In the absence of reality, consider this ephemerally nailed to a church door of your imagination.
In view of it being International Women's Day today I have decided to take a break from my perpetual state of amusement and contempt for you people to grace you with a taste of my abounding intellect. I wish to pontificate on the subject of the weaker sex. Note then, that I do not say 'fairer sex' - indeed I am far more fair than any woman - but instead emphasize the more discriminatory epithet. The discerning reader will already have ascertained that this is to be the subject of my all-too-brief homily: the inherent valuelessness of women.
But wait, wise one, I hear you cry. Women provide a valuable assistance, for without them men would have to clean and cook themselves - an act which goes sorely against the grain of masculinity. Indeed, for a man to undertake women's 'work' (note, gentle reader, that I use the word 'work' in the loosest sense of the term and in no way mean to accord it the same status as actual travail that a man undertakes every day) is so contrary to the dictates of reason and nature that any thinking entity would recoil at the very thought. But fear not, for the perpetual advance of technological miracles is such that already we have robots to clean the floor and sweep up - far superior to women in that they lack ability to complain. I can see in my mind's eye a brave new world, a veritable utopia where machines bring infants to term, cook food and clean up without any of the distasteful accompaniment usually provided by those unfortunate individuals cursed with a less beneficial gender.
Those among you more predisposed to criticism are no doubt scoffing at this point behind their hands and preparing to deliver (with what I do not doubt to be the most scathing turn of phrase) condescending remarks upon "other uses" women may have. Be assured that I have not neglected what is - for some individuals - the most important function of women: fornication. It is true that lack of women will result in an epidemic of athlete's hand and wrist injuries, but swift introduction of fleshlights and inflatable persons will serve directly to curb this regrettable malady. Indeed, the only question is whether such a loss is justified by the positive elements of a decision of this nature. To my more-than-adequate mind, the removal of a constant stream of vitriol and complaints, the ever-increasing burden of guilt that women attempt to foist upon their betters and the never-ending trivial requests to do such superficial things as may occur to the often incomprehensible mind of their gender. (Note that incomprehensible does not presume the existence of an object, and semantically is indistinguishable from 'imaginary'.
And so, attentive reader, I leave you with what I hope is a compelling argument. A final point to sway the otherwise-unconvinced peruser of my dissertation: consider the role pornographic materiel can, and indeed must, play in my utopia. Flesh-and-blood women, unlike their photographic counterparts, have the regrettable ability to demonstrate their similarity of intellect to said counterpart.
But wait, wise one, I hear you cry. Women provide a valuable assistance, for without them men would have to clean and cook themselves - an act which goes sorely against the grain of masculinity. Indeed, for a man to undertake women's 'work' (note, gentle reader, that I use the word 'work' in the loosest sense of the term and in no way mean to accord it the same status as actual travail that a man undertakes every day) is so contrary to the dictates of reason and nature that any thinking entity would recoil at the very thought. But fear not, for the perpetual advance of technological miracles is such that already we have robots to clean the floor and sweep up - far superior to women in that they lack ability to complain. I can see in my mind's eye a brave new world, a veritable utopia where machines bring infants to term, cook food and clean up without any of the distasteful accompaniment usually provided by those unfortunate individuals cursed with a less beneficial gender.
Those among you more predisposed to criticism are no doubt scoffing at this point behind their hands and preparing to deliver (with what I do not doubt to be the most scathing turn of phrase) condescending remarks upon "other uses" women may have. Be assured that I have not neglected what is - for some individuals - the most important function of women: fornication. It is true that lack of women will result in an epidemic of athlete's hand and wrist injuries, but swift introduction of fleshlights and inflatable persons will serve directly to curb this regrettable malady. Indeed, the only question is whether such a loss is justified by the positive elements of a decision of this nature. To my more-than-adequate mind, the removal of a constant stream of vitriol and complaints, the ever-increasing burden of guilt that women attempt to foist upon their betters and the never-ending trivial requests to do such superficial things as may occur to the often incomprehensible mind of their gender. (Note that incomprehensible does not presume the existence of an object, and semantically is indistinguishable from 'imaginary'.
And so, attentive reader, I leave you with what I hope is a compelling argument. A final point to sway the otherwise-unconvinced peruser of my dissertation: consider the role pornographic materiel can, and indeed must, play in my utopia. Flesh-and-blood women, unlike their photographic counterparts, have the regrettable ability to demonstrate their similarity of intellect to said counterpart.