holiday diary (photos pending)
where do i start with this holiday lark. there was a half hour delay with the plane there, got off the plane, fuck me, i nearly roasted right there and then. 30 degrees apparently. something like that anyway. got to palma airport round 10ish in morning, went to get the car from the car agents avis. me and matty having a bit of brazilian style footy in the airport while waiting. finally find out, cus mikey (boy who was driving) is only 22, we had to pay another 100 euro's cus hes not over 25, ridiculous really, then we had to pay another 100 odd euro's for car insurance, what the fuck!!!??? didnt get told about this at travel agents, so thats split between 4 of us altogether, not the best start. so we fuck off to find car, renault, nice lil thing, left hand drive though hah, he found that a bit difficult to begin with, driving on wrong side of road too didnt help much either. so we're on our way, apparently takes 40 mins to get to cala d'or from palma airport, driving out airport, trying to read the map, fun time, last time i read a map i got lost in fuckin dartmoor! we ended up going back and forth about 3 times i think between palma motorways, we got to the hotel in cala d'or about an hour an half later. nice lil small hotel, the owners, family run hotel are mud, especially the bloke, mario heh. got a picture of him bringing us beer by pool, hopefully get that next week sometime.
so we check out rooms, dump our stuff, have a shower, i break the shower already just by touching it, luckily it got fixed but by then, we find out the showers are shite anyway. so we had to use the cold shower by the pool everyday, not bad suppose, it wakes you up. matty and mikey had cockroaches in their bathroom haha, fucking massive things too, so they ended up using our toilet and our sink for the whole 2 weeks, we check out the pool. quick swim and mess about. then out to get some food and on the piss, cant exactly remember first thing i ate, might of been that god awful pizza, thin crust, minging! didnt have that again. we take a walk all around cala d'or to check out whats out and about and stuff, all the restaurants and bars and stuff, alot of english owned places, suprising but then again not being a touristy place. we ended up going to this english bar that had happy hour on during the footy, the semi-final at the time, think it was germany and italy. ended up having like 6 pints there, buy a pint get one free, cant argue. then we found this place called the square, its basically a square, with about 3 pubs and a club and a bar in the middle and a food place. one of the pubs was yates, went in there briefly, then went in this place called funky mokey pub, small but good, we ended up going in here most nights during the holiday. i think this was on the first night anyway. memory's a bit shite like.
the second night was a good 'un, and the only time i was sick suprisingly during the whole holiday although we did sink alot of drink that night! think we were drinking by the pool all day on the second day then found this bar called friends bar where you pay 10-15 euros, get stamped and you can drink what ya want all night long! fuckin lush. there might of been a cocktail bar in there somewhere. yeah, there was actually, or was there? we went to a cocktail bar and watched the second semi-final between whoever it was, whatever day that was on, i do remember going to funky monkey and you buy 2 pints of stella and ya get a free white stella t-shirt, this ended up being worn and in that friends bar, mikey asked fer a permanent blue marker pen, and well, i remember the first person putting something on the shirt but i dont remember anything else, or anyone else putting anything on it. its got alot of stuff on it anyway, and a bit of sick on it too haha, dont even remember throwing up, think i was home by 4 anyway, i forgot the key too didnt i, checking me pockets when i got to the hotel door, fuck all, luckily, we were one of the rooms overlooking the pool round the back, so i had to climb up...pissed! god knows how i did that, and not kill meself at the same time.
wont explain everyday cus i cant remember exactly what we did, the food wasnt too bad over there, the first week mainly we ate out every night, steak, tapas, pizza's, unlimited ribs, fish and chips, from an actual english chippy, sausage egg and chips, etc, etc. beer was kinda same price that it is here back in ole engerland, bottle of coke, sprite and stuff is quite cheap. food was kinda cheap i guess but not really, it was only cheapest in hotel i guess.
ok, probably one of the best days was at aqualand, the water park we went to during the first week in L'Arsenal. the biggest water park in mallorca apparently, was a good un too. we got there about midday, went on the first slide, all 4 of us. it was this 4 slide thing, marty cant swim but he'd be alright we thought, the water's shallow when ya get to the bottom. get to the bottom, he's nearly drowning, fuck me, that was the last thing he went on all day, bit dissapointing when ya pay 25 euro's. mikey went on one more slide called banzai which was fucking immense, ya get this board ya sit on, at the top of the slide, your sitting on it and your lifted up, and shot down this slide, kinda vertical at like 50-60mph and come off the end and slide along the water about 30-40 yards, its a rush and half, mental. me and matty ended up going on the rest of the slides fer the rest of the day. think im wasting 25 euro's and sitting on me ass all day, i loves me waterparks!!! fuckin ell. only thing we didnt do in end, was the wavepool, which werent nowt really, compared to the one they have in florida in their waterpark, and the 4-5 man rubber dingy, but that was shit, it just went straight down this slide into water. went on the black holes, 2 black holes even. the kamakazi drop slides, the rubber dingy's, the snake slides which i didnt get down very fast on, pretty slow, bit dissapointing. and congo river, which is like a relaxing dingy thing ya sit in and it takes you round this river in a circle type thing, was relaxing until these two annoying scottish bastards thought they could top of us over. here's the website fer it anyway if anyones interested www.aqualand.es havent looked meself. got a decent picture of all 4 of us before we went in there, ya know those ones like they take on rollercoasters, looks good, sitting above me puter now with the rastafarian clock i bought fer only 5 euro's, bargain, only thing i bought meself to bring home all holiday! the adidas gazelle's and lacoste shirt i wanted to get i didnt av enough money fer by end of the hols but i aint complaining.
another good day was going up on the biggest mountain in saint salvador in mallorca, its fucking massive, we got a bit lost on the way haha, that was fun and on the way back too. trying to speak to old spanish women asking fer directions is amusing, and that farm we ended up in, ya know those evil angry dogs ya get tied to poles that bark their fucking lungs off if ya come anywhere near em or if there's intruders, well yeah, there was one of them, we literally shit ourselves, got out of their quick enough. we got to bottom of the mountain, and luckily there is a road that goes all the way to the top of the mountain, its windy as fuck and narrow too, we only had one nutter who thought he was some rally driver coming down where we shit ourselves our lives were about to end hah. got to top of mountain, fuckin boiling still. theres a big church up there, massive thing, got a load of pics of that, and of the views around, its beautiful up there, could see fer fuckin miles!!! i think we went down these stairs to the vicars house or something cus it was all locked up and very very quiet, so we legged it out of there quickly enough. there was this big cross too up there, got pic of us by that, massive thing. the photos that have come out so far, are pretty good, some classics, get the rest by next week hopefully so put em up as soon as i can. so that was a decent day out.
we did a day out in shopping in palma, was quite and not at one point, we got into palma city centre, eventually after a half hour drive from cala d'or, got there about midday, massive traffic jams trying to get into the car parks which were all underground, they're nutters the drives over in spain, especially the ones on scooters, complete and utter nutters! anyway, it took us half hour at least, maybe an hour in a queue to get into this underground car park. we had michael jackson blaring out of the sound system, trying to keep us going, even though we were dying and sweating our tits off in 38 degrees of heat, the hottest day we had i think. anyway, we finally got in, started walking about, saw these statues, well, we thought they were statues until they started moving, what do they call them again? havent they got names fer people who do that? we had a good walk around palma city centre, packed and heaving everywhere, busy as hell. we all pretty much bought stuff, got me brother a real madrid shirt quite cheap, something like 29.50 euro's which he was happy with, the new one too. we went down by the coastline, and got load of pics down by the cathedral down there too, they turned out really well! then i dunno how but we ended up going on a long walk, found the first musical store in whole of mallorca, had a quick look in there then headed on cus we were hungry and thirsty, we ended up walking fer about an hour and realised we were actually lost and looked like the back streets of palma, could of called them the hoods of palma, it was so bloody quiet but it was stinking hot too, we were literally dying in that heat, we eventually found this cafe place on a corner after asking about 3 different bar's along the way who didnt speak a word of english. and neither did the good looking spanish waitress who served us in this cafe, so took like half hour to order what we wanted. by then we were literally, collapsed in our seats sweating our final seconds of our lives away, it felt like that anyway. we finally got back to the car anyway in the end, after asking in this electrical shop, spanish woman in there didnt understand a word we said either, had to use the map we had on us to guide us back to the centre. got home in the end.
the marina at cala d'or was quite nice, we got a few photo's down there, loads of massive boats, yatchs, fishies. boats that could only dream of owning, some nice restaurants down there but we didnt go in any, think we were more interested in checking out the whole of the marina and the many expensive and big boaty's. we threatened to chuck marty in with the fishy's and watch him drown hehe.
there weren't many messy moments on the whole, apart from that second night from me, the night me mate nearly got battered by the bouncers outside the sound republic club, luckily just a lil bruising though. there were a few lairy moments on the way home in the early hours of the morning, jumping into tables and chairs outside restaurants, no wander me back was fucked the next day, mikey trying to get on me back fer a piggyback and me literally collapsing cus hes such a big boy, ended up with another big scar on me right arm haha, getting a nice collection of em now, me back fucking caning next day. the night i nearly took home a lampost (haha yeah i know, god knows how to) but i was smashed out of me tree and i had this mental thought, ill try and pull a lampost out of the floor and somehow it did, im halfway down the street and next thing i know i feel a tug pulling me back, theres fucking wires leading right back to where its come out haha, so i left it there, ahh well. kicking over massive plant pots and playing footy with a miniature sizes england football at 6 in the morning in the streets wankered was fun too, nearly lost it twice, but it was our mission to bring that ball back home to plymouth and we did but we lost it on a roof that night, i got it back, and then me mate twatted it one over this hotel, luckily it landed in the pool, so we had to use a sunbed to get it out, that sunbed ended up in bottom of the pool, quite deep too, probably still there now haha.
most of the other days inbetween was basically spent by the pool drinking beer and playing lilo wars which i was champ at hehe! doing random weird dives into the pool, wrestling moves of the side of the ladders into the pool, random odd games we made up with the ball, we made the most of that hotel pool anyway. we only went the beach twice, the first time was just jumping off side off some cliff into sea, i was gunna dive it, i think i was the only one with the bottle to, but i lost it, i didnt fancy ending up in some spanish hospital. we hired out one of them peddle boats fer an hour too, the ones with the slide on the back, that was quite fun, diving and jumping off top of them, marty having to do all the peddling everywhere (if ya could call it that, effortless marty he got labelled in the end).
the worst experience i had was probably when we were in sound republic one night, it was about 4 or 5 in the morning and i was smashed out of me tree, as per usual. and this italian skinny looking weirdo came upto me, put his arm round me, dodgy moment already and pointed to his podgy lil mate and it took him 3 or 4 times before i could understand a word he was saying and he said dya wanna kiss me mate over there, i quickly stepped away from him anyway and just gave him a mouthful haha, harsh, but i wont repeat what i said anyway, he didnt come near me again that night anyway, funny thing is, he asked me 3 other mates as well, what the fuck! some people eh, weirdo's!
im just trying to think of other stand out moments, there are more but cant really think of em right now. we got back on tuesday about half 2 in afternoon, flight was delayed by about half hour again but was all good. home now, back to reality, to be honest, it was as hot getting off the plane at exeter than it was when we left spain, crazy stuff! i quite liked cala d'or in general, i think 2 weeks might of been a bit long though fer the place it was, we pretty much did everything there was to do, we didnt do the caves though, and the mini golf that was there but ahh well, no big deal. it was more of a couples, family orientated place i think so a week or 10 days would of been ideal but id recommend it fer a week to anyone wanting to go definately!
here's website fer the place i went anyways if anyone wants a holiday there, i picked up this free magazine that tells you everything ya needed to know about the cala d'or scene and here's the website adress it gave, dunno whether its any good, didnt look meself. there's 2 websites actually. hopefully ill have all the photos by next week, touch wood, so get them up when i can cus they're tres good. reet, im off fer some austin powers, just got boxset fer £12.99, bargain!
www.caladorscene.com
www.calador.es