My Safe Space Update
First off I am going to only speak about what I know and do my best to not make conjectures or assumptions.
And this report is only about my relatively recent encounter with the person accused of the sexual assaults in our community.
It's been on my mind a little bit and I've had some nightmares around it so hopefully putting it out in the blogosphere will help clear it out from my subconscious for a while.
About a month and a half ago I bumped into the person outside of Golden Age Collectibles Comic Shop on Granville Street. I had gone there to get my weekly order. I went after work rather than my usual lunch time drive by. I knew in my head there was a possibility of meeting him since the other times I've ever bumped into him were after my work was done on a Wednesday. I had been wondering about him and how he was doing emotionally so I thought I would take that risk.
My intuition was telling me that it would probably happen because I was ironically wearing my Van Slam t-shirt.
When I got to the store I went to the back where all the new comics are on display and I was looking through them. I picked out the issues I wanted and started for the cash register. That's when I saw him and a chill and electrical surge of fear ran down my spine. We did not make eye contact and I don't know if he saw me. I avoided him and went to pay for my books. As I left the store and still not engaging with him, I stopped and checked in with myself and basically told myself to be an adult and talk to him. He's just another human being after all.
So, I waited outside the store for him to come out because I thought if there was going to be a scene of any kind I figured it would be better it be outside than in.
Eventually he walked by me and I called out his name. He turned to see who it was. He did not seem pleased to see me. I said "this is going to seem like a stupid question but how are you?" We proceeded to talk for the next hour and a bit. I listened mostly. I just wanted to know how he was doing and I didn't want to argue with him about his behaviour.
First off he denied doing anything. He told me he believes it is all politically motivated and that he has done nothing wrong other than "voice his opinion and inconveniently stand up for the slam's anarcho syndiclast origins." sigh.
However aside from being pissed off he seemed rather controlled and even keeled. It is my impression that he has managed to frame what has happened within a context he can accept without even going anywhere near the source of the conflict at all. It's quite disappointing as it leaves little or no room for reconcilliation at this point.
He told me that he is done with the Van Slam and just wants to be left alone. He told me he doesn't want to come back. I asked about trying to organize some sort of mediation proceess (I asked this of the victims as well) and there was no interest. He said the process would just be about getting him to confess and not about any sort of justice. So as far as I know that is not happening.
That was the last time I saw him. I have no conatct information for him. He is off the grid as it were except for a select few people. He mentioned that his mother was ill and would be getting some test results back soon after we spoke. I have no idea how that turned out.
I know a lot of people were concerned that this person was emotionally unstable and might be suicidal. After encountering him and talking with him and thinking about it, I really doubt it happening. He is too proud and stubborn and I don't think rationally he can see it serving any purpose. (this is me speculating of course and not based on facts)
I have concerns about the process. I feel it could have been handled better. But then I sometimes think a scorched earth policy is best. Sometimes the rot is so deep that things need to be torn up from the roots. And then I realize we are dealing with people and not metaphors. And that I am friends with all sides of this situation. My opininions on policy are in flux.
Anyhow, that's what I know. He said a bunch of other mean spirited things which I am not going to repeat.
If you are wondering about anything else please feel free to ask. Other than questions about what is happening now reagrding policy as I haven't heard anything lately from those directly involved and I am not on any of the committees dealing with this.
Be well.
And this report is only about my relatively recent encounter with the person accused of the sexual assaults in our community.
It's been on my mind a little bit and I've had some nightmares around it so hopefully putting it out in the blogosphere will help clear it out from my subconscious for a while.
About a month and a half ago I bumped into the person outside of Golden Age Collectibles Comic Shop on Granville Street. I had gone there to get my weekly order. I went after work rather than my usual lunch time drive by. I knew in my head there was a possibility of meeting him since the other times I've ever bumped into him were after my work was done on a Wednesday. I had been wondering about him and how he was doing emotionally so I thought I would take that risk.
My intuition was telling me that it would probably happen because I was ironically wearing my Van Slam t-shirt.
When I got to the store I went to the back where all the new comics are on display and I was looking through them. I picked out the issues I wanted and started for the cash register. That's when I saw him and a chill and electrical surge of fear ran down my spine. We did not make eye contact and I don't know if he saw me. I avoided him and went to pay for my books. As I left the store and still not engaging with him, I stopped and checked in with myself and basically told myself to be an adult and talk to him. He's just another human being after all.
So, I waited outside the store for him to come out because I thought if there was going to be a scene of any kind I figured it would be better it be outside than in.
Eventually he walked by me and I called out his name. He turned to see who it was. He did not seem pleased to see me. I said "this is going to seem like a stupid question but how are you?" We proceeded to talk for the next hour and a bit. I listened mostly. I just wanted to know how he was doing and I didn't want to argue with him about his behaviour.
First off he denied doing anything. He told me he believes it is all politically motivated and that he has done nothing wrong other than "voice his opinion and inconveniently stand up for the slam's anarcho syndiclast origins." sigh.
However aside from being pissed off he seemed rather controlled and even keeled. It is my impression that he has managed to frame what has happened within a context he can accept without even going anywhere near the source of the conflict at all. It's quite disappointing as it leaves little or no room for reconcilliation at this point.
He told me that he is done with the Van Slam and just wants to be left alone. He told me he doesn't want to come back. I asked about trying to organize some sort of mediation proceess (I asked this of the victims as well) and there was no interest. He said the process would just be about getting him to confess and not about any sort of justice. So as far as I know that is not happening.
That was the last time I saw him. I have no conatct information for him. He is off the grid as it were except for a select few people. He mentioned that his mother was ill and would be getting some test results back soon after we spoke. I have no idea how that turned out.
I know a lot of people were concerned that this person was emotionally unstable and might be suicidal. After encountering him and talking with him and thinking about it, I really doubt it happening. He is too proud and stubborn and I don't think rationally he can see it serving any purpose. (this is me speculating of course and not based on facts)
I have concerns about the process. I feel it could have been handled better. But then I sometimes think a scorched earth policy is best. Sometimes the rot is so deep that things need to be torn up from the roots. And then I realize we are dealing with people and not metaphors. And that I am friends with all sides of this situation. My opininions on policy are in flux.
Anyhow, that's what I know. He said a bunch of other mean spirited things which I am not going to repeat.
If you are wondering about anything else please feel free to ask. Other than questions about what is happening now reagrding policy as I haven't heard anything lately from those directly involved and I am not on any of the committees dealing with this.
Be well.