(no subject)
Yesterday wuz a good day for the most part.....i got to sleep a lil bit....i went to the pool and got some color...and i kicked ass in monopoly.....then when ed wuz leaving last night he asked me what would happen to us when he went to college and if he lived on campus...now, i had been thinking about breaking up with ed b4 he went off to school so i took this as a good opportunity to tell him that mayb we should c other ppl....so he kinda agreed and then went home....i wuzn't exactly sure if we had broken up yet but today i found out....
today i got to sleep in which wuz kinda nice...i wuz suppose to go to the rapids with mercedes and the silvers but i woke up late....sorry guys....so when i woke up gina called me and our friend brittany wuz going to spend the day with us....so me, gina, brittany, tom and ed went bowling...i called ed to ask if he wanted to come with us and he seemed fine...i even went to pick him up and since i wuz kinda unsure about us i asked him if we broke up last night or if we were waiting till he went to college and he sed whatever wuz good for me....i thought that wuz kind of a shitty answer but i sed that mayb we should break up now...so he wuz kinda quiet for the rest of the ride to the bowling alley....he seemed to b fine once we got there though....
bowling wuz fun even though ed wuz kinda acting weird towards me...it wuz good to c brittany and hang out with gina....and my old friend greg works at the bowling alley so it wuz good to c him...after we bowled we went to eat at taco bell and then i came home....later on tom came over and we had a nice lil chat then ashton came over and when gary got off work we went to go eat at the Ale House...ed wouldn't come with us though....=( i don't know y hes being like this...i mean..ya i didn't want to go out with him anymore but i still care about him and want to b his friend...now i have a fear that i might lose him and that he won't b apart of my life at all....the only way he would talk to me wuz through texting so he sed not to take it personal if he didn't talk to me for awhile and hes even bringing gary into it which i feel terrible for..i mean, if he doesn't wanna talk 2 me thats one thing...but him and gary r really good friends and i feel like crap knowing that i probably ruined that....i didn't think he would take it this badly....i mean i wuzn't gonna stay with him knowing that it wuzn't going anywhere and that i didn't really feel that strongly for him....i mean ya i liked him, but not the way that like gary and tami feel for eachother...they love eachother and me and ed don't and i don't think would have got to that point......i didn't think it wuz fair to stay with him knowing that i don't feel the same way he felt about me....i don't know what to do now...i have a really bad headache and i feel so crappy...
*toodles*
~Jaci