so i feel like a flaming idiotjerk
so you may or may not have had me mention to you about my potential job at the gourmet farm. it fell through, well i had to turn it down. it turned out that this guy wanted me to work full time like hardcore. [quick aside i started saying hardcore as a joke and now its a full fledged member of my vocabulary, hah] he wanted me to work 50 hours a week, not less than 40. he wanted me to work five days and i told him i could only do four and that was depending on the length of the shift and he was like yea shure. so i thought sweet itll work out. then he comes back and condenses my 40 hr five day a week schedule into four days so im working 10 hour shifts. and i dont believe this guy realized i was going back to school in fall he was talking about benefits. i feel bad because he scheduled me for tomorrow but i called and turned down the job because i called on sunday about the add came in to fill in an application and then he said hi to me and offered me the job without exchanging more than three words. he said to come in monday (today) and try it for a two hours to see if i like it and i did but then when i got there today and he was talking hours i realized i just couldnt take on that much work especially with the summer class im starting in july. i feel bad to get his hopes up and let him down but he offered me the job so fast i just got so disoriented and confused.
oh well. i guess im back to pounding the pavement. the body shop is supposed to call me back about my interview today. and im supposed to call the physical therapy place back on thursday and i sent another resume to a spa and made a call to a day camp. i also inquired at a day camp in tenafly. yea sure it was for the jewish community center but i didnt expect it to be so hardcore. one of the questions on the application was what jewish education have you had? and the different age groups all had jewish names and all the food was kosher. (well i wouldve loved the kosher food, because it would have highly accomodated my vegetarian-ness) so i either wouldnt have gotten the job or i would have been in over my head with jmy lack of judiaism. i realized there was a conflict though. the camp ran until aug 17th and i go back on the 13th for CA training so i emailed and cancelled my interview. sad to see a good job go, but relieved because i wouldve felt like such a outsider.
ive been feeling really down and glum and whatnot. i have too much free time and it lends itself to those quiet inbetweens when you ponder the aspects of your life. when i get pondering about my life for too long i wind up thinking about the last things and people i want to be thinking about and i get so weak. its so lame. sometimes i wish i was less pensive and less inside my own head.