well
I took a long drive tonight and thought about things. Thought about the way things were going and how unhappy I am. I realized why. It's cause I depend on people to much. So back up my wall goes. Time to be cold hearted again. You want me to be there for you when times are tough....tough shit. you weren't there for me. This whole weekend I've reached out to people and no one was there and made me feel like I was a burden when I did tell them what I needed. You want a shoulder to cry on when someone hurts you...tough shit...my shoulders are for no one now. You want to hang out when your bored...tough shit. The only person I can depend on in this world is myself. So therefore I have to learn to do that. So fuck everyone. You need me...you better prove to me that you can be there for me first. If not, fuck off. And i'll let you know. Cause I'll start doing what everyone else does. I'll turn the convo into either about me, or change the subject. If my feelings and my depression wasn't enough for you to care...then your's isn't either. Will this make me happy? Probably not, but it will stop some of the pain. Pain I can't take anymore. I've realized that I'm all alone in this world and that's what it's going to be like for the rest of my life. Cause apparently it's too much to ask for someone to be there for me like i'm always there for other people. SO no more. Don't ask me for advice...i won't be giving it.