ignorant bliss

Mar 13, 2006 12:25

ahhh, life is good. just like my last entry. not much has changed, if anything at all. the family back in cali, jenn and cash money are the only 3 touchy subjects in my life, none of which i can do anything about. so why stress, right? i am trying. i am also trying not to be a bitch. i don't know if it's me going off my medication again doubling up with pms but GAWD, i've been a fucker lately... i'm glad alea is understanding and helpful... it makes it much easier to be me at these times. she is so very great, i am truely lucky to have her in my life... if not only for a little bit. i don't know what the future holds, but as of now i am happy with the way things are moving along...

i hate to keep harping on the jenn thing, but shit. issues keep arising and it's driving me fucking nuts... friday she brought zandi over to make dinner at our place. they made a huge mess in the kitchen, dirty dishes - crap splattered on the wall above the stove and then proceeded to leave all the leftovers and shit to sit in the pots and pans overnight... one night, two, three... i finally broke and did all the dishes except the pans that still had crap in them... i left those for jenn, who CONVENIENTLY hasn't been home to do them... she also started to do "all" her laundry on friday, which still remains heaped in piles on the living room floor. if she had a fucking room this wouldn't be an issue... and i do apologize moneylove, but if this was the circumstance i would have NO fucking problem tossing her shit in her room. umm. i would think you'd agree?

anyhoo, it's that kinda shit with her and her fucking "dating" partner, so to speak. the partner got really drunk that night, on hard-a, which she KNOWS she can't handle and proceeded to act like a fucking asshole... at one point she asked me to come sit down with her and jenn on the couch... she pinched my boobs, like she always does when she's drunk... i threw her hands off me repeatedly, so she turned her attention to jenn... pinching her and pulling her hair... jenn just sat there like a fucking lump, allowing it to happen. i sat in silence half wanting to grab the partner's arm off my best friend and break it in two and half wanting to vomit. i don't know how anyone allows someone to treat them that way, but i'll be damned if i ever sit back and watch it happen again. i know jenn's an adult, and i know she can make her own decisions, but i have no problem kicking her partner out of my house for such behavior. i won't allow it in my house again.

before said partner was drunk we had invited her out with us to cherry which turned out to be a bad idea. i don't even know why thought it would ever be a good idea, cuz she's not one of my favorite people... i s'pose i was just trying to be nice, and cheerful like i have been lately... she's also been really depressed and not doing anything, so i thought dancing the night away would have been good for her. anyway, to make a long story short she proceeded to tick off every one in contact with her and by the end of the night she had been passed along to one of our mutual friends... how she handled her for the night is beyond me... my immediate friends were ready to throw her into oncoming traffic. and the kicker, she doesn't even remember leaving my apartment. GET SOME FUCKING HELP!

i can't wait to get out of here again... it's only been 3 months since my last vacation to cali, but i can't take much more of my living situation. i want jenn out, cuz i can't handle her bullshit drama... i can't handle her messiness... i can't handle her discourtesy... i want to live in a 1 bedroom that's cheap(er) with my fucking cats and be able to have whomever i want over, whenever i want them over, for however long i want them there and not have to work around someone else's schedule. she doesn't communicate in any way, shape or form and i unfortunately can't read her ever changing mind. this situation is wearing thin on our friendship, it has been for MONTHS... i need a fucking break, for real.

and then there's the family back home... sigh. i don't even want to go there.

i am happy. i am thrilled to have a life i love. and for the most part i am delirious with the people i have in it. moneylove, alea... thank you for being in my life, thank you for keeping me sane, and thank you most of all for being you. i love you both to pieces.
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