You want to jump and dance.. but you sat on your hands and lost your only chance
So, I finally got my computer back this morning... I am so happy for it. Now I can catch up on my paperwork. The apple fix-it people really are very good and sent it back like the same day, but this dang building I live in sucks because they can't leave packages if they can't get in. I finally caught the DHL guy though, and so I decided it would be a good idea to blog about the return of my baby. If this ever actually broke I would probably cry. Good thing it's covered!
Argh... anyways, I need to go to the hospital pretty soon. I actually started to look forward to going in, just because these damn birds are driving me nuts. I don't know how to get them to stop screaming. I gave them new food and water, but I can't yell at them. So, I'll leave instead, and maybe they will get tired of being loud.
I guess there's supposed to be another tornado here again today. This time I won't sit by my big sliding glass door... I think I learned my lesson from the last time.
But yeah...
I have been feeling so apathetic about pretty much everything lately. Not depressed or anything; I just kind of have the I-could-care-less feeling instead. I know that I need to get up some ambition very quickly, and study for this dang test that's coming up, but lately I really don't know why it all matters so darn much. I don't have any reason for working so hard. What the heck is the point of stressing yourself out during life, feeling shitty all the time, and then (woo) getting a job. I don't even want a job; well, except for the fact that it will get me out of going to school. But life just kind of sucks. I wish that I could just go back to being a kid again, maybe even for one day a week, stop going to school and stressing out of clinicals, spending my entire day at the hospital, and then going to work all night. Perhaps it's the lack of sleep, and the constant feeling of having so much to get done all the time that's killing me. Either way, I understand that I need to be able to some how, look on the bright side of things. I need to relax, get this crap finished.. and maybe after that, I may start to realize the point to life (which right now seems to be to be: work hard, work hard, work hard, get a job, work hard, die). That just doesn't really seem like too much fun to me. I want a fun job. I want to be swimming instructor forever. I could drop out of school and do that. :/
Alright, I'll stop complaining. I think I am going to go out and buy myself some new shoes before I go in to work today. That is one thing that always makes me feel better.. and even if this fake feeling of happiness over shoes does only last for 5 minutes, it will be worth it. I need a break.
It's almost summer... Maybe during the summer I will get some free time to think about my life.
Argh... anyways, I need to go to the hospital pretty soon. I actually started to look forward to going in, just because these damn birds are driving me nuts. I don't know how to get them to stop screaming. I gave them new food and water, but I can't yell at them. So, I'll leave instead, and maybe they will get tired of being loud.
I guess there's supposed to be another tornado here again today. This time I won't sit by my big sliding glass door... I think I learned my lesson from the last time.
But yeah...
I have been feeling so apathetic about pretty much everything lately. Not depressed or anything; I just kind of have the I-could-care-less feeling instead. I know that I need to get up some ambition very quickly, and study for this dang test that's coming up, but lately I really don't know why it all matters so darn much. I don't have any reason for working so hard. What the heck is the point of stressing yourself out during life, feeling shitty all the time, and then (woo) getting a job. I don't even want a job; well, except for the fact that it will get me out of going to school. But life just kind of sucks. I wish that I could just go back to being a kid again, maybe even for one day a week, stop going to school and stressing out of clinicals, spending my entire day at the hospital, and then going to work all night. Perhaps it's the lack of sleep, and the constant feeling of having so much to get done all the time that's killing me. Either way, I understand that I need to be able to some how, look on the bright side of things. I need to relax, get this crap finished.. and maybe after that, I may start to realize the point to life (which right now seems to be to be: work hard, work hard, work hard, get a job, work hard, die). That just doesn't really seem like too much fun to me. I want a fun job. I want to be swimming instructor forever. I could drop out of school and do that. :/
Alright, I'll stop complaining. I think I am going to go out and buy myself some new shoes before I go in to work today. That is one thing that always makes me feel better.. and even if this fake feeling of happiness over shoes does only last for 5 minutes, it will be worth it. I need a break.
It's almost summer... Maybe during the summer I will get some free time to think about my life.