welcome to the real world..
i cannot wait til tonight! schoolies will begin... not what i was expecting it to be but the most important thing is that i will be with my friends and there will be alcohol!
it was a pretty hot weekend... saturday i made a complete dick of myself... it was my debut start in A grade and it didn't go how i planned it to... i played like crap... honestly the worst i've played in a long time... we lost the game because of me... i don't know what he was thinking, i'm not ready for that yet.. it was one of those moments when you ask yourself: "what am i doing?, this isn't fun... i don't want to do this anymore..." but i'll keep going... i've worked hard at this for 5 years, i can't give up... those ppl with the natural ability give me the shits.. they don't train, yet are still better than me.. it's not fair.. i've worked hard to get here and i feel like i've reached a point that i can't get past.. everyone keeps telling me "oh you've had yr 12 this year, its ok you'll get back up there." up where? i don't think ppl undersatnd that i'm glad i didn't get in the aust squad this year.. i don't wanna play at that level.. i'm quite happy playing with my fellow south aussies in red, blue and yellow... green and gold isn't my goal anymore... i was and i got there and it was great, don't get my wrong it was an honor playing in that uniform but i just want to be a teenager while i can... take alex for example, she's was in the squad to and still is but she doesn't drink, never goes out and is so focused at trainings, never mucks around... i dunno but i play softball for fun not because it's a chore!
belinda collapsed at training yesterday... sometimes i think they push us too hard... i know i've throw-up a few times and not because i was hung over... it was hot and there's no shade... it's the worst place ever...
well i better go get ready for this crusade tonight!!! certainly looking forward to it!
it was a pretty hot weekend... saturday i made a complete dick of myself... it was my debut start in A grade and it didn't go how i planned it to... i played like crap... honestly the worst i've played in a long time... we lost the game because of me... i don't know what he was thinking, i'm not ready for that yet.. it was one of those moments when you ask yourself: "what am i doing?, this isn't fun... i don't want to do this anymore..." but i'll keep going... i've worked hard at this for 5 years, i can't give up... those ppl with the natural ability give me the shits.. they don't train, yet are still better than me.. it's not fair.. i've worked hard to get here and i feel like i've reached a point that i can't get past.. everyone keeps telling me "oh you've had yr 12 this year, its ok you'll get back up there." up where? i don't think ppl undersatnd that i'm glad i didn't get in the aust squad this year.. i don't wanna play at that level.. i'm quite happy playing with my fellow south aussies in red, blue and yellow... green and gold isn't my goal anymore... i was and i got there and it was great, don't get my wrong it was an honor playing in that uniform but i just want to be a teenager while i can... take alex for example, she's was in the squad to and still is but she doesn't drink, never goes out and is so focused at trainings, never mucks around... i dunno but i play softball for fun not because it's a chore!
belinda collapsed at training yesterday... sometimes i think they push us too hard... i know i've throw-up a few times and not because i was hung over... it was hot and there's no shade... it's the worst place ever...
well i better go get ready for this crusade tonight!!! certainly looking forward to it!