I Hate To Be You (When You Don’t Love Me Anymore)
Title: I Hate To Be You (When You Don’t Love Me Anymore)
Pairings: EunHae
Chapters: 8/?
Genre: Angst, Romance, AU
Rating: PG
Warnings: Grammar mistakes, wrong usage of words. And this might suck because honestly, I’m not a good angst writer.
Disclaimer: Yes, i do own Lee Hyukjae and Lee Donghae... in my OWN WO'LD. So i don't own them in real life. T.T
Summary: Eunhyuk loves Donghae and only him. He was super happy when Donghae seems to feel the same way too. But everything seems to fall apart when Donghae suddenly left him behind. His life becomes a mess and the wound Donghae gave him is still not healing because it's been waiting for one and only one person who will heal the wound and kissed the pain away. Will he come back and alter the past? Or, stay a coward and leave his love all behind?
Author’s Note: an update..
♫♥♫
“As my heart stirs and jumps, as my stomach fills and bounce, as my eyes sparkle and glitter, as my mind went blank with nothing but your face, your soul, your heart inside, it made me realize my love for you never dies.” - M.G.M.N. - Lee
This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know…
- Far Away - Nickelback
♪♪♪♪
Eunhyuk decided that dreams and miracles are two different words as he takes his feet backwards and turn his back at Donghae and start to run away.
He finally saw him, right? So there’s no point in flying to him, embracing him tightly in his arms, kissing him tenderly and swirl him around like a crazy love addict that he was once before.
It was enough. Maybe.
♪♪♪♪
Donghae, on the other hand didn’t know what to do when Eunhyuk suddenly left after their most awaited reunion. He stood frozen on his spot but his eyes were still moving as he watches Eunhyuk run away from him, again.
“Sir?” Donghae heard someone asks and even tap his shoulders to wake him up. Yes. He was still alive.
“Aren’t you going to follow him, Sir?” The waiter asks and that made him look like a stupid fool for letting Eunhyuk go once again.
“I’m on it.” Donghae said and started running as well, much faster to catch his run away love. Eunhyuk can’t just leave him like that. After all this time of searching and finding, only one Noona can help him do what he must do for the past three years of finding Eunhyuk and he can’t just let it get away, no, not now.
For the past three years, though he know Eunhyuk knew he got no time to contact him back or even send him a letter, Sungmin, Eunhyuk’s best friend knew that it was all but lies. He tried to reach him, he tried to do his best to keep in touch with him, he even used his father’s connection but one bunny keeps on rejecting his sincere apologies. And he knew Sungmin never said one word about his letters to Eunhyuk and that’s maybe the truth. He doesn’t know why Sungmin did that until the last conversation they had before he concluded he doesn’t want him back in his best friend’s life. He had said these words that shot his heart down:
“I won’t let you see him. No, not even if you kill me, I won’t let you. I… I saw how Hyuk’s life got messed up because of you, and never will that mishap happen again, I assure you that. No Lee Donghae and not another Lee Donghae will ever hurt my best friend again. Arraso?”
Those words kill him down and lose his strength to fight. He wanted to still stand a fight but he got tangled on taking care of his sister’s wedding. Though, he doesn’t know why he didn’t meet Nari Noona back then, he doesn’t know why but maybe, God has other plans for him that time because that moment too, Yoona called him ‘Oppa’ in a brotherly way and even ask him to be his real brother.
“Oppa, I know this is an absurd and odd request, but the heck with it,” She smiled shyly. “I want you to be… my… brother… for real. So, can you be one?”
And all I can do was to say those words: “I am your brother.”
And that hurts like hell when she cried all her tears out in my arms on her wedding day.
But still up to this day, Yoona is still shy about calling him her real ‘Oppa’ and he just let her be. He can wait for it. It takes time to adjust on things like this, just like he did.
And after taking care of everything, everything he will leave in China, he went back to Korea, of course, to find Eunhyuk once again. And there, running away from him is the person he wanted to be with for the rest of his life. And of course, he just can’t let him get away.
He run as fast as his feet can and he knew how fit his body was. He’s prepared for this to happen so he readied himself for this kind of scenario that can only happen in dramas and movies. He was all but ready to see him once again.
He speeds up his motion to catch him up before he could even reach the pedestrian lane and he thanked God as he did. He then pulled Eunhyuk back and wraps him inside his arms.
“Finally,” He said as he catches up his breath. “I found you.” He then smiled victoriously.
♪♪♪♪
Eunhyuk was ready to cross the lane when the green light lighted up. He even thank God for letting him get away from Donghae that fast. But before he could even lay his foot to cross, someone pulled him back at the sidewalk and traps him in its arms. And as much as he wanted to think it wasn’t Donghae, his familiar scent tells him it really was him. He even gasps as he heard his voice and the vibration of his voice in his chest as he spoke.
“Finally, I found you.”
And he knew for some reason that Donghae was smiling right now. He just knew it. His voice tells it so. And he should be happy that he’s inside Donghae’s arms so why his tears started to fall one by one?
He sniffled and buried his face on Donghae’s chest even more when the latter tries to meet his face up. He wasn’t ready yet. No, he wasn’t.
♪♪♪♪
“Hyukkie…” Donghae called and lift Eunhyuk’s face up but the latter even buried his face on his chest. And he feels his shirt started to get wet as Eunhyuk’s started to fill it up with tears.
“Hyukkie, look at me.” He pleaded and God only knows how much he wanted to see his face this close, an inch apart. “Hyukkie,” He called again with pleading tone and he smiled when Eunhyuk finally lift his face filled with wet tears and stares at him with confused eyes.
♪♪♪♪
“H-Hae…” Eunhyuk called as he lifts his face up and he doesn’t know why he saw how Donghae’s eyes longs for him. It was all visible and he just can’t believe it.
“Hyukkie,” Donghae called.
“Hae…” Eunhyuk shyly called as his cheeks puffed up in pink.
“Let’s get out of here,” Donghae said before he smiled widely. “Everyone’s looking at us.” He finishes before he took Eunhyuk’s hand and walks away from the crowd.
♪♪♪♪
It feels surreal. He felt he was not in his own world anymore but in Donghae’s as the latter’s hand intertwined with his’, his body was close to his’, approximately a strand apart. His lips, kept whispering on his ears, the word he really missed: Hyukkie, Hyukkie.
He was still confused. He was drowning and obviously drunk on everything that happened. It came too fast. It moves pass forward but the pace was in slow motion. It was just surreal, too surreal. But he began loosening up as soon as he felt Donghae squeezed his hand lightly and smiled at him.
And the dark world he was in was making an effort to flee and the sunshine tinge in broad daylight, lighting up his hollowed heart and colored it with blood beating red as it beats for Donghae once more.
Yeah… his heart was beating once more… And Donghae was the only who can make his heart jitter in love.
♪♪♪♪
Donghae doesn’t know what to do and just let his heart do all the works. His mind was empty with only Eunhyuk in it.
It was his heart that made Eunhyuk to come with him after their movie-like scene. It was his heart that made his hand intertwined with Eunhyuk’s shaky ones.
It was his heart that made his lips speaks Eunhyuk’s nickname repeatedly on his ears.
And it was Eunhyuk that made his heart beat his name over and over again.
♪♪♪♪
“Where do you want to go, Hyukkie?” Donghae asks, whispering on his ears.
“Home,” Eunhyuk mumbled.
“Arrasso, Hyukkie.” Donghae smiled. ‘Your wish is my command.’ He whispered to himself.
And they started walking in silence though the awkwardness wasn’t present, only love was in the air and the longing and all together, it makes the madness and hatred disappear.
“H-Hae,” Eunhyuk then called Donghae after walking half an hour already.
“What is it Hyukkie?” Donghae stops on his trance and looks at Eunhyuk, bowing his head so low.
“C-carry me…” Eunhyuk mumbled and Donghae just stood there frozen.
When Eunhyuk felt that Donghae didn’t move, he lifts his face up and saw Donghae smiled before carrying him bride-style.
“I’m sorry, Hyukkie. I was too absorbed-“
“Ssh,” Eunhyuk shuts him up by pressing his pointing finger on Donghae’s lips lightly. He snuggled closer on the crook of Donghae’s neck and smelled his scent he missed so dearly. “I’m going to sleep.” He mumbled.
Donghae nodded lightly and move Eunhyuk’s body into a comfortable position and walks towards their house, after.
♪♪♪♪
He was humming Nickelback’s song far away, a perfect song for their most awaited reunion. He was singing as he helps Eunhyuk sleep in his arms and he can’t help but to repeat the second verse, which was exactly what he thinks, every time he’ll think about finding him.
Yes. He was on his knees begging for forgiveness and for a second chance at shot with Eunhyuk. And yes. He’ll do everything now that he got courage to fight him against everything that will stop him from doing so. He will do everything even if it kills him to death and nothing and no one can ever stop him. Not even the pink bunny himself. Eunhyuk’s letting him inside his life once more is more than enough to make him live and be alive once again.
“Hyukkie,” He mumbled while walking. “I don’t know what will happen tomorrow. If this was a dream, I don’t want to wake up anymore. If this wasn’t, then I believe tomorrow’s gonna be a hard day for both of us.” His tears suddenly fell and he wasn’t sure he was crying.
“I don’t know… if things will be easy like this… understanding each other without using the words we both don’t have to hear.” He smiled bitterly. “I just wish you wouldn’t run away from me ever again or I will… because I can’t take it any longer. Sungmin was enough to take you away from me. My father was enough to make my burden disappear. I just need you, Hyukkie. I need you.”
They were more than enough to stop him from doing what he must do. Eunhyuk’s more than enough to fight him over. And he will, now that he’s inside his arms. Definitely, this is it.
♪♪♪♪
When the house was beginning to be visible on his sight, he stood in front of it after and stared, reminiscing back the past with loneliness and bitter smile.
“Hyukkie,” He called and kiss Eunhyuk’s forehead. “Do you remember I used to kiss your forehead whenever we arrived from home? And every time, I always tell you: We’re home; and you would smile at me and nod before going inside. Do you remember?” He looks at their home once again before going into the front door and opens it to be in shock at their now tidy house. His lips formed a smile after and glanced at the sleeping figure inside his arms and kissed the top of his crimson hair thankfully.
“Hyukkie… we’re home.”
♪♪♪♪
He felt so light, burden free as he felt warm arms wrapped around his body. He felt contended and glad to feel nothing else but love. Love, that sleeps for three years inside his heart. Love, that only one guy can be able to beat his heart with so much blood. And Love that he has been longing for every day, every night in his sleep and whenever he stops and daydreams.
Donghae. Lee Donghae. The guy who seemed locked up inside his heart but was now freed because… it was time to let the sinner be judge in front of his jury heart.
♪♪♪♪
I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
♫♥♫
Pairings: EunHae
Chapters: 8/?
Genre: Angst, Romance, AU
Rating: PG
Warnings: Grammar mistakes, wrong usage of words. And this might suck because honestly, I’m not a good angst writer.
Disclaimer: Yes, i do own Lee Hyukjae and Lee Donghae... in my OWN WO'LD. So i don't own them in real life. T.T
Summary: Eunhyuk loves Donghae and only him. He was super happy when Donghae seems to feel the same way too. But everything seems to fall apart when Donghae suddenly left him behind. His life becomes a mess and the wound Donghae gave him is still not healing because it's been waiting for one and only one person who will heal the wound and kissed the pain away. Will he come back and alter the past? Or, stay a coward and leave his love all behind?
Author’s Note: an update..
♫♥♫
“As my heart stirs and jumps, as my stomach fills and bounce, as my eyes sparkle and glitter, as my mind went blank with nothing but your face, your soul, your heart inside, it made me realize my love for you never dies.” - M.G.M.N. - Lee
This time, This place
Misused, Mistakes
Too long, Too late
Who was I to make you wait
Just one chance
Just one breath
Just in case there's just one left
'Cause you know,
you know, you know…
- Far Away - Nickelback
♪♪♪♪
Eunhyuk decided that dreams and miracles are two different words as he takes his feet backwards and turn his back at Donghae and start to run away.
He finally saw him, right? So there’s no point in flying to him, embracing him tightly in his arms, kissing him tenderly and swirl him around like a crazy love addict that he was once before.
It was enough. Maybe.
♪♪♪♪
Donghae, on the other hand didn’t know what to do when Eunhyuk suddenly left after their most awaited reunion. He stood frozen on his spot but his eyes were still moving as he watches Eunhyuk run away from him, again.
“Sir?” Donghae heard someone asks and even tap his shoulders to wake him up. Yes. He was still alive.
“Aren’t you going to follow him, Sir?” The waiter asks and that made him look like a stupid fool for letting Eunhyuk go once again.
“I’m on it.” Donghae said and started running as well, much faster to catch his run away love. Eunhyuk can’t just leave him like that. After all this time of searching and finding, only one Noona can help him do what he must do for the past three years of finding Eunhyuk and he can’t just let it get away, no, not now.
For the past three years, though he know Eunhyuk knew he got no time to contact him back or even send him a letter, Sungmin, Eunhyuk’s best friend knew that it was all but lies. He tried to reach him, he tried to do his best to keep in touch with him, he even used his father’s connection but one bunny keeps on rejecting his sincere apologies. And he knew Sungmin never said one word about his letters to Eunhyuk and that’s maybe the truth. He doesn’t know why Sungmin did that until the last conversation they had before he concluded he doesn’t want him back in his best friend’s life. He had said these words that shot his heart down:
“I won’t let you see him. No, not even if you kill me, I won’t let you. I… I saw how Hyuk’s life got messed up because of you, and never will that mishap happen again, I assure you that. No Lee Donghae and not another Lee Donghae will ever hurt my best friend again. Arraso?”
Those words kill him down and lose his strength to fight. He wanted to still stand a fight but he got tangled on taking care of his sister’s wedding. Though, he doesn’t know why he didn’t meet Nari Noona back then, he doesn’t know why but maybe, God has other plans for him that time because that moment too, Yoona called him ‘Oppa’ in a brotherly way and even ask him to be his real brother.
“Oppa, I know this is an absurd and odd request, but the heck with it,” She smiled shyly. “I want you to be… my… brother… for real. So, can you be one?”
And all I can do was to say those words: “I am your brother.”
And that hurts like hell when she cried all her tears out in my arms on her wedding day.
But still up to this day, Yoona is still shy about calling him her real ‘Oppa’ and he just let her be. He can wait for it. It takes time to adjust on things like this, just like he did.
And after taking care of everything, everything he will leave in China, he went back to Korea, of course, to find Eunhyuk once again. And there, running away from him is the person he wanted to be with for the rest of his life. And of course, he just can’t let him get away.
He run as fast as his feet can and he knew how fit his body was. He’s prepared for this to happen so he readied himself for this kind of scenario that can only happen in dramas and movies. He was all but ready to see him once again.
He speeds up his motion to catch him up before he could even reach the pedestrian lane and he thanked God as he did. He then pulled Eunhyuk back and wraps him inside his arms.
“Finally,” He said as he catches up his breath. “I found you.” He then smiled victoriously.
♪♪♪♪
Eunhyuk was ready to cross the lane when the green light lighted up. He even thank God for letting him get away from Donghae that fast. But before he could even lay his foot to cross, someone pulled him back at the sidewalk and traps him in its arms. And as much as he wanted to think it wasn’t Donghae, his familiar scent tells him it really was him. He even gasps as he heard his voice and the vibration of his voice in his chest as he spoke.
“Finally, I found you.”
And he knew for some reason that Donghae was smiling right now. He just knew it. His voice tells it so. And he should be happy that he’s inside Donghae’s arms so why his tears started to fall one by one?
He sniffled and buried his face on Donghae’s chest even more when the latter tries to meet his face up. He wasn’t ready yet. No, he wasn’t.
♪♪♪♪
“Hyukkie…” Donghae called and lift Eunhyuk’s face up but the latter even buried his face on his chest. And he feels his shirt started to get wet as Eunhyuk’s started to fill it up with tears.
“Hyukkie, look at me.” He pleaded and God only knows how much he wanted to see his face this close, an inch apart. “Hyukkie,” He called again with pleading tone and he smiled when Eunhyuk finally lift his face filled with wet tears and stares at him with confused eyes.
♪♪♪♪
“H-Hae…” Eunhyuk called as he lifts his face up and he doesn’t know why he saw how Donghae’s eyes longs for him. It was all visible and he just can’t believe it.
“Hyukkie,” Donghae called.
“Hae…” Eunhyuk shyly called as his cheeks puffed up in pink.
“Let’s get out of here,” Donghae said before he smiled widely. “Everyone’s looking at us.” He finishes before he took Eunhyuk’s hand and walks away from the crowd.
♪♪♪♪
It feels surreal. He felt he was not in his own world anymore but in Donghae’s as the latter’s hand intertwined with his’, his body was close to his’, approximately a strand apart. His lips, kept whispering on his ears, the word he really missed: Hyukkie, Hyukkie.
He was still confused. He was drowning and obviously drunk on everything that happened. It came too fast. It moves pass forward but the pace was in slow motion. It was just surreal, too surreal. But he began loosening up as soon as he felt Donghae squeezed his hand lightly and smiled at him.
And the dark world he was in was making an effort to flee and the sunshine tinge in broad daylight, lighting up his hollowed heart and colored it with blood beating red as it beats for Donghae once more.
Yeah… his heart was beating once more… And Donghae was the only who can make his heart jitter in love.
♪♪♪♪
Donghae doesn’t know what to do and just let his heart do all the works. His mind was empty with only Eunhyuk in it.
It was his heart that made Eunhyuk to come with him after their movie-like scene. It was his heart that made his hand intertwined with Eunhyuk’s shaky ones.
It was his heart that made his lips speaks Eunhyuk’s nickname repeatedly on his ears.
And it was Eunhyuk that made his heart beat his name over and over again.
♪♪♪♪
“Where do you want to go, Hyukkie?” Donghae asks, whispering on his ears.
“Home,” Eunhyuk mumbled.
“Arrasso, Hyukkie.” Donghae smiled. ‘Your wish is my command.’ He whispered to himself.
And they started walking in silence though the awkwardness wasn’t present, only love was in the air and the longing and all together, it makes the madness and hatred disappear.
“H-Hae,” Eunhyuk then called Donghae after walking half an hour already.
“What is it Hyukkie?” Donghae stops on his trance and looks at Eunhyuk, bowing his head so low.
“C-carry me…” Eunhyuk mumbled and Donghae just stood there frozen.
When Eunhyuk felt that Donghae didn’t move, he lifts his face up and saw Donghae smiled before carrying him bride-style.
“I’m sorry, Hyukkie. I was too absorbed-“
“Ssh,” Eunhyuk shuts him up by pressing his pointing finger on Donghae’s lips lightly. He snuggled closer on the crook of Donghae’s neck and smelled his scent he missed so dearly. “I’m going to sleep.” He mumbled.
Donghae nodded lightly and move Eunhyuk’s body into a comfortable position and walks towards their house, after.
♪♪♪♪
He was humming Nickelback’s song far away, a perfect song for their most awaited reunion. He was singing as he helps Eunhyuk sleep in his arms and he can’t help but to repeat the second verse, which was exactly what he thinks, every time he’ll think about finding him.
Yes. He was on his knees begging for forgiveness and for a second chance at shot with Eunhyuk. And yes. He’ll do everything now that he got courage to fight him against everything that will stop him from doing so. He will do everything even if it kills him to death and nothing and no one can ever stop him. Not even the pink bunny himself. Eunhyuk’s letting him inside his life once more is more than enough to make him live and be alive once again.
“Hyukkie,” He mumbled while walking. “I don’t know what will happen tomorrow. If this was a dream, I don’t want to wake up anymore. If this wasn’t, then I believe tomorrow’s gonna be a hard day for both of us.” His tears suddenly fell and he wasn’t sure he was crying.
“I don’t know… if things will be easy like this… understanding each other without using the words we both don’t have to hear.” He smiled bitterly. “I just wish you wouldn’t run away from me ever again or I will… because I can’t take it any longer. Sungmin was enough to take you away from me. My father was enough to make my burden disappear. I just need you, Hyukkie. I need you.”
They were more than enough to stop him from doing what he must do. Eunhyuk’s more than enough to fight him over. And he will, now that he’s inside his arms. Definitely, this is it.
♪♪♪♪
When the house was beginning to be visible on his sight, he stood in front of it after and stared, reminiscing back the past with loneliness and bitter smile.
“Hyukkie,” He called and kiss Eunhyuk’s forehead. “Do you remember I used to kiss your forehead whenever we arrived from home? And every time, I always tell you: We’re home; and you would smile at me and nod before going inside. Do you remember?” He looks at their home once again before going into the front door and opens it to be in shock at their now tidy house. His lips formed a smile after and glanced at the sleeping figure inside his arms and kissed the top of his crimson hair thankfully.
“Hyukkie… we’re home.”
♪♪♪♪
He felt so light, burden free as he felt warm arms wrapped around his body. He felt contended and glad to feel nothing else but love. Love, that sleeps for three years inside his heart. Love, that only one guy can be able to beat his heart with so much blood. And Love that he has been longing for every day, every night in his sleep and whenever he stops and daydreams.
Donghae. Lee Donghae. The guy who seemed locked up inside his heart but was now freed because… it was time to let the sinner be judge in front of his jury heart.
♪♪♪♪
I wanted
I wanted you to stay
'Cause I needed
I need to hear you say
♫♥♫