(no subject)
So here I am, single again. I my last relationship ended in August; it is now December and I feel like I'm starting to become a better person, to learn and grow and try to not be so hurt by the past. I've been focusing a lot on myself and have been trying to make changes in my life to spice things up a bit. If I go out to the bars I tend to stay close to my friends and am wary of men talking to me. I am reading more and enjoying music and cooking and movies more. I even ate beef for the first time in seven years! Unfortunately I am still smoking (going on a year and a half now..ouch). I am trying to indulge myself if the little things, trying to keep my room clean, trying to keep my friends close. For the first time in a long while I feel like my life is not just about getting fucked up; it's more enjoyable to have a couple beers (or one!) or a glass of wine with dinner and remember my night. I think for me it takes a few mistakes to understand how to pull myself together, especially after a breakup. In the last four months I have slept with three guys and made out with many, but I feel like cutting out the irresponsible drinking will also avoid things like that happening...especially with people I don't care about and that don't care about me. I strive to become an interesting person, and I really want to learn something from my sadness. The only way to get out of a slump is to force yourself to try new things, to force yourself to get out of bed every morning. The Very Last Thing on my mind is dating, and I am happier that way. I just don't think I can handle the disappointment any more; I now have a list of things that are must-haves if I am going to date anyone. They must be a non-smoker, non-alcoholic, have a job, be going to school or are out of school, be single, be 23-30, nice, funny, respectful, have some chivalry, and I HAVE TO GET TO KNOW THEM FIRST without doing ANYTHING.
Singing off.
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Singing off.
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