(no subject)
this afternoon, i was writing a lj entry... detailing something that happened to me recently which i thought i'd like to share with you guys.. maybe you'd learn something from my experience.. and maybe in the future, be able to laugh about how dumb i was. but halfway thru writing it, i quit (cuz i had to leave for TO). and i'm glad i did. i don't want to share my story anymore.
and why is that? because i'm pissed. no not just pissed, mad. i am mad people will exploit others for no reason. i hate people who generalize things, and those who draw conclusions based on things they've heard from a secondary source. see at first, i put up entries for the world to see. just some general things that i don't mind sharing with basically anyone who's bored enough to venture into my lj. then i put up friends only entries, because some things i like to keep private, since i don't want strangers or like, friends of friends to judge me for what i say, because sometimes, people get wrong impressions of people. i may say something that is totally out of character and unless you really knew me, you would think i was saying the truth. now, i'm not so sure anymore about friends only entries. it was horrible, realizing that i was being judged by my own friends. i thought we were supposed to be able to be cool about what we do. i thought we were accepting. turns out, i still need to put up barriers. i have to be extra careful with my words and actions... because i never know when these things will be used against me.
if you're still interested about what happened... too bad. maybe if i still trust you, i'd tell you.
yeah i know i sound like a bitch. wait, i mean i AM a bitch. but i am sick and tired of being used and talked about behind my back. if you have something to say, then say it to my face. as a friend, the least you can do is to be honest about it.
and why is that? because i'm pissed. no not just pissed, mad. i am mad people will exploit others for no reason. i hate people who generalize things, and those who draw conclusions based on things they've heard from a secondary source. see at first, i put up entries for the world to see. just some general things that i don't mind sharing with basically anyone who's bored enough to venture into my lj. then i put up friends only entries, because some things i like to keep private, since i don't want strangers or like, friends of friends to judge me for what i say, because sometimes, people get wrong impressions of people. i may say something that is totally out of character and unless you really knew me, you would think i was saying the truth. now, i'm not so sure anymore about friends only entries. it was horrible, realizing that i was being judged by my own friends. i thought we were supposed to be able to be cool about what we do. i thought we were accepting. turns out, i still need to put up barriers. i have to be extra careful with my words and actions... because i never know when these things will be used against me.
if you're still interested about what happened... too bad. maybe if i still trust you, i'd tell you.
yeah i know i sound like a bitch. wait, i mean i AM a bitch. but i am sick and tired of being used and talked about behind my back. if you have something to say, then say it to my face. as a friend, the least you can do is to be honest about it.