How much longer? Yup another rant...how fuckin predictable
I am soooooo tired of this. Coming home is becoming more and more difficult. Yelling every morning, noon and night. It's like he feeds off it. Have you ever wondered what it's like to hear a yelling match every single fuckin' night between your parents...it's been 17 3/4 years and there has not been one night when my dad's home that there is peace. I'm just so exhausted, frustrated...I really feel like I might just blow at any moment. I've always just blown it off, or cried...but right now I'm just filled with so much, I don't know what. Don't they ever consider how this affects us?...well me since I'm the only left at home. Don't they ever think, maybe just maybe this isn't what I need or want. I can not even begin to explain how much it consumes me, I just wanna say "Shut the Fuck up! What is wrong with you? If you're not happy then leave!" And the thing is...I know he's happy, he could not ask for anymore then he has and still he finds reasons to scream and yell and rant. Give it a fuckin' rest...What is the point??? I don't want to have anything to do with him. I just want to say goodbye and never see him again. I know everyone thinks, ya you say that now, but you'll regret it...but I won't. I don't think I would ever think twice...
And he yells for the stupidest reasons! It's almost amazing...it's like how can someone ruin everyone's mood for the most little insignificant reasons. So get this, my mom bought a spray for the bathroom and he doesn't like the smell so he yells for about ten minutes about how much he doesn't like it and what she should've bought......if you don't like it why don't you get your fuckin lazy ass up and get it yourself?!?!? That's always the case he makes her do all the shopping and the work and then complains about it....whatever happened to if you want something done right do it yourself. Well with my dad it's if you want something done right, blame the person that got it wrong, make them feel like shit and then make them get it right. And it's not even "right" it's just what he thinks is "right"...I've never met someone so stubborn and self-centered...
I hate it here. I've never hated a situation so much. I've never bitched so much. I've never had so much to bitch about...I hate complaining...and yet that's all I ever seem to do.
I can't believe I hate my own home, the one place you are supposed to feel most comfortable and most at peace I always feel anxious and edgy. I'm always waiting to hear about something I've done wrong...waiting to here him yell at me for not picking up the phone on the first ring, waiting...it seems like I've been doing it my whole life...just waiting, waiting for something, for someone, for a feeling, for a break, for love, for happiness, for loneliness, for companionship, for loyalty, for heartbreak, for disaster, for him, for anything and everything
And he yells for the stupidest reasons! It's almost amazing...it's like how can someone ruin everyone's mood for the most little insignificant reasons. So get this, my mom bought a spray for the bathroom and he doesn't like the smell so he yells for about ten minutes about how much he doesn't like it and what she should've bought......if you don't like it why don't you get your fuckin lazy ass up and get it yourself?!?!? That's always the case he makes her do all the shopping and the work and then complains about it....whatever happened to if you want something done right do it yourself. Well with my dad it's if you want something done right, blame the person that got it wrong, make them feel like shit and then make them get it right. And it's not even "right" it's just what he thinks is "right"...I've never met someone so stubborn and self-centered...
I hate it here. I've never hated a situation so much. I've never bitched so much. I've never had so much to bitch about...I hate complaining...and yet that's all I ever seem to do.
I can't believe I hate my own home, the one place you are supposed to feel most comfortable and most at peace I always feel anxious and edgy. I'm always waiting to hear about something I've done wrong...waiting to here him yell at me for not picking up the phone on the first ring, waiting...it seems like I've been doing it my whole life...just waiting, waiting for something, for someone, for a feeling, for a break, for love, for happiness, for loneliness, for companionship, for loyalty, for heartbreak, for disaster, for him, for anything and everything