"Hello, Pickle-Head"
Whenever a cashier tells Daniel that his total is between ten and nineteen dollars, he says "Ah, the year that I was born." Let me make sure we're all perfectly clear on how the joke works:
CASHIER: That'll be seventeen fifty-nine.
DANIEL: Ah, the year that I was born.
Smashing good fun, right? Even when the cashier doesn't chuckle, some other customer, or at least me, always appreciates it. So, today, I tried it on for size at CVS.
DAGGER-EYED CASHIER: That'll be nineteen thirty-nine.
EMILY: [very bright] Ah, the year that I was born!
DAGGER-EYED CVS CASHIER: [Eyes rapidly turn three times as daggerish. Said in a completely steely voice] Well, actually, it's the year that I was born. [Wordlessly hands Emily her change and glares.]
EMILY: [dies]
I babysat this week, for a family that is constantly rhapsodizing about my kind-hearted overall excellence, simply because I put away their dishes a few times without being asked. I also made the mistake of playing The Secret Garden soundtrack in the car with the kids once, which has resulted in me having to listen to it all the way through every single time I see them. When we finally got a quiet moment, of course, I had it in my head, and basically defaulted burst into song. The kids wandered in, and when I was finished, the five-year-old said, "Emily, you come and make my parents happy and you sing all the time...you're like Mary Poppins!"
Y'all dance with me now.
Also, to those who inquired about my last entry: I'm a research analyst for an upstart management consulting firm. Good evening!
Emily
CASHIER: That'll be seventeen fifty-nine.
DANIEL: Ah, the year that I was born.
Smashing good fun, right? Even when the cashier doesn't chuckle, some other customer, or at least me, always appreciates it. So, today, I tried it on for size at CVS.
DAGGER-EYED CASHIER: That'll be nineteen thirty-nine.
EMILY: [very bright] Ah, the year that I was born!
DAGGER-EYED CVS CASHIER: [Eyes rapidly turn three times as daggerish. Said in a completely steely voice] Well, actually, it's the year that I was born. [Wordlessly hands Emily her change and glares.]
EMILY: [dies]
I babysat this week, for a family that is constantly rhapsodizing about my kind-hearted overall excellence, simply because I put away their dishes a few times without being asked. I also made the mistake of playing The Secret Garden soundtrack in the car with the kids once, which has resulted in me having to listen to it all the way through every single time I see them. When we finally got a quiet moment, of course, I had it in my head, and basically defaulted burst into song. The kids wandered in, and when I was finished, the five-year-old said, "Emily, you come and make my parents happy and you sing all the time...you're like Mary Poppins!"
Y'all dance with me now.
Also, to those who inquired about my last entry: I'm a research analyst for an upstart management consulting firm. Good evening!
Emily