my rant on x-men: the last stand
this past week i debated on whether or not to post about my feelings on X3... i've decided it's best to vent and get it over with now so i can move on with my life. be warned: this is very long and i'm not expecting anyone to read all of it. i honestly just needed to get this out of my system...
i'm not quite sure where to begin...there were so many disappointments.
i didn't hate the movie, but to appreciate it, i have to isolate it as the last chapter of a decent sci-fi trilogy, rather than think of it also as a comic adaptation. in case you didn't know, i am a HUGE X-Men fan. while it took some time to adjust to the changes made to some of my beloved characters (ESPECIALLY ROGUE!), i was actually satisfied with the first two X-films...X3? i can never forgive Brett Ratner for this one... he completely destroyed everything i grew up on. the movie left me broken and crying (seriously, i've never felt so betrayed about a comic movie before). the only good thing he had going for him was the brilliant casting of Kelsey Grammer as Henry McCoy aka Beast and including the "furball"'s trademark line, "Oh my stars and garters!". that one line made me smile while my heart was being crushed because of everything else that was happening during the movie.
also, as brief as her appearance was, i was pleased with the casting of Moira MacTaggert. Olivia Williams is quite possibly the perfect cast i've seen, as far as looks go, besides Patrick Stewart as Xavier. she was given only a couple lines but she made use of them and created a very believable Dr. Moira MacTaggert. Kudos, Ms. Williams!
ok...now for the list of disappointments.
let's start with the lack of CHARACTER INTEGRITY!
1. Storm - Halle Berry, what the fuck did you do to my Stormie?!?! Ororo Munroe aka Storm is looked upon as a Goddess. she is the epitome of elegance and wisdom and what do you do with her character? you give her that sorry metro haircut with black tinting, a whiney attitude towards "the cure" and completely drop your attempts at an ethnic accent (wait, maybe that's a good thing. at least you know you can't pull it off). you're supposed to be this amazing award-winning actress and yet you're too much of a diva to stay true to a simple comic book character without adding your diva flair to it. let it be known you are on my shit list for this.
2. Juggernaut - He is NOT A MUTANT! his power comes from a gem that transformed him into juggernaut and provides him with a protective helmet to prevent telepathic attacks from step-BROTHER, CHARLES XAVIER! for whatever reason, they chose to skip over that fact. much like how they skipped over the fact that Rogue is the adopted daughter of Mystique!...but we'll get to them later.
3. Colossus. oh, Colossus. since when are you an American? tho this issue sprouted from X2, i choose to address it now. Piotr "Peter" Nikolievitch Rasputin is a russian farmboy who has a deep relationship with Kitty Pride aka Shadowcat. i guess Bryan Singer decided to ignore Colossus' history and turned him into a strapping young American hunk...eye candy for the female audience...and gay? come to think of it, i don't remember Colossus having any speaking lines in X3. maybe an attempt to make up for one of Singer's "colossal" (yes, pun intended) mistakes?
4. Speaking of Kitty Pride... well.. honestly i didn't have much of a problem with this one other than she seemed so out of place and unnecessary. so just for trivia's sake her original codename was Ariel, followed by Sprite, and later on she adopted the codename, Shadowcat. everything else about kitty seemed close enough to the character for me. she's still a brainiac which was cool to see, however brief it was.
5. Iceman - tho Bobby Drake and Rogue did have a fling at one point in the comics, nothing became of their relationship past a solid friendship. Bobby was one of the original X-Men, known for being a wise guy and prankster. maybe Singer didn't like that about the original iceman and decided to make him the sensitive and caring fool he is in the movies. Ratner did little more for him.
6. Callisto - how does Ratner take a respected, deformed, tentacle-armed leader of the infamous Morlocks and turn her into a punk teenager with the additional power of superspeed? and then there's the whole Callisto vs. Storm thing. in the comics this feud was an integral part of storm's x-history , as she becomes the leader of the morlocks after defeating callisto in battle. in X3 - a shameful attempt at nodding to said x-history...shameful.
7. Jamie Madrox aka Multiple Man - He was never a member of the Brotherhood. he's an active member of X-Factor. not a villain. a good guy. wtf?!
8. Leech/Jimmy - in the x-universe his real name is unknown, he just goes by Leech. his powers are the same as in the movie, but in the comics he is a morlock, along with Callisto. he doesn't look anything like the boy in the movie. he's green for one thing, and looks more like a combo of a boy, a frog, and a fish. his powers have nothing to do with "the cure".
9. Jubilee - i felt bad for her. well known in the X-Universe as the rebellious teenager and Wolverine's favorite tagalong (tho in the movies she is replaced by Rogue), she is barely seen in all 3 movies. her appearances barely reach any further than cameo. poor girl. we never even get to see her powers! c'mon, you know you wanted to see her shoot some fireworks outta her hands!
10. Angel - other than the fact that his father created "the cure", what was his purpose in the movie? after seeing so many promos of him i expected more screentime...yea, not so much...we have a grand total of 5 scenes! only 2 in which he speaks: first, at the lab and second, when he seeks sanctuary at the Xavier Institute. Meanwhile, in x-history, angel was an original member of the x-men. again, marketing a strapping young lad to draw in more females to the x-audience... grr...
i'm combining Mystique and Rogue as they are my two favorite characters in the X-universe (in addition to Remy LeBeau aka Gambit, but thankfully, Singer and Ratner chose not to include him in their movies. Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! My heart just couldn't take it if you ruined him, too!)
11. Mystique - i love mystique. she is my favorite X-villain. i thought being forced to adjust to Singer's scaly version of Mystique was enough, but then they had to go and "cure" her early on in X3. while she was a devoted supporter of Magneto, sacrificing herself for him would not have been likely. she despised humans so much, why risk becoming one, even for Magneto? why, Mr. Ratner? why? and to you, Mr. Singer, completely ignoring the reason Rogue became an x-man in the first place!...
Rogue - the foster daughter of MYSTIQUE! originally a member of Mystique's Brotherhood of Evil Mutants! she fought side by side with mystique and pyro and all the others that aren't mentioned or seen in the movies. it was only after she realized mystique was using her for her powers that she went to Xavier for help and became a member of the X-Men...and she ALWAYS had that white streak in her hair. it was not from magneto...
while Singer destroyed her history (and her hair), Ratner completely decimated her character!
yes, in the comics, Rogue did leave the x-men in search of Dr. Adler and "the cure", but she decided against it and even destroyed the machine that could reverse the effects of the x-gene! she didn't do it!!! she couldn't!
...in the movie theater, as i watched Rogue's storyline unfold, my eyes swelled with tears as thoughts repeated "please, if you have any respect for this character, my favorite character, you won't do what i think you're gonna do to her."...
What does Ratner have her do? she leaves the x-men, takes the cure, and breaks my heart...
as if curing Mystique didn't hurt enough...
Singer had already tarnished Rogue by picking Anna Paquin, who couldn't even hold a southern accent, to play her. then ignored the relationship between Mystique and Rogue...
But Ratner...he had to take a character that i loved and related to on such an intense level, it's scary...and spit on her as he buried her and made her homosapien... in the x-universe, this would NEVER HAPPEN. EVER!
i would rather have seen Rogue die at the hands of Phoenix than see her take the easy way out...she's just not like that. Damn you, Brett Ratner. Damn you.
as for everyone else and the storyline...it wasn't bad, but it was shocking to see Cyclops die, then Xavier and all those other people, human and mutant alike. tho i wasn't exactly sad to see Cyclops go. comic Cyclops really was just as mopey as movie Cyclops...anyway...
I enjoyed Famke Janssen's portrayal of Jean Grey/Phoenix. i just didn't like the way the writers created Phoenix or the make-up of the Phoenix. Rather than the fiery blaze that surrounds phoenix in the comics, we got zombie phoenix with her kickass powers. the sfx were still cool, tho her power to disintegrate everything was a lil disturbing... but phoenix just looked weird everytime she went from jean grey, good to phoenix, evil. i'm reminded of when michael jackson turned zombie in thriller...yea, just like that...
Now, the story of the phoenix was a massive saga that Marvel even reapproached in recent years. it's probably one of the most well known x-stories ever created.
so here's the short summary: jean was captured by sentinels and taken to their space station. the x-men followed and saved her. when they tried to return to earth, Jean had to use her powers to shield their space shuttle from radiation. as she was dying from the poisonous radiation, the phoenix force approached her and offered to help, but not without a price. jean accepted and the phoenix duplicated jean's body, inhabiting the clone, as the original jean was placed in a cocoon. as the shuttle crashed into the ocean, the Phoenix emerged from the wreckage, assuming jean's identity. meanwhile, the original jean remained in the cocoon at the bottom of the ocean. eventually, original jean came back and there's a whole lot more story to it, but it's not necessary to get into.
it was an interesting approach, phoenix being an alternate personality, but it didn't work for me. just like it was an interesting approach using Leech as the main ingredient for "the cure".
all in all, it was a good movie, providing a shocking end to the trilogy. as long as i look at it as just another sci-fi movie, i am satisfied. but as an x-men comic geek, i am ashamed and thoroughly pissed off.
...here endeth my rant...
i'm not quite sure where to begin...there were so many disappointments.
i didn't hate the movie, but to appreciate it, i have to isolate it as the last chapter of a decent sci-fi trilogy, rather than think of it also as a comic adaptation. in case you didn't know, i am a HUGE X-Men fan. while it took some time to adjust to the changes made to some of my beloved characters (ESPECIALLY ROGUE!), i was actually satisfied with the first two X-films...X3? i can never forgive Brett Ratner for this one... he completely destroyed everything i grew up on. the movie left me broken and crying (seriously, i've never felt so betrayed about a comic movie before). the only good thing he had going for him was the brilliant casting of Kelsey Grammer as Henry McCoy aka Beast and including the "furball"'s trademark line, "Oh my stars and garters!". that one line made me smile while my heart was being crushed because of everything else that was happening during the movie.
also, as brief as her appearance was, i was pleased with the casting of Moira MacTaggert. Olivia Williams is quite possibly the perfect cast i've seen, as far as looks go, besides Patrick Stewart as Xavier. she was given only a couple lines but she made use of them and created a very believable Dr. Moira MacTaggert. Kudos, Ms. Williams!
ok...now for the list of disappointments.
let's start with the lack of CHARACTER INTEGRITY!
1. Storm - Halle Berry, what the fuck did you do to my Stormie?!?! Ororo Munroe aka Storm is looked upon as a Goddess. she is the epitome of elegance and wisdom and what do you do with her character? you give her that sorry metro haircut with black tinting, a whiney attitude towards "the cure" and completely drop your attempts at an ethnic accent (wait, maybe that's a good thing. at least you know you can't pull it off). you're supposed to be this amazing award-winning actress and yet you're too much of a diva to stay true to a simple comic book character without adding your diva flair to it. let it be known you are on my shit list for this.
2. Juggernaut - He is NOT A MUTANT! his power comes from a gem that transformed him into juggernaut and provides him with a protective helmet to prevent telepathic attacks from step-BROTHER, CHARLES XAVIER! for whatever reason, they chose to skip over that fact. much like how they skipped over the fact that Rogue is the adopted daughter of Mystique!...but we'll get to them later.
3. Colossus. oh, Colossus. since when are you an American? tho this issue sprouted from X2, i choose to address it now. Piotr "Peter" Nikolievitch Rasputin is a russian farmboy who has a deep relationship with Kitty Pride aka Shadowcat. i guess Bryan Singer decided to ignore Colossus' history and turned him into a strapping young American hunk...eye candy for the female audience...and gay? come to think of it, i don't remember Colossus having any speaking lines in X3. maybe an attempt to make up for one of Singer's "colossal" (yes, pun intended) mistakes?
4. Speaking of Kitty Pride... well.. honestly i didn't have much of a problem with this one other than she seemed so out of place and unnecessary. so just for trivia's sake her original codename was Ariel, followed by Sprite, and later on she adopted the codename, Shadowcat. everything else about kitty seemed close enough to the character for me. she's still a brainiac which was cool to see, however brief it was.
5. Iceman - tho Bobby Drake and Rogue did have a fling at one point in the comics, nothing became of their relationship past a solid friendship. Bobby was one of the original X-Men, known for being a wise guy and prankster. maybe Singer didn't like that about the original iceman and decided to make him the sensitive and caring fool he is in the movies. Ratner did little more for him.
6. Callisto - how does Ratner take a respected, deformed, tentacle-armed leader of the infamous Morlocks and turn her into a punk teenager with the additional power of superspeed? and then there's the whole Callisto vs. Storm thing. in the comics this feud was an integral part of storm's x-history , as she becomes the leader of the morlocks after defeating callisto in battle. in X3 - a shameful attempt at nodding to said x-history...shameful.
7. Jamie Madrox aka Multiple Man - He was never a member of the Brotherhood. he's an active member of X-Factor. not a villain. a good guy. wtf?!
8. Leech/Jimmy - in the x-universe his real name is unknown, he just goes by Leech. his powers are the same as in the movie, but in the comics he is a morlock, along with Callisto. he doesn't look anything like the boy in the movie. he's green for one thing, and looks more like a combo of a boy, a frog, and a fish. his powers have nothing to do with "the cure".
9. Jubilee - i felt bad for her. well known in the X-Universe as the rebellious teenager and Wolverine's favorite tagalong (tho in the movies she is replaced by Rogue), she is barely seen in all 3 movies. her appearances barely reach any further than cameo. poor girl. we never even get to see her powers! c'mon, you know you wanted to see her shoot some fireworks outta her hands!
10. Angel - other than the fact that his father created "the cure", what was his purpose in the movie? after seeing so many promos of him i expected more screentime...yea, not so much...we have a grand total of 5 scenes! only 2 in which he speaks: first, at the lab and second, when he seeks sanctuary at the Xavier Institute. Meanwhile, in x-history, angel was an original member of the x-men. again, marketing a strapping young lad to draw in more females to the x-audience... grr...
i'm combining Mystique and Rogue as they are my two favorite characters in the X-universe (in addition to Remy LeBeau aka Gambit, but thankfully, Singer and Ratner chose not to include him in their movies. Thank You! Thank You! Thank You! My heart just couldn't take it if you ruined him, too!)
11. Mystique - i love mystique. she is my favorite X-villain. i thought being forced to adjust to Singer's scaly version of Mystique was enough, but then they had to go and "cure" her early on in X3. while she was a devoted supporter of Magneto, sacrificing herself for him would not have been likely. she despised humans so much, why risk becoming one, even for Magneto? why, Mr. Ratner? why? and to you, Mr. Singer, completely ignoring the reason Rogue became an x-man in the first place!...
Rogue - the foster daughter of MYSTIQUE! originally a member of Mystique's Brotherhood of Evil Mutants! she fought side by side with mystique and pyro and all the others that aren't mentioned or seen in the movies. it was only after she realized mystique was using her for her powers that she went to Xavier for help and became a member of the X-Men...and she ALWAYS had that white streak in her hair. it was not from magneto...
while Singer destroyed her history (and her hair), Ratner completely decimated her character!
yes, in the comics, Rogue did leave the x-men in search of Dr. Adler and "the cure", but she decided against it and even destroyed the machine that could reverse the effects of the x-gene! she didn't do it!!! she couldn't!
...in the movie theater, as i watched Rogue's storyline unfold, my eyes swelled with tears as thoughts repeated "please, if you have any respect for this character, my favorite character, you won't do what i think you're gonna do to her."...
What does Ratner have her do? she leaves the x-men, takes the cure, and breaks my heart...
as if curing Mystique didn't hurt enough...
Singer had already tarnished Rogue by picking Anna Paquin, who couldn't even hold a southern accent, to play her. then ignored the relationship between Mystique and Rogue...
But Ratner...he had to take a character that i loved and related to on such an intense level, it's scary...and spit on her as he buried her and made her homosapien... in the x-universe, this would NEVER HAPPEN. EVER!
i would rather have seen Rogue die at the hands of Phoenix than see her take the easy way out...she's just not like that. Damn you, Brett Ratner. Damn you.
as for everyone else and the storyline...it wasn't bad, but it was shocking to see Cyclops die, then Xavier and all those other people, human and mutant alike. tho i wasn't exactly sad to see Cyclops go. comic Cyclops really was just as mopey as movie Cyclops...anyway...
I enjoyed Famke Janssen's portrayal of Jean Grey/Phoenix. i just didn't like the way the writers created Phoenix or the make-up of the Phoenix. Rather than the fiery blaze that surrounds phoenix in the comics, we got zombie phoenix with her kickass powers. the sfx were still cool, tho her power to disintegrate everything was a lil disturbing... but phoenix just looked weird everytime she went from jean grey, good to phoenix, evil. i'm reminded of when michael jackson turned zombie in thriller...yea, just like that...
Now, the story of the phoenix was a massive saga that Marvel even reapproached in recent years. it's probably one of the most well known x-stories ever created.
so here's the short summary: jean was captured by sentinels and taken to their space station. the x-men followed and saved her. when they tried to return to earth, Jean had to use her powers to shield their space shuttle from radiation. as she was dying from the poisonous radiation, the phoenix force approached her and offered to help, but not without a price. jean accepted and the phoenix duplicated jean's body, inhabiting the clone, as the original jean was placed in a cocoon. as the shuttle crashed into the ocean, the Phoenix emerged from the wreckage, assuming jean's identity. meanwhile, the original jean remained in the cocoon at the bottom of the ocean. eventually, original jean came back and there's a whole lot more story to it, but it's not necessary to get into.
it was an interesting approach, phoenix being an alternate personality, but it didn't work for me. just like it was an interesting approach using Leech as the main ingredient for "the cure".
all in all, it was a good movie, providing a shocking end to the trilogy. as long as i look at it as just another sci-fi movie, i am satisfied. but as an x-men comic geek, i am ashamed and thoroughly pissed off.
...here endeth my rant...