let's go fishing
a friendly gal of mine introduced me to a new site... it's called pandora.com... you can make your own station by typing in an artist or song and they base your station off that... you can say yay or nay to new songs and if you happen to not like one the message "we will never play that on your station again" pops up... so cute! anyways, i have this awesome shit on... and so much cool stuff is popping up. i think i will get myself yet another christmas present and buy more music... after all, it makes the world go 'round, right?
i am in such a good place after visiting california. i spent some really great time with my mom and sister... my drunkle even! his car got "stolen" by a "friend" of his... at least that's what he says, but mom and i both think he gave his car away to him... at least for a while, he does that kinda shit when he's intoxicated... poor fellow, i just hope he gets his shit together before he ends up 6 feet under like my grandpa. i had a long talk with mom about it last night and she agrees when i say he's got to do it on his own... i just know how she is and i know she's going to carry the responsibility like always... she takes on too much, i worry. and i am SO MUCH like her, it's eery... never have i thought it would be to this extent, but i am my fucking mother! for once in my life i am a-okay with it... she's a nutbag but has such a good heart. i love.
i have been doing much thinking about my life and where i want to go with it... i am content in seattle, i am overjoyed to have my best friend here with me... i miss my family so fucking much - they bring the blood into my veins, pump it into my heart and keep me smiling. i wish they were closer, but i know the distance is good for me... without it i'm afraid i would take them for granted again. i miss sister mostest just because we're so close and she is one of the few people in my life i can truely be myself in front of... she knows the in's and out's of my being, better than i do i think and she still loves me with all she is... that kinda love is what i yearn for in all relationships... fucking brutal honesty.
when i returned jenn said i looked different and i'll be god damned if i don't feel different. it's like i grew 10 feet taller being back home... i am so excited for what the future holds... i am excited because i bought new fucking shoes and i love them. i bought sweaters and signs and make-up and this and that and this and that... and i love it all... not that i'm materialistic, but i bought a $250 coat that i am so in love with... and i can FOR ME because only i can give myself the things i need and WANT... want want want... i want to be happy, i need to be... i want to be open and honest and keep only positive in my life because that's what i fucking deserve.
i'm going back to school next year... for what, i'm not quite sure at this point but it will be something that has my heart... photography, forensics, dental hygiene! lol. i will visit book stores and READ MORE! i will walk A LOT and even SING and SMILE when i pass strangers! i will fart in all my glory... and laught out loud at myself for it... i will FINALLY get off this extra weight until i'm COMFORTABLE in my skin... there is so much to do, so much time, so much promise. i have forgiven and that feels sooooo GOOD!
i want to fucking go FISHING! and camping. jesus... send me your LOVE and PRAISE ME! amen and hallelujah. the end.
i am in such a good place after visiting california. i spent some really great time with my mom and sister... my drunkle even! his car got "stolen" by a "friend" of his... at least that's what he says, but mom and i both think he gave his car away to him... at least for a while, he does that kinda shit when he's intoxicated... poor fellow, i just hope he gets his shit together before he ends up 6 feet under like my grandpa. i had a long talk with mom about it last night and she agrees when i say he's got to do it on his own... i just know how she is and i know she's going to carry the responsibility like always... she takes on too much, i worry. and i am SO MUCH like her, it's eery... never have i thought it would be to this extent, but i am my fucking mother! for once in my life i am a-okay with it... she's a nutbag but has such a good heart. i love.
i have been doing much thinking about my life and where i want to go with it... i am content in seattle, i am overjoyed to have my best friend here with me... i miss my family so fucking much - they bring the blood into my veins, pump it into my heart and keep me smiling. i wish they were closer, but i know the distance is good for me... without it i'm afraid i would take them for granted again. i miss sister mostest just because we're so close and she is one of the few people in my life i can truely be myself in front of... she knows the in's and out's of my being, better than i do i think and she still loves me with all she is... that kinda love is what i yearn for in all relationships... fucking brutal honesty.
when i returned jenn said i looked different and i'll be god damned if i don't feel different. it's like i grew 10 feet taller being back home... i am so excited for what the future holds... i am excited because i bought new fucking shoes and i love them. i bought sweaters and signs and make-up and this and that and this and that... and i love it all... not that i'm materialistic, but i bought a $250 coat that i am so in love with... and i can FOR ME because only i can give myself the things i need and WANT... want want want... i want to be happy, i need to be... i want to be open and honest and keep only positive in my life because that's what i fucking deserve.
i'm going back to school next year... for what, i'm not quite sure at this point but it will be something that has my heart... photography, forensics, dental hygiene! lol. i will visit book stores and READ MORE! i will walk A LOT and even SING and SMILE when i pass strangers! i will fart in all my glory... and laught out loud at myself for it... i will FINALLY get off this extra weight until i'm COMFORTABLE in my skin... there is so much to do, so much time, so much promise. i have forgiven and that feels sooooo GOOD!
i want to fucking go FISHING! and camping. jesus... send me your LOVE and PRAISE ME! amen and hallelujah. the end.