So... I can't even remember the last time I updated... probably another time I was angry...
Well... let's see this time...
I told my bf like almost 2 months ago now - to get the paperwork from his clinic faxed over to my clinic so that we could get 'our' dog Bear neutered and his last vaccines done...
Has he done it?
OF COURSE NOT!
He has pissed me off to the point that I told him "I don't care anymore"
And at this point now, I don't.
I couldn't care less what he does with that damned dog.
His mom has taken over anyways...
She's feeding him new dog foods,
she's feeding him PEOPLE FOOD!!!
she's teaching him wrong stuff
and they let him run around outside without a leash - when he's still a puppy and not paying attention!!!
Bear's already run across highway 27 once so far... that I've been told about...
if he gets hurt, I'm not footing any of the bill - my opinion then? put him down.
I love the pup to bits, and I'd hate to see him grow up to be stupid, which he currently is.
I've taught him what I can when I see him (which seems like fucking never now...)
But there's only so much I can do
And I'm ready to give up
On it all
And I mean it
I'm sick of it
I'm a VETERINARY TECHNICIAN... wouldn't that make people listen because they would think you know what you're talking about????!
Apparently not...
Because I've given HIM AND HIS MOM suggestions on stuff for him... and emphasized on the importance of getting vaccines done at the proper times and getting him neutered at the proper times...
It is now July 1st...
Bear is now almost 5 months old... and he has (supposidly) only had dhpp # 1 and # 2... he does not have his rabies, and does not have his 3rd dhpp booster...
He is running around outside playing with a STRAY/FERRAL cat... who probably has had no vaccines... as well as the neighbours old dog which probably doesn't have any vaccines either...
At this point I'm ready to tell him to give Bear to me because he OBVIOUSLY hasn't shown that he can take care of this dog... or find Bear a better home.
If he was in my house, he would have gotten all the stuff done that needed to be done - AND CHEAPER... but no... he's putting it off longer and longer... he says he'll get it done... he's PROMISED me last weekend he would get it done... but no... gotta love how some guys make us feel so great... then once you ask them to do something... it goes in one ear and out the other?
Yeah... I love that feeling of being ignored...
It's not like I don't deal with being ignored on a daily basis...
My own father isn't really my father anymore (in my opinion)
All he does is drink and sit downstairs in the basement and waste away.
He could disappear and I doubt I would notice.
I would notice on the other hand, that the yelling/arguments between my parents would stop...
which would be wonderful...
But yeah... back to the point of currently feeling un-loved and ignored...
I hate the feeling... it makes me so angry...
And it only gets better...
I get home from school the end of April...
work a couple days...
then one of my co-workers gets booted...
so I start working days (thinking the other tech would share days with me)
but no... she says she has her whole week planned out and she has to leave right at 4 and can't work nights except wednesdays...
so I was going to get stuck with doing 11am-7pm (probably later with how much my boss likes to talk) and I figured why not do it for the summer then tell my boss I want some days in the fall...
I then come down with some 'virus' (according to my dr) for TWO WEEKS... I'm knocked off my feet... can barely function... eat and sleep... I felt dead. (thinking about it now... I might as well have been...)
So, when I finally am alright enough to go back to work from like 2pm-7pm(usually closer to 9pm)... there are two other people I have to share night shifts with...
so there goes working every night to get hours and money...
AND THEN... my boss had this co-op kid working with us in the mornings... but now he wants him to do some split shift in the mornings and then work in the afternoons with one of the 3 of us...
Now... my hours are down even less...
Currently this week I've worked monday 2-7:30 and then this morning's boarders for about 2 hours...
I'm starting to get pissed...
My boss wants to keep me there cuz according to our office manager (who was in an accident and is still off work) who tells me my boss loves me and wants to keep me etc etc blah blah... I'm starting to wonder now...
Because I'm not working much... but I would like to make some money while I can...
And now I'm finding out that my boss may not be taking all the proper taxes off me... so I'm probably going to get screwed in 2 years time for my income tax if I don't deal with it...
SO THERE'S CURRENTLY FAR TOO MUCH ON MY PLATE RIGHT NOW AND I'M READY TO HAVE A MENTAL BREAKDOWN.
*cries*
This is my list of things to do...
- help with car payments (can't because of lack of work)
- help with cell phone payments (can't because of lack of work - ready to cancel phone all together)
- start putting away money towards a house
- help parents out with fixing up the house and stuff
- deal with 'our' dog, which doesn't feel like 'our' dog, it feels like my bf's dog, actually no... his mom's dog.
- deal with my boyfriend being on my nerves currently... I don't think he understands quite how upset I really am... and I think if he pushes anymore buttons, I'm going to scream and walk away and take myself off the 'man market' permanently.
- try to plan some sort of holiday for the summer
- get all my dr's visits, specialist visits, and dentists visits done and paid for
- and the list goes on...
I really don't want to break down about all this... but this seems to be the only way I can feel better...
Either that or play loud music and drive around... which probably isn't a good idea because I'll probably speed and get another huge ticket... which I can't afford at all...
So I'm just sick, I'm sick of it all...
I'm sick of all the fucking people taking advantage of me and stepping on me to get whatever they want...
I'm sick of being sick...
I'm sick of being upset all the time lately...
I'm sick of people wanting to do stuff but I can't do anything...
I'm sick of not wanting to do anything...
I'm sick of feeling depressed...
I'm sick of feeling sad...
I'm sick of feeling angry...
I'm sick of feeling lonely...
I'm sick of feeling unloved...
I'm sick of feeling hurt...
I'm sick of feeling alone...
I'm sick of feeling.
I told my bf like almost 2 months ago now - to get the paperwork from his clinic faxed over to my clinic so that we could get 'our' dog Bear neutered and his last vaccines done...
Has he done it?
OF COURSE NOT!
He has pissed me off to the point that I told him "I don't care anymore"
And at this point now, I don't.
I couldn't care less what he does with that damned dog.
His mom has taken over anyways...
She's feeding him new dog foods,
she's feeding him PEOPLE FOOD!!!
she's teaching him wrong stuff
and they let him run around outside without a leash - when he's still a puppy and not paying attention!!!
Bear's already run across highway 27 once so far... that I've been told about...
if he gets hurt, I'm not footing any of the bill - my opinion then? put him down.
I love the pup to bits, and I'd hate to see him grow up to be stupid, which he currently is.
I've taught him what I can when I see him (which seems like fucking never now...)
But there's only so much I can do
And I'm ready to give up
On it all
And I mean it
I'm sick of it
I'm a VETERINARY TECHNICIAN... wouldn't that make people listen because they would think you know what you're talking about????!
Apparently not...
Because I've given HIM AND HIS MOM suggestions on stuff for him... and emphasized on the importance of getting vaccines done at the proper times and getting him neutered at the proper times...
It is now July 1st...
Bear is now almost 5 months old... and he has (supposidly) only had dhpp # 1 and # 2... he does not have his rabies, and does not have his 3rd dhpp booster...
He is running around outside playing with a STRAY/FERRAL cat... who probably has had no vaccines... as well as the neighbours old dog which probably doesn't have any vaccines either...
At this point I'm ready to tell him to give Bear to me because he OBVIOUSLY hasn't shown that he can take care of this dog... or find Bear a better home.
If he was in my house, he would have gotten all the stuff done that needed to be done - AND CHEAPER... but no... he's putting it off longer and longer... he says he'll get it done... he's PROMISED me last weekend he would get it done... but no... gotta love how some guys make us feel so great... then once you ask them to do something... it goes in one ear and out the other?
Yeah... I love that feeling of being ignored...
It's not like I don't deal with being ignored on a daily basis...
My own father isn't really my father anymore (in my opinion)
All he does is drink and sit downstairs in the basement and waste away.
He could disappear and I doubt I would notice.
I would notice on the other hand, that the yelling/arguments between my parents would stop...
which would be wonderful...
But yeah... back to the point of currently feeling un-loved and ignored...
I hate the feeling... it makes me so angry...
And it only gets better...
I get home from school the end of April...
work a couple days...
then one of my co-workers gets booted...
so I start working days (thinking the other tech would share days with me)
but no... she says she has her whole week planned out and she has to leave right at 4 and can't work nights except wednesdays...
so I was going to get stuck with doing 11am-7pm (probably later with how much my boss likes to talk) and I figured why not do it for the summer then tell my boss I want some days in the fall...
I then come down with some 'virus' (according to my dr) for TWO WEEKS... I'm knocked off my feet... can barely function... eat and sleep... I felt dead. (thinking about it now... I might as well have been...)
So, when I finally am alright enough to go back to work from like 2pm-7pm(usually closer to 9pm)... there are two other people I have to share night shifts with...
so there goes working every night to get hours and money...
AND THEN... my boss had this co-op kid working with us in the mornings... but now he wants him to do some split shift in the mornings and then work in the afternoons with one of the 3 of us...
Now... my hours are down even less...
Currently this week I've worked monday 2-7:30 and then this morning's boarders for about 2 hours...
I'm starting to get pissed...
My boss wants to keep me there cuz according to our office manager (who was in an accident and is still off work) who tells me my boss loves me and wants to keep me etc etc blah blah... I'm starting to wonder now...
Because I'm not working much... but I would like to make some money while I can...
And now I'm finding out that my boss may not be taking all the proper taxes off me... so I'm probably going to get screwed in 2 years time for my income tax if I don't deal with it...
SO THERE'S CURRENTLY FAR TOO MUCH ON MY PLATE RIGHT NOW AND I'M READY TO HAVE A MENTAL BREAKDOWN.
*cries*
This is my list of things to do...
- help with car payments (can't because of lack of work)
- help with cell phone payments (can't because of lack of work - ready to cancel phone all together)
- start putting away money towards a house
- help parents out with fixing up the house and stuff
- deal with 'our' dog, which doesn't feel like 'our' dog, it feels like my bf's dog, actually no... his mom's dog.
- deal with my boyfriend being on my nerves currently... I don't think he understands quite how upset I really am... and I think if he pushes anymore buttons, I'm going to scream and walk away and take myself off the 'man market' permanently.
- try to plan some sort of holiday for the summer
- get all my dr's visits, specialist visits, and dentists visits done and paid for
- and the list goes on...
I really don't want to break down about all this... but this seems to be the only way I can feel better...
Either that or play loud music and drive around... which probably isn't a good idea because I'll probably speed and get another huge ticket... which I can't afford at all...
So I'm just sick, I'm sick of it all...
I'm sick of all the fucking people taking advantage of me and stepping on me to get whatever they want...
I'm sick of being sick...
I'm sick of being upset all the time lately...
I'm sick of people wanting to do stuff but I can't do anything...
I'm sick of not wanting to do anything...
I'm sick of feeling depressed...
I'm sick of feeling sad...
I'm sick of feeling angry...
I'm sick of feeling lonely...
I'm sick of feeling unloved...
I'm sick of feeling hurt...
I'm sick of feeling alone...
I'm sick of feeling.