Someone Told Me I Was Sexy
Someone told me the other day that I was sexy... :) This might not seem all that breath-taking, but I have never been described as sexy before in my entire life. With the health problems that I have only recently put behind me, I have not exactly been the sort that would have been described as sexy.
It is an interesting idea. Are there really women out there that might think of me in a sexual way and want to snuggle up close? I find the possibility wonderful and exciting, but I am a little reluctant to believe it. After you have spent as long as I have just existing and wondering if life was worth living at all, it is hard to think in different terms. I tend to wonder if it might all just be imaginary. I don't want to think that it might be different only to get crushed by reality.
I have to admit it would be nice to have a woman snuggle up next to me and want to be close to me; someone who would lay her head on my chest while I read her "Winnie the Pooh" or something like that. Someone I could wrap my arms around at night and hold very close. I don't think I gave this subject a lot of thought when treatment started to turn my life around. I think I would have settled for peace and happiness.
I do think, though, that the desire to reach out to touch and be touched, both physically and emotionally, has been growing inside me this last year. I it is a significant part of my insecurity. I want to be close, but I have never seen myself as someone desirable. I am afraid of being hurt so I tend to shy away from people.
It is an interesting idea. Are there really women out there that might think of me in a sexual way and want to snuggle up close? I find the possibility wonderful and exciting, but I am a little reluctant to believe it. After you have spent as long as I have just existing and wondering if life was worth living at all, it is hard to think in different terms. I tend to wonder if it might all just be imaginary. I don't want to think that it might be different only to get crushed by reality.
I have to admit it would be nice to have a woman snuggle up next to me and want to be close to me; someone who would lay her head on my chest while I read her "Winnie the Pooh" or something like that. Someone I could wrap my arms around at night and hold very close. I don't think I gave this subject a lot of thought when treatment started to turn my life around. I think I would have settled for peace and happiness.
I do think, though, that the desire to reach out to touch and be touched, both physically and emotionally, has been growing inside me this last year. I it is a significant part of my insecurity. I want to be close, but I have never seen myself as someone desirable. I am afraid of being hurt so I tend to shy away from people.