(no subject)
Its amazing how much one person can hurt you without ever knowing they are doing it....I have known him for years and yet we have so many secrets between us. There is so much insecurity and lying that i dont understand. Why is it that someone I am supposed to know so well is the hardest person to talk to about my problems with him? Why is someone who i am supposed to be so close to i have the hardest time talking to? It shouldnt be that hard to tell him what i think about keeping his relationship hidden from me, the fact that i think he takes advantage of me, and that our relationship has gone from anything but equal, that i feel as if it has become one sided. How can i tell him that he acts like an ass to me without even realizing it? why is it so difficult, if he is my friend, and he is someone that i am supposed to be so close to why am i having such a hard time to express my feelings to him...why am i so hurt that he does keep things from me..i have kept things from him in teh past how is this different..and dont many of my other friends have their own secrets one that they do not feel they are ready to share so they have not told me...and i am not hurt or upset by those people then why with this particular person? Why is it that after so long we can manage to have such an awkward conversation that it sounds as if two strangers were talking instead of two people who have seen each through everything? how can one person go from being an amazing guy one that i am so happy to have in my life to a complete ass hole in a matter of hours or days and which guy am i supposed to believe...the sweet and funny one or the ass hole? how much does my relationship/friendship really mean to him?