My Angry Letters
It's been a 3 angry letter week! And it's only Tuesday! Lets see how those turned out:
Every Cable Broadcasting Network
Every Broadcast Office
USA
To whom it may concern,
If you're going to run a marathon (Memorial Day, Labor Day, Christmas, Arbor Day, etc) of a single show that pre-empts the rest of your programming for the rest of the day, please, in the future, be so kind as to make it a marathon of a show that I actually enjoy watching.
Thank you for your time,
-monkey
-not killing you yet
Home Box Office
A subsidiary of Viacom
Their Office
USA
To whom it may concern,
While I am a huge fan of the majority of HBO's prime time programming (Oz, Big Love, Rome, etc), I find it appalling that the seasons of these shows only last 8-10 episodes, and after you have thoroughly addicted us to this truly excellent media fare, you force us to wait for YEARS on end while you crank out new episodes as slowly as possible.
I cannot see how you can justify this sort of wait. I require either an explination, or 2 new seasons of Rome, to begin immediately. Lord knows I can't stand another month without that dreamy Lucius Vorenus. Or Titus Pullo, for that matter.
Bring it on, or you die.
-monkey
-should have killed you when you announced that the new season of Rome wouldn't come out until 2007...bastards.
PS: Pass this along to Showtime. I know you people talk. Cancel Dead Like Me without telling me...
Proprietors of Gorditos
Queen Anne Avenue N.
Seattle, WA, 98109
To whom it may concern,
Why the hell are you closed on Tuesdays? I wanted a burrito, specifically, one of your burritos, more than I wanted to wake up secure in the knowledge that both of my legs were functioning.
Sadly, after walking the 3 blocks on a bright, sunny Seattle springtime day (shhh, don't tell anyone, we want them to think it rains up here), I discovered, with no notice, that your establishment was CLOSED! I was so filled with rage that I not only kicked a trash can into a plate glass window, I set a small dog on fire with the power of my mind.
This cannot continue. Tuesdays are BurriTuesdays. By all that is good and decent in this world, I warn you, if I am not placated with Burrito goodness on Tuesday, then woe be unto you and yours, for my wrath is mighty, and without limits.
Sincerely yours,
-monkey
-yo quero burrito y MAS, dammit!
Every Cable Broadcasting Network
Every Broadcast Office
USA
To whom it may concern,
If you're going to run a marathon (Memorial Day, Labor Day, Christmas, Arbor Day, etc) of a single show that pre-empts the rest of your programming for the rest of the day, please, in the future, be so kind as to make it a marathon of a show that I actually enjoy watching.
Thank you for your time,
-monkey
-not killing you yet
Home Box Office
A subsidiary of Viacom
Their Office
USA
To whom it may concern,
While I am a huge fan of the majority of HBO's prime time programming (Oz, Big Love, Rome, etc), I find it appalling that the seasons of these shows only last 8-10 episodes, and after you have thoroughly addicted us to this truly excellent media fare, you force us to wait for YEARS on end while you crank out new episodes as slowly as possible.
I cannot see how you can justify this sort of wait. I require either an explination, or 2 new seasons of Rome, to begin immediately. Lord knows I can't stand another month without that dreamy Lucius Vorenus. Or Titus Pullo, for that matter.
Bring it on, or you die.
-monkey
-should have killed you when you announced that the new season of Rome wouldn't come out until 2007...bastards.
PS: Pass this along to Showtime. I know you people talk. Cancel Dead Like Me without telling me...
Proprietors of Gorditos
Queen Anne Avenue N.
Seattle, WA, 98109
To whom it may concern,
Why the hell are you closed on Tuesdays? I wanted a burrito, specifically, one of your burritos, more than I wanted to wake up secure in the knowledge that both of my legs were functioning.
Sadly, after walking the 3 blocks on a bright, sunny Seattle springtime day (shhh, don't tell anyone, we want them to think it rains up here), I discovered, with no notice, that your establishment was CLOSED! I was so filled with rage that I not only kicked a trash can into a plate glass window, I set a small dog on fire with the power of my mind.
This cannot continue. Tuesdays are BurriTuesdays. By all that is good and decent in this world, I warn you, if I am not placated with Burrito goodness on Tuesday, then woe be unto you and yours, for my wrath is mighty, and without limits.
Sincerely yours,
-monkey
-yo quero burrito y MAS, dammit!