Looking Back at an eventful year
2005 has been positively epic.
I mean you look at it, and it started with a bang. Eric and I were driving to Maya's with Varsha when his car had to be towed for some sort of rubber problem and we listened to "Have you forgotten" a country music song about the twin towers. Okay, so technically this was 2004 but hey it's still 2005 so it's fair game, and it was new year's eve so close enough, right?
Ah, how I remember staying home that New Years being urged by Steve and Tina to come to that new years party now that I was back. Simpler times, when I could still be in the same room with Tim, lol.
January and February brought the Eagles playoff run. We went to the superbowl less than a year ago guys. It's truly hard to believe. As cheesy as it sounds I'll always hold dear that NFC Championship win, sitting up in Chuck's room, slapping high fives and reveling. I'll remember the superbowl and Chuck questioning the musical talents of Paul McCartney at half time, the many left over shrimp, the beer, Chris and Eric, Paul leaving when it looked like we weren't gonna make it, and of course it not mattering. I remember how unfair it was that once again we were cheated out of a championship by a ridiculous choke job. (Don't worry Donny I still love ya). I was so upset, and still am, but I'm still proud of the Eagles
I remember....good God, it's only been one year? One year ago I started a Modern Mosaic class with Brittany Kathy and Julia that launched some of my most solid friendships I've got going right now. One year! It feels like forever. I remember the late night mosaic cram sessions, stressing over paper writing, the lack of studying when hopped up on sugar, throwing M&Ms into the elevator, making iced tea for Brittany and all those long long phone calls. Only a year?
Then there was Lee's tough times breaking up with Melissa. There were countless movie nights spent consoling, and in between the great times bringing smiles to the faces of all during the flicks. It feels good knowing that you've impacted a friend positively during a crucial time.
Remember the party that was supposed to be Steve's where nobody Steve knew was there except for like 4 people, and Steve was bound to a chair? Yeah, sorry about that Steve. I enjoyed myself that night, though, and was sort of a nice reinforcement of my friendships with countless people.
"I'M GOING TO WAWA!"
Let's not forget about Chris and Michelle either. That all broke this year too and I'm not even sure how, to be honest. That's a matter I'm rather hands off in. But it's been fascinating nonetheless.
Then of course we have my all-consuming...what? relationship? affair? romance?...with Tina. There had been tension there for a while but...I wouldn't have guessed it would have come to the surface. I probably shouldn't have let it either. I should have stopped it and known that nothing would be that simple for a woman coming off a long relationship to start a relationship with a friend. But it snowballed...flirting during the school year...Tim going to sleep in his truck... a breakup that under normal circumstances would have been one of those fake break ups...but I was there. It just built up over the Phillies game we went to, at the trip to Steven Lynch where I went to Arcadia afterwards, the night tim slept in his truck, talking online a ridiculous amount, actually addressing the unavoidable issue outside the playground where everyone else was having their own conversations....and then it broke.
So I was there. What happened happened, and you know what? I was really happy. It made me happy, and in just the way John always reflectively says, for fleeting moments, and that you've got to take those moments and make what you can out of them. No, that's what he says in retrospect. He thought it would work in the moment. I know most of you reading this would have or did advise against it and you probably think I'm an idiot for trying. In fact I remember a night where Eric, Steve and Dan all said something about dating Tina being a bad idea beforehand. "We're all smarter than that." "She's like a sister." Yeah I didn't listen to any of that, and it surely wasnt addressed at me anyways and was all off the cuff. Maybe they were right, though, I dont know. I just prefer to think not. Was I selfish and without forethought? Overly optimistic? Yes. It's one of the few situations where my optimism comes to bite me in the ass, and that's a lesson I've learned this year: even optimism can be bad sometimes. It kept me going through the monotony of work a lot of the time, though, and gave me a glimpse at what I might actually want out of a relationship...even if it didn't work out.
Tina went to North Carolina with Kate and got all dodgy after that. Shit hit the fan and I got the hint. I still hold a bit of a grudge against North Carolina...yes the state. It seems to have come up a few times this year, none of them in contexts that are particularly good to me. For example, Brit and JP both had to go to a conference instead of the ACM competition. JP's absence made another person fail to appear, and the entire structure of our teams fell apart. Where was the conference held? Oh why in the grand old state of North Carolina. I'm convinced the entire damn state is evil. But I digress. After a little bit, Tina fell off the face of the Earth and I was able to just push it all out of my mind. (Except for my 21st birthday where I saw her and Tim together at Dorney Park...that is the most hilarious thing to have ever happen to me.) Tina, of course came back, and it's since been harder to push it all out of my mind but I do my damndest on a daily basis. I suppose a year in review isn't the best way to do that, though, but it feels good.
Tina is with Tim now, just as when the year started. All is well with them and that needs to be the end of that story in my mind.
Have I talked long enough about this?
There was of course other stuff going on over the summer. I got my first internship! And my second! I played my first D&D campaign. Plenty of people had their own problems to work out. Phillies games were attended. Boy were those guys disappointing. I remember shouting my head off at the game that effectively ended the season where Wagner gave up a homer and Bell botched a ground ball. I lost my voice telling them they all sucked. The Eagles also sucked, and they are the 2005 Eagles for all but one game on New Years. Somehow I got into the semester, but this hasnt exactly been completely chronological, now has it?
This semester was good. I turned 21 in August and did lots and lots of drinking at bars. Too much at most points I must say, but overall enough to enjoy my senior year. It's too difficult to encapsulate what's gone on this semester. It's really just been a blur of fairly insignificant social events, classes, and bars. Maybe with perspective I'll be able to say something about it, but for now it's just sort of there, hovering as an existential semester of enjoyment, enrichment and reflection.
That leaves me...where?
This year has been very enlightening, and I think has matured me more than I've matured in any single year since...well possibly ever. I don't know, it's hard to keep track of these things, but it doesn't seem to be too far off base. I'm sure I'm leaving out plenty of fun little events...and probably even an earth shattering event that absolutely should be mentioned. Nonentheless, my assessment of 2005 is a year that brought fleeting hapiness, a lot in the way of reprecussions, and a lot in the way of learning.
The most daunting thing about that is that 2006 needs to be a year where I don't forget the lessons I've learned in respect to work, love, drinking in moderation, and just sociability in general.
I mean you look at it, and it started with a bang. Eric and I were driving to Maya's with Varsha when his car had to be towed for some sort of rubber problem and we listened to "Have you forgotten" a country music song about the twin towers. Okay, so technically this was 2004 but hey it's still 2005 so it's fair game, and it was new year's eve so close enough, right?
Ah, how I remember staying home that New Years being urged by Steve and Tina to come to that new years party now that I was back. Simpler times, when I could still be in the same room with Tim, lol.
January and February brought the Eagles playoff run. We went to the superbowl less than a year ago guys. It's truly hard to believe. As cheesy as it sounds I'll always hold dear that NFC Championship win, sitting up in Chuck's room, slapping high fives and reveling. I'll remember the superbowl and Chuck questioning the musical talents of Paul McCartney at half time, the many left over shrimp, the beer, Chris and Eric, Paul leaving when it looked like we weren't gonna make it, and of course it not mattering. I remember how unfair it was that once again we were cheated out of a championship by a ridiculous choke job. (Don't worry Donny I still love ya). I was so upset, and still am, but I'm still proud of the Eagles
I remember....good God, it's only been one year? One year ago I started a Modern Mosaic class with Brittany Kathy and Julia that launched some of my most solid friendships I've got going right now. One year! It feels like forever. I remember the late night mosaic cram sessions, stressing over paper writing, the lack of studying when hopped up on sugar, throwing M&Ms into the elevator, making iced tea for Brittany and all those long long phone calls. Only a year?
Then there was Lee's tough times breaking up with Melissa. There were countless movie nights spent consoling, and in between the great times bringing smiles to the faces of all during the flicks. It feels good knowing that you've impacted a friend positively during a crucial time.
Remember the party that was supposed to be Steve's where nobody Steve knew was there except for like 4 people, and Steve was bound to a chair? Yeah, sorry about that Steve. I enjoyed myself that night, though, and was sort of a nice reinforcement of my friendships with countless people.
"I'M GOING TO WAWA!"
Let's not forget about Chris and Michelle either. That all broke this year too and I'm not even sure how, to be honest. That's a matter I'm rather hands off in. But it's been fascinating nonetheless.
Then of course we have my all-consuming...what? relationship? affair? romance?...with Tina. There had been tension there for a while but...I wouldn't have guessed it would have come to the surface. I probably shouldn't have let it either. I should have stopped it and known that nothing would be that simple for a woman coming off a long relationship to start a relationship with a friend. But it snowballed...flirting during the school year...Tim going to sleep in his truck... a breakup that under normal circumstances would have been one of those fake break ups...but I was there. It just built up over the Phillies game we went to, at the trip to Steven Lynch where I went to Arcadia afterwards, the night tim slept in his truck, talking online a ridiculous amount, actually addressing the unavoidable issue outside the playground where everyone else was having their own conversations....and then it broke.
So I was there. What happened happened, and you know what? I was really happy. It made me happy, and in just the way John always reflectively says, for fleeting moments, and that you've got to take those moments and make what you can out of them. No, that's what he says in retrospect. He thought it would work in the moment. I know most of you reading this would have or did advise against it and you probably think I'm an idiot for trying. In fact I remember a night where Eric, Steve and Dan all said something about dating Tina being a bad idea beforehand. "We're all smarter than that." "She's like a sister." Yeah I didn't listen to any of that, and it surely wasnt addressed at me anyways and was all off the cuff. Maybe they were right, though, I dont know. I just prefer to think not. Was I selfish and without forethought? Overly optimistic? Yes. It's one of the few situations where my optimism comes to bite me in the ass, and that's a lesson I've learned this year: even optimism can be bad sometimes. It kept me going through the monotony of work a lot of the time, though, and gave me a glimpse at what I might actually want out of a relationship...even if it didn't work out.
Tina went to North Carolina with Kate and got all dodgy after that. Shit hit the fan and I got the hint. I still hold a bit of a grudge against North Carolina...yes the state. It seems to have come up a few times this year, none of them in contexts that are particularly good to me. For example, Brit and JP both had to go to a conference instead of the ACM competition. JP's absence made another person fail to appear, and the entire structure of our teams fell apart. Where was the conference held? Oh why in the grand old state of North Carolina. I'm convinced the entire damn state is evil. But I digress. After a little bit, Tina fell off the face of the Earth and I was able to just push it all out of my mind. (Except for my 21st birthday where I saw her and Tim together at Dorney Park...that is the most hilarious thing to have ever happen to me.) Tina, of course came back, and it's since been harder to push it all out of my mind but I do my damndest on a daily basis. I suppose a year in review isn't the best way to do that, though, but it feels good.
Tina is with Tim now, just as when the year started. All is well with them and that needs to be the end of that story in my mind.
Have I talked long enough about this?
There was of course other stuff going on over the summer. I got my first internship! And my second! I played my first D&D campaign. Plenty of people had their own problems to work out. Phillies games were attended. Boy were those guys disappointing. I remember shouting my head off at the game that effectively ended the season where Wagner gave up a homer and Bell botched a ground ball. I lost my voice telling them they all sucked. The Eagles also sucked, and they are the 2005 Eagles for all but one game on New Years. Somehow I got into the semester, but this hasnt exactly been completely chronological, now has it?
This semester was good. I turned 21 in August and did lots and lots of drinking at bars. Too much at most points I must say, but overall enough to enjoy my senior year. It's too difficult to encapsulate what's gone on this semester. It's really just been a blur of fairly insignificant social events, classes, and bars. Maybe with perspective I'll be able to say something about it, but for now it's just sort of there, hovering as an existential semester of enjoyment, enrichment and reflection.
That leaves me...where?
This year has been very enlightening, and I think has matured me more than I've matured in any single year since...well possibly ever. I don't know, it's hard to keep track of these things, but it doesn't seem to be too far off base. I'm sure I'm leaving out plenty of fun little events...and probably even an earth shattering event that absolutely should be mentioned. Nonentheless, my assessment of 2005 is a year that brought fleeting hapiness, a lot in the way of reprecussions, and a lot in the way of learning.
The most daunting thing about that is that 2006 needs to be a year where I don't forget the lessons I've learned in respect to work, love, drinking in moderation, and just sociability in general.