Clusterfuck
Monday September 20 - Mookie is starting to look dehydrated from her chronic kidney issues again, so I take her in to the vet before work thinking all she needs is another dose of subcutaneous fluids and she'll be right as rain. The vet instead does his assessment and tells me that there's nothing he can do for her; fluids would only give her a couple more days but he recommends instead that we put her down.
As it turns out this is an easy, albeit painful, decision for me to make. I went through this once before with Artemis; I put him through tests and transfusions and injections and respirators and IVs all for naught; he passed away at the VEC before I could get to there to be with him. I promised myself it wouldn't happen again, and that with Mookie, when her time came, I would send her off as peacefully as possible and not make her endure the last hours of her life poked and prodded and alone. There in the vet's office, Jeremy and I have to say goodbye to her, and watch the frail little creature who's been my baby for 13 years of my life pass away in front of my eyes. She was about 18 years old.
I can't go to work in that state, so Jeremy drops me off at home and goes to work. The first thing I see when I walk in is Mookie's little orange bed under the pinball machine and I fall to my knees and lose it.
Sally comes down to see what the ruckus is about, and I remember that she hasn't received her meds that morning and give them to her. Then I spend the rest of the day eating through a box of tissue and wishing that the house didn't feel so empty and lonesome.
Later Jeremy comes home, we are sad together, but we try to distract ourselves by packing for our trip to Germany the next day before deciding to call it a night and go to bed. Sally seems to be acting strangely.
Tuesday September 21 - Jeremy and I wake up and get the last of the packing and things done before dropping Sally off at Victoria's and going off to work. Our flight is at 9pm. Sally seems kind of woozy looking and a bit wobbly, and her eyes are running and we're starting to get worried. As I'm packing Sally's food and meds to give to Victoria, I realize that the day before I'd accidentally given Sally 10 times the amount of one of her meds; she'd been put on a second medication the week before and I'd never given it to her before, and even though I read the prescription--0.3ml--in my grief I misunderstood this new syringe; it went up to 3ml and I filled the whole thing and gave it to her. I hadn't realized my mistake until 24hours later. Jeremy calls the vet and they tell him to rush her over immediately; she'll need to be put on an IV flush and stay at the vets for 2 days. Meanwhile, I call Victoria and update her on the situation; we now have no way of dealing with this because we'll be out of the country. In the end we have Jeremy's brother pick her up from the vet and make arrangements with Victoria to drop Sally off at her house for the remainder of the week while we're away.
Jeremy and I, exhausted and sad, take 10 hours of planes and 6 hours of trains to eventually arrive in Hamburg, Germany.
Wednesday September 22-Thursday September 23 - We can take little joy in our surroundings until we hear an update from the vet. He calls late on Thursday to tell us that Sally is doing just fine. There is no short-term damage from her overdose, and he is optimistic that she will have no long-term damage but that we should of course keep an eye on her. We are relieved, and can finally have some real fun. More on this later.
Sunday September 26 - "Vomitrocious Noise Cruise 2010" actually turns out to be "Rainy Noise But Fun Anyway Cruise 2010", but Jeremy and I are both starting to get sore throats.
Monday September 27 - One last meet-up with our Flatstock friends, then we catch the train to Amsterdam. By now Jeremy and I are full-blown sick with sore throats and stuffy sinuses and the like. 6 hours on the train, which is actually quite pleasant. We have chili in the dining car. We arrive in Amsterdam around 10pm and get settled in our hotel room. Our flight home is at 2pm the next day, so we go out and see as much Amsterdam as we can that night. At the end of the evening we decide to have a fancy expensive dinner at an upscale Argentinean steak restaurant, in the middle of which we get into a fight. This ends our evening on a rather sour note.
Tuesday September 28 - We catch our flights home, both even sicker than the day before, and pick up Sally from Chris and Victoria's house. We endure a frustrating trip to Tim Horton's for chicken soup on the way home, during which it hits me that we'll be arriving home to a Mookie-less house. I mourn her once again. We get home, eat our soup, try to distract ourselves with some television, and go to bed. We notice that Sally has a sniffle and become worried, but chalk it up to the stress of having been in hospital for 2 days, bounced around between two houses, and having to spend time with strange animals at Victoria's house.
Wednesday September 29 - Jeremy wakes up feeling better, I wake up feeling worse. The cold is now in my lungs, and I'm achy and wheezing and feeling like garbage. I stay home from work to rest up and try to feel better; at one point in the day I coughed up blood, and at another point I coughed so hard I thought I'd cracked a rib. I'm trying to keep an eye on Sally, who is acting like herself but is wheezing, sneezing, thin and kind of dopey. Jeremy comes home and we are full-blown worried about her; I'm hoping it's just a little cold because the alternative is simply to painful to bear.
Thursday September 30 - Sally is clearly sick. Jeremy takes her to the vet, and on the way there his Audi TT breaks down. He takes a cab to the vet, who takes one look at her and is aghast; she's lost half a pound (10% of her body weight) since she was there last week. She's dehydrated so they'll give her some fluids and run some tests to find out what the fuck is going on. Meanwhile, the bill from last week has totaled $1400--luckily $800 of that is covered by Sally's insurance. However, that's still $600 that I feel responsible for, plus whatever today's bill will be. Jeremy goes back to wait for CAA by the car, and phones me to give me today's update.
I'm barely well enough to be at work but feel too guilty to stay at home again, so I'm trying to bury myself in work to avoid thinking about the obvious; that if Sally dies it will be all my fault, and that Jeremy and I will have lost both our kitties in a week. I don't even know what I would do in that event. It's hard to remain positive given the horrible events of this past week, and I'm convinced that in a past life I was a child molester or something. What did I do to deserve this?
As it turns out this is an easy, albeit painful, decision for me to make. I went through this once before with Artemis; I put him through tests and transfusions and injections and respirators and IVs all for naught; he passed away at the VEC before I could get to there to be with him. I promised myself it wouldn't happen again, and that with Mookie, when her time came, I would send her off as peacefully as possible and not make her endure the last hours of her life poked and prodded and alone. There in the vet's office, Jeremy and I have to say goodbye to her, and watch the frail little creature who's been my baby for 13 years of my life pass away in front of my eyes. She was about 18 years old.
I can't go to work in that state, so Jeremy drops me off at home and goes to work. The first thing I see when I walk in is Mookie's little orange bed under the pinball machine and I fall to my knees and lose it.
Sally comes down to see what the ruckus is about, and I remember that she hasn't received her meds that morning and give them to her. Then I spend the rest of the day eating through a box of tissue and wishing that the house didn't feel so empty and lonesome.
Later Jeremy comes home, we are sad together, but we try to distract ourselves by packing for our trip to Germany the next day before deciding to call it a night and go to bed. Sally seems to be acting strangely.
Tuesday September 21 - Jeremy and I wake up and get the last of the packing and things done before dropping Sally off at Victoria's and going off to work. Our flight is at 9pm. Sally seems kind of woozy looking and a bit wobbly, and her eyes are running and we're starting to get worried. As I'm packing Sally's food and meds to give to Victoria, I realize that the day before I'd accidentally given Sally 10 times the amount of one of her meds; she'd been put on a second medication the week before and I'd never given it to her before, and even though I read the prescription--0.3ml--in my grief I misunderstood this new syringe; it went up to 3ml and I filled the whole thing and gave it to her. I hadn't realized my mistake until 24hours later. Jeremy calls the vet and they tell him to rush her over immediately; she'll need to be put on an IV flush and stay at the vets for 2 days. Meanwhile, I call Victoria and update her on the situation; we now have no way of dealing with this because we'll be out of the country. In the end we have Jeremy's brother pick her up from the vet and make arrangements with Victoria to drop Sally off at her house for the remainder of the week while we're away.
Jeremy and I, exhausted and sad, take 10 hours of planes and 6 hours of trains to eventually arrive in Hamburg, Germany.
Wednesday September 22-Thursday September 23 - We can take little joy in our surroundings until we hear an update from the vet. He calls late on Thursday to tell us that Sally is doing just fine. There is no short-term damage from her overdose, and he is optimistic that she will have no long-term damage but that we should of course keep an eye on her. We are relieved, and can finally have some real fun. More on this later.
Sunday September 26 - "Vomitrocious Noise Cruise 2010" actually turns out to be "Rainy Noise But Fun Anyway Cruise 2010", but Jeremy and I are both starting to get sore throats.
Monday September 27 - One last meet-up with our Flatstock friends, then we catch the train to Amsterdam. By now Jeremy and I are full-blown sick with sore throats and stuffy sinuses and the like. 6 hours on the train, which is actually quite pleasant. We have chili in the dining car. We arrive in Amsterdam around 10pm and get settled in our hotel room. Our flight home is at 2pm the next day, so we go out and see as much Amsterdam as we can that night. At the end of the evening we decide to have a fancy expensive dinner at an upscale Argentinean steak restaurant, in the middle of which we get into a fight. This ends our evening on a rather sour note.
Tuesday September 28 - We catch our flights home, both even sicker than the day before, and pick up Sally from Chris and Victoria's house. We endure a frustrating trip to Tim Horton's for chicken soup on the way home, during which it hits me that we'll be arriving home to a Mookie-less house. I mourn her once again. We get home, eat our soup, try to distract ourselves with some television, and go to bed. We notice that Sally has a sniffle and become worried, but chalk it up to the stress of having been in hospital for 2 days, bounced around between two houses, and having to spend time with strange animals at Victoria's house.
Wednesday September 29 - Jeremy wakes up feeling better, I wake up feeling worse. The cold is now in my lungs, and I'm achy and wheezing and feeling like garbage. I stay home from work to rest up and try to feel better; at one point in the day I coughed up blood, and at another point I coughed so hard I thought I'd cracked a rib. I'm trying to keep an eye on Sally, who is acting like herself but is wheezing, sneezing, thin and kind of dopey. Jeremy comes home and we are full-blown worried about her; I'm hoping it's just a little cold because the alternative is simply to painful to bear.
Thursday September 30 - Sally is clearly sick. Jeremy takes her to the vet, and on the way there his Audi TT breaks down. He takes a cab to the vet, who takes one look at her and is aghast; she's lost half a pound (10% of her body weight) since she was there last week. She's dehydrated so they'll give her some fluids and run some tests to find out what the fuck is going on. Meanwhile, the bill from last week has totaled $1400--luckily $800 of that is covered by Sally's insurance. However, that's still $600 that I feel responsible for, plus whatever today's bill will be. Jeremy goes back to wait for CAA by the car, and phones me to give me today's update.
I'm barely well enough to be at work but feel too guilty to stay at home again, so I'm trying to bury myself in work to avoid thinking about the obvious; that if Sally dies it will be all my fault, and that Jeremy and I will have lost both our kitties in a week. I don't even know what I would do in that event. It's hard to remain positive given the horrible events of this past week, and I'm convinced that in a past life I was a child molester or something. What did I do to deserve this?