Ho Ho No
A rollercoaster day.
Woke up this morning on my sister's couch with a cat on my face. Drove thirty minutes home from Dekalb (read: where???) to attend an ass-kissing brunch...I mean, a Christmas brunch...at the over-decorated home of a local judge. Who compulsively dresses up as Santa. And my mom made me kiss him. Creepy picture to come.
Received a heartfelt and upsetting gift from my ex-boyfriend on my doorstep. Awkward.
Attended an afternoon candlelight (oxymoron?) service at my parents' televised evangelical church (which is so immense that it's nicknamed "Six Flags Over Jesus"). The sermon contained a "Christmas has become like a college surprise party to which the guest of honor wasn't invited" allegory. Do those happen? Maybe if they did I would be more inclined to invite Jesus into my heart. Instead, I spent the service writing notes to my 7-year-old nephew about how Christian rituals descended from pagan practices. At least the music was pretty.
Subsequently ate an excellent steak dinner with my family. No complaints there.
Then I wrapped an armload of gifts for my family members. I must say that for being broke, I bought kick-ass gifts this year. Some of my neices and nephews are getting old/literate enough for me to pass on my favorite books from my youth, which is exciting. Huzzah Madeline L'Engle!
My mom is curently making Breakfast Morning Casserole. A few minutes ago, she panicked because she didn't have any dry mustard or Bisquik--and made me go over to the neighbors' at ten o'clock at night on Christmas Eve and borrow. They were all in their cute matching holiday pajamas.
The following is a transcription of my mom, who is directly behind me cooking, muttering to herself/me:
"Thank you so much, I don't know what I would have done without you tonight. Nobody's ever going to care about you like I do. Can't. Its impossible. See, I just don't know about this sausage in this casserole. I don't know what to. I just want to go to bed. I can't believe I screwed up the Christmas morning casserole--that is the worst thing. It is. Oh, SHIT! Nancy's Bisquick has bugs in it. Now what?? Oh. Christ was born in a stable and I feel like I'm dying. Something's wrong with this picture."
Well, she got the last part right. This woman gave birth to me.
I think I'm going to go read my book now. I'm in the middle of one of those books that's so good that I resent all the things that keep me from reading it--The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle. Reccomended by the illustrious Jeremy: "This book changed my life." Two thumbs up.
P.S. Jeremy--the ferret, obviously, is for you. <3
P.P.S. Why is thi evil computer picking random words in my livejournal and making them links to random retail sites??!?!?!