So, Almost Four Years later
I'm going to make an attempt to fill in the 4 years. And then post something for the present. God bless this attempt, earnestly....
So, in March I was in love with a New Boyfriend, by the name of Michael Harris. Our official Run(s) December 4th 05-October20th 06...........August 08-December 29th 08.
I fell head over heels for this kid, but it kinda scared him. I was uber emotional (if you can't tell) so we fought alllllll the time. During the time period that we broke up, I did go out and date and talk to men but he didn't really talk to anyone. I had one boyfriend during this time and I kinda sorta broke his heart, I felt terrible. Mike and I got back together when Mike felt threatened by another man. I got pulled into something I was not ready for. But I didn't want to say no because it was something I had wanted for so long. I didn't want to regret.
The man he felt threatened by is Joe. Joe and I worked together. We met on February 28th 2008....and that's when the whirlwind started. I finally met my match. We fought the whole time. the WHOLE time. From February to August. I broke up with him, and later he told me he couldn't believe it lol. I always called Michael a robot, but Joe is truly a robot lol. I'm creative, emotional, artsy....He is logical, organized, consumed by money.
Mike and I stopped being strong friends when he walked in on Joe and I. Of course, Joe was talking to a girl for many months but I did not find out til that relationship she had with her was at the tail-end. She lied to him like he lied to me. Ironic, no? She fucked him. But I was there for him. I picked up the pieces. Joe and I were off and on from that point of end of april to october.
At this point, it's he and I.
It's hard to fathom because of all the history that is there despite only knowing eachother coming up on 2 years. I truly feel and believe that we are meant to be together. This is not a partnership of convenience or gain for me. He travels all the time and he is emotionally unavailable sometimes. However, he makes me feel love. True dumb love, like the first time. And that really does scare the shit out of me, to put it bluntly. My run with James was not smooth. I feel, though, as long as he is true in his actions and with his heart, this can only end well. I trust him.
I have left out a lot. I feel that certain things will be filled in throughout the days. I tend to overthink a lot, which leads to intense and redundant reflection.
Other Misc.:::::::::
I am a supervisor at a call center
I live in the same apartment
I have a Kia, but had a Chevy S10
I have had an abortion
I am pro life now
I look honest because I share what I want to
I'm a liar because I still hide everything else
I really am madly in love with someone who has a lot of money, but their success is a turn off
The drive my boyfriend has shows passion, which is a turn on
I have tendencies to act before thinking
I have no social life to overcompensate for my compulsive behavior (safety precaution)
I stopped talking to Mike, and told him I would, he made me feel like and asshole
I am an asshole
I'm completely different than I was in 2005
I will end this with something my old friend, Mike Harris, told me about myself::::::
You are ruined. He ruined you. You are like a white shirt and he is a red shirt that stained you. No matter how many washes, I can't fix what he has done to you and how you look at me and men.
So, in March I was in love with a New Boyfriend, by the name of Michael Harris. Our official Run(s) December 4th 05-October20th 06...........August 08-December 29th 08.
I fell head over heels for this kid, but it kinda scared him. I was uber emotional (if you can't tell) so we fought alllllll the time. During the time period that we broke up, I did go out and date and talk to men but he didn't really talk to anyone. I had one boyfriend during this time and I kinda sorta broke his heart, I felt terrible. Mike and I got back together when Mike felt threatened by another man. I got pulled into something I was not ready for. But I didn't want to say no because it was something I had wanted for so long. I didn't want to regret.
The man he felt threatened by is Joe. Joe and I worked together. We met on February 28th 2008....and that's when the whirlwind started. I finally met my match. We fought the whole time. the WHOLE time. From February to August. I broke up with him, and later he told me he couldn't believe it lol. I always called Michael a robot, but Joe is truly a robot lol. I'm creative, emotional, artsy....He is logical, organized, consumed by money.
Mike and I stopped being strong friends when he walked in on Joe and I. Of course, Joe was talking to a girl for many months but I did not find out til that relationship she had with her was at the tail-end. She lied to him like he lied to me. Ironic, no? She fucked him. But I was there for him. I picked up the pieces. Joe and I were off and on from that point of end of april to october.
At this point, it's he and I.
It's hard to fathom because of all the history that is there despite only knowing eachother coming up on 2 years. I truly feel and believe that we are meant to be together. This is not a partnership of convenience or gain for me. He travels all the time and he is emotionally unavailable sometimes. However, he makes me feel love. True dumb love, like the first time. And that really does scare the shit out of me, to put it bluntly. My run with James was not smooth. I feel, though, as long as he is true in his actions and with his heart, this can only end well. I trust him.
I have left out a lot. I feel that certain things will be filled in throughout the days. I tend to overthink a lot, which leads to intense and redundant reflection.
Other Misc.:::::::::
I am a supervisor at a call center
I live in the same apartment
I have a Kia, but had a Chevy S10
I have had an abortion
I am pro life now
I look honest because I share what I want to
I'm a liar because I still hide everything else
I really am madly in love with someone who has a lot of money, but their success is a turn off
The drive my boyfriend has shows passion, which is a turn on
I have tendencies to act before thinking
I have no social life to overcompensate for my compulsive behavior (safety precaution)
I stopped talking to Mike, and told him I would, he made me feel like and asshole
I am an asshole
I'm completely different than I was in 2005
I will end this with something my old friend, Mike Harris, told me about myself::::::
You are ruined. He ruined you. You are like a white shirt and he is a red shirt that stained you. No matter how many washes, I can't fix what he has done to you and how you look at me and men.