Aug 11, 2005 22:26
You know how at times you realize how you are sometimes and then you feel horrible because you know that you shouldnt be like that and you realize that you have taken everything you have for granted especially the most important things in your life.Well I have realized that I sometimes take Joe for granted..to be honest I feel like I ALWAYS take him for granted, and that he is so awesome by putting up with my crap.. and that I should put more effort into not getting mad at him and being a total bitch.. which I am most of the time. When we get into fights sometimes and we act like we hate eachother I feel like thats it, its will be over soon but before we get to that point we realize how it was a stupid fight and we make up and we love eachother again as we did..just seconds before we started arguing. There are times .. when I just get mad at him for NO REASON and he asks me to put some effort into not getting mad over nothing.. but I ignore him.. and just make things worse.. I swear sometimes I act like I just don't care AT ALL but I do.. OH! do I ever!.. Today I have come to realize that I'm Scared to be without him and I know thats not good but the situation was put in front of me today and I know I wouldnt be able to handle it.. and people tell me "Monica, relationships need breaks to work and to last" Everyone that has told me that .. I understand and I'm aware its just so hard .. just the thought of maybe not getting back together with him scares me. Why is it that we realize that we love someone even more than we could have ever imagined when we get the thought of losing them? and not being with them? throwing away everything you had with them away and how it'll will NEVER be the same with any other guy EVER . Why is it? because we take everything we have with them for granted we dont realize how good everything is.. .I guess the point is that I should be as good to Joe as he is to me. I LOVE JOE SOOOO MUCH! no one could ever realized or imagine how much I love him.I guess I just wanted him to know. How I'm sorry for being the way I am sometimes.. I'm so sorry baby! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! That's it for now. Goodnight. <3Monica