getting horribly painful gas bubbles! Blech!! I am exhausted all of the time, and get esspecially tired after I eat.
I feel like I can't hang like I used to :(
I am also finding myself facing a case of 'mommy brain.' I constantly am forgetting things, and I've actually started misplacing a few objects, which I pride myself of never doing!
Because of the mommy brain I also keep forgetting to take my meds. :-/ This results in me becoming more emotional, and in the last few weeks I've been experiencing panic attacks again. This is most unsettling, esspecially as I am not allowed to take my Ativan to relieve them.
I have also been getting very colorful, busy, and bizzarre dreams.
I've been dreaming alot about being back in school and either failing tests or something happening to prevent me from taking the exam, and thus I fail. So, I looked this up on a dream interpreter.
The parts that stood out to me were,
"These dreams usually have to do with your self-esteem and confidence or your lack of. You are worried that you are not making the grade and measuring up to other people's expectations of you. You may also experience the fear of not being accepted, not being prepared, or not being good enough.
...These dreams also suggest that you may feel unprepared for a challenge.
...Most of the time, though, people who have such dreams are unlikely to fail a test in real life. This dream goes back to their fear and own anxiety that they may not meet other's standards of them. They are afraid to let others down."
I have a feeling this has a huge deal to do with preparing for the baby. I'm terrified that we are not going to be ready. In fact, i'm already starting to go a little stir crazy and wanting to start getting ready. However, Jay and Sarah are in no way ready for me to start doing that and do not want me to bring baby things into the house yet. ...I guess we -do- have 4 more months, but, but, but.... *sigh*
I've also been having a lot of dreams that involve me running into that friend who 'dumped' me this year. In fact, I dream of her every few nights. In every dream we get into a fight. In last night's dream she went so far as to drive a bull-dozer through my house. *sigh*
In more positive news, my belly is starting to grow a bit, and I've noticed that my face and lips are plumper. I think it's cute. :P
I've also gone from having 'waves' and 'flutteries' in my belly, to 'thumps' in my lower belly!!! Is that her starting to kick???!!!!
I can't wait untill others can feel her move too! It's so exciting!!
The holiday's have been good.
Christmas Eve Jay and I went down to my parents house where we celebrated with my parents, Shauna and Eric, and Colleen and Dylan and Dave. This was Dylan's first Christmas! :D I think he was a bit overwhelmed, but enjoyed playing with wrapping paper and getting lots of attention.
That night we met Sarah back in Amherst and checked out Messiah Lutheran Church for their Christmas Eve service. We went here becuase we know the pastor from Calumet days.
When we got home, it was midnight, and finally Christmas!! So, us three decieded to open our gifts! :D
Sarah filled mismatched smarwool socks for us with household coupons and chocoloate and hung them on the wall as our stockings!! She also got us a few movies, and some board games! :D We got her a wireless router (which we opened a few weeks ago, and it didn't work, so we're using one a friend of Jay's loaned him. lol) and we also got her the Mario Kart Wii Wheels, which are lots of fun!
Christmas Day I slept in late, and that afternoon Jay and I went to Milford to meet our family at Shauna and Eric's.
I was very happy that this year all of my presents were functional. :) I got 2 sweaters, an awesome diaper bag, some really cute baby clothes, some baby toys, diapers, a baby's first year calander, a book of 100 top baby purees, a pair of earings, manicure lotions, a pair of really nice EMS winter gloves, and some harry potter movies!
Thursday was Viking's 23rd birthday, meaning our annual best friend get-together. I spent the whole day running around making gifts, while Kramer and Foster decorated the dining room in true 12-year old birthday party style, for our homeade pizza party! There were balloons, streamers, homeade pizza, a funfetti birthday cake! :P
We had a lot of fun. For her birthday we 3 bought her Animal Crossing for the DS, which she was so excited about! I also made her a frame with a bunch of pictures from a walk in the woods we had! Kramer bought me an awesome "nature rocks" magnet with a moose and a bear rocking out in the woods hehehe I love it! And I made him a really nice frame with pictures of all 5 of us (viking, Kerry, Kramer, Me, Foster) in it! I really wish I got a picture of his face when he opened it and of what the frame looked like!
I'm so glad my gifts were loved and meant things to people this year. :) It meant alot to me. I really like to try to do at least 1 sentimental present for each of my closest friends a year, whether it be their birthday or Christmas. :)
I did have a weird moment during the party. After we ate I got -extremely- tired and had to lie down. It was also at this time that the baby girl started going nuts in my belly! Jay walked in to see if I was okay. I started getting really excited and telling him about what I was feeling! Then, I stopped myself, paused, looked at him, and told him how weird it must be that we're having a party, i'm in bed and all excited about feeling a baby in my belly, and he has a Jell-O shot in his hand, and everyone else was in the living room taking them and having mixed drinks.
Though I was with close friends, I felt out of place.
I just can't hang like I used to...
My whole world is changing. Everything is going to be even more different in just 4 months. It's still just SO hard to believe that this is real and we are going to parents. HOLY SHIT!!!
Are we ready for this??????????
No.
Will we be???
Ever???
I'm very scared. I think it's getting in the way of my excitement.
I also get upset because I really don't have the type of friends right now who are interested in looking at/hearing about baby things. :( I go into stores and i'm told that I better not be going over to the baby section, there 'isn't time' and no one else wants to go over. :(
No one really talks about me being pregnant either, unless it's something to say about how I can't drink or go to bars anymore, or how I can't stay up late, or how i'm starting to waddle a little bit because of my groin pain. *sigh*
I feel kind of alone right now.
I need to keep reminding myself that it's all about me and the baby right now, and I just need to keep focusing on that, and accept that my life changing in a HUGE way.
I am going to be a parent.
I am going to be responsible, 24/7 for another life.
This little girl is relying on me.
This is a lot of pressure.
*breath Erin, breath*
My parents tree on Christmas Eve, (myself and Jay actually suprised them with it that week as an early gift!)
The rocking horse I bought Dylan!
Colleen and the "Dylan's First Year" album that I made her!
My mom is excited about the digital photo frame Jay and I bought them!
Dylan on his first Christmas Eve!
The stockings Foster made me and Jay!!
Jay and I and our stockings from Foster!!
Shauna and Eric's tree on Christmas
The lights on our tree!
Our tree!
Our tree and the pink stocking Colleen bought her future neice! :D
Gifts to us that were bought for the baby!
My other gifts
Awesome magnet from Kramer!
As the new year approaches, I am finding myself 22 weeks pregnant.
Though I am on vacation and have not been working in a little over a week, I am still finding myself facing several aches and pains.
The pain in my groin seems to be getting worse. :-/ The excersizes the Physical Therapist wants me to do only make my back hurt, which I of course am not pleased with, esspecially since I am already getting lower back pain.
How am I in so much pain when I've only gained near 10 pounds??
I have also been getting horribly painful gas bubbles! Blech!! I am exhausted all of the time, and get esspecially tired after I eat.
I feel like I can't hang like I used to :(
I am also finding myself facing a case of 'mommy brain.' I constantly am forgetting things, and I've actually started misplacing a few objects, which I pride myself of never doing!
Because of the mommy brain I also keep forgetting to take my meds. :-/ This results in me becoming more emotional, and in the last few weeks I've been experiencing panic attacks again. This is most unsettling, esspecially as I am not allowed to take my Ativan to relieve them.
I have also been getting very colorful, busy, and bizzarre dreams.
I've been dreaming alot about being back in school and either failing tests or something happening to prevent me from taking the exam, and thus I fail. So, I looked this up on a dream interpreter.
The parts that stood out to me were,
"These dreams usually have to do with your self-esteem and confidence or your lack of. You are worried that you are not making the grade and measuring up to other people's expectations of you. You may also experience the fear of not being accepted, not being prepared, or not being good enough.
...These dreams also suggest that you may feel unprepared for a challenge.
...Most of the time, though, people who have such dreams are unlikely to fail a test in real life. This dream goes back to their fear and own anxiety that they may not meet other's standards of them. They are afraid to let others down."
I have a feeling this has a huge deal to do with preparing for the baby. I'm terrified that we are not going to be ready. In fact, i'm already starting to go a little stir crazy and wanting to start getting ready. However, Jay and Sarah are in no way ready for me to start doing that and do not want me to bring baby things into the house yet. ...I guess we -do- have 4 more months, but, but, but.... *sigh*
I've also been having a lot of dreams that involve me running into that friend who 'dumped' me this year. In fact, I dream of her every few nights. In every dream we get into a fight. In last night's dream she went so far as to drive a bull-dozer through my house. *sigh*
In more positive news, my belly is starting to grow a bit, and I've noticed that my face and lips are plumper. I think it's cute. :P
I've also gone from having 'waves' and 'flutteries' in my belly, to 'thumps' in my lower belly!!! Is that her starting to kick???!!!!
I can't wait untill others can feel her move too! It's so exciting!!
The holiday's have been good.
Christmas Eve Jay and I went down to my parents house where we celebrated with my parents, Shauna and Eric, and Colleen and Dylan and Dave. This was Dylan's first Christmas! :D I think he was a bit overwhelmed, but enjoyed playing with wrapping paper and getting lots of attention.
That night we met Sarah back in Amherst and checked out Messiah Lutheran Church for their Christmas Eve service. We went here becuase we know the pastor from Calumet days.
When we got home, it was midnight, and finally Christmas!! So, us three decieded to open our gifts! :D
Sarah filled mismatched smarwool socks for us with household coupons and chocoloate and hung them on the wall as our stockings!! She also got us a few movies, and some board games! :D We got her a wireless router (which we opened a few weeks ago, and it didn't work, so we're using one a friend of Jay's loaned him. lol) and we also got her the Mario Kart Wii Wheels, which are lots of fun!
Christmas Day I slept in late, and that afternoon Jay and I went to Milford to meet our family at Shauna and Eric's.
I was very happy that this year all of my presents were functional. :) I got 2 sweaters, an awesome diaper bag, some really cute baby clothes, some baby toys, diapers, a baby's first year calander, a book of 100 top baby purees, a pair of earings, manicure lotions, a pair of really nice EMS winter gloves, and some harry potter movies!
Thursday was Viking's 23rd birthday, meaning our annual best friend get-together. I spent the whole day running around making gifts, while Kramer and Foster decorated the dining room in true 12-year old birthday party style, for our homeade pizza party! There were balloons, streamers, homeade pizza, a funfetti birthday cake! :P
We had a lot of fun. For her birthday we 3 bought her Animal Crossing for the DS, which she was so excited about! I also made her a frame with a bunch of pictures from a walk in the woods we had! Kramer bought me an awesome "nature rocks" magnet with a moose and a bear rocking out in the woods hehehe I love it! And I made him a really nice frame with pictures of all 5 of us (viking, Kerry, Kramer, Me, Foster) in it! I really wish I got a picture of his face when he opened it and of what the frame looked like!
I'm so glad my gifts were loved and meant things to people this year. :) It meant alot to me. I really like to try to do at least 1 sentimental present for each of my closest friends a year, whether it be their birthday or Christmas. :)
I did have a weird moment during the party. After we ate I got -extremely- tired and had to lie down. It was also at this time that the baby girl started going nuts in my belly! Jay walked in to see if I was okay. I started getting really excited and telling him about what I was feeling! Then, I stopped myself, paused, looked at him, and told him how weird it must be that we're having a party, i'm in bed and all excited about feeling a baby in my belly, and he has a Jell-O shot in his hand, and everyone else was in the living room taking them and having mixed drinks.
Though I was with close friends, I felt out of place.
I just can't hang like I used to...
My whole world is changing. Everything is going to be even more different in just 4 months. It's still just SO hard to believe that this is real and we are going to parents. HOLY SHIT!!!
Are we ready for this??????????
No.
Will we be???
Ever???
I'm very scared. I think it's getting in the way of my excitement.
I also get upset because I really don't have the type of friends right now who are interested in looking at/hearing about baby things. :( I go into stores and i'm told that I better not be going over to the baby section, there 'isn't time' and no one else wants to go over. :(
No one really talks about me being pregnant either, unless it's something to say about how I can't drink or go to bars anymore, or how I can't stay up late, or how i'm starting to waddle a little bit because of my groin pain. *sigh*
I feel kind of alone right now.
I need to keep reminding myself that it's all about me and the baby right now, and I just need to keep focusing on that, and accept that my life changing in a HUGE way.
I am going to be a parent.
I am going to be responsible, 24/7 for another life.
This little girl is relying on me.
This is a lot of pressure.
*breath Erin, breath*
My parents tree on Christmas Eve, (myself and Jay actually suprised them with it that week as an early gift!)
The rocking horse I bought Dylan!
Colleen and the "Dylan's First Year" album that I made her!
My mom is excited about the digital photo frame Jay and I bought them!
Dylan on his first Christmas Eve!
The stockings Foster made me and Jay!!
Jay and I and our stockings from Foster!!
Shauna and Eric's tree on Christmas
The lights on our tree!
Our tree!
Our tree and the pink stocking Colleen bought her future neice! :D
Gifts to us that were bought for the baby!
My other gifts
Awesome magnet from Kramer!