it's all fun and games...
yes, tonight was the 4th installment of super ultra happy fun night--and it was in many ways that. there was an extra special event of curry actually spitting ice coffee across the table at greta. i had only seen this in movies, but actually spat-sprayed it and cried i was laughing so hard. she is one of the best people you could ever meet in the world.
hit the mt scott pub and met jay up there. bad, bad pool was played and beer and curly fries were consumed. basically good times, great oldies. and a russian guy.
then we're smoking on jay's porch and i start dissecting. and as i drive home this evening i'm wondering why i do this. it's not all the time that i do this, but i have done this on numerous occasions. something just clicks and i start, in a non threatening way, questioning. it's odd but i feel like he had it coming if that makes sense. he's a grown man about my age, and some of the responses he had to my questions made me feel like i was talking to one of my clients at work. i guess there in lies my answer. it's that death wish. not vocal, just something you act out every day. not really wanting to die, just to challenge it. when you are a kid, an adolescent, it's part of growing up to challenge that--to feel immortal. but then we get creaky joints and mortgage payments. we form deeper bonds with people. little things don't hurt us like when we were young. maybe loving life is easier than we think but as simple as living it.
all this strand over me worrying about breaking down jay.
ok, little drunk and disjointed as i write this but maybe it makes some sort of sense...
hit the mt scott pub and met jay up there. bad, bad pool was played and beer and curly fries were consumed. basically good times, great oldies. and a russian guy.
then we're smoking on jay's porch and i start dissecting. and as i drive home this evening i'm wondering why i do this. it's not all the time that i do this, but i have done this on numerous occasions. something just clicks and i start, in a non threatening way, questioning. it's odd but i feel like he had it coming if that makes sense. he's a grown man about my age, and some of the responses he had to my questions made me feel like i was talking to one of my clients at work. i guess there in lies my answer. it's that death wish. not vocal, just something you act out every day. not really wanting to die, just to challenge it. when you are a kid, an adolescent, it's part of growing up to challenge that--to feel immortal. but then we get creaky joints and mortgage payments. we form deeper bonds with people. little things don't hurt us like when we were young. maybe loving life is easier than we think but as simple as living it.
all this strand over me worrying about breaking down jay.
ok, little drunk and disjointed as i write this but maybe it makes some sort of sense...