(no subject)
I hate them for what they did to me
And I hate them for what they did the her
I hate you for leaving me
Even if it's just for a few hours
I clung to him because you weren't there
And I clung to you when you were here
You looked in my eyes and knew I was crying
And dieing
And lying they whole damn time
The cops didn't help me
And the locks don't make me feel safe
The blinds are drawn but I can still feel the eyes
And the voices right outside
The gun on my bed really wont help
But you still left me here
Totally alone to fend for myself
Your own cowardice is keeping me here
Locked in a room with everything to fear
You gave me a cigarette
After you smoked all mine
Like it was the key to leave it all behind
You knew I was hurt
And I told you I didn't want to be alone
Like they say this house really isn't a home
I'm still horror struck by what happened.
That it happened in my neighbor hood,
to my house.
And she doesn't get it, I can't be alone right now.
I can't believe that it happened to me.
All the girls say "I felt so violated, I didn't feel like I could get clean."
The shower is the last place I want to be right now.
I was fine after it happened because Nikki was there,
But after sleeping alone for the first time in like a month,
I freaked out.
She would leave me fucking alone the first night I REALLY needed someone there.
And tonight isn't going to be any better.
My mother isn't that scary,
She's crazy for sure.
But not that scary.
No reason to run at the mention of her.
I really don't get any of it.
I just don't want to be alone.