Need Some Advice
ETA 4/10/08: For those of you coming from her journal (I won't name it to protect the names, please note the following: Everything I said here was affirmed by the fact that she lost her job days later in a fury of drama and checked herself into the hospital twice (I'm guessing NOT because her life is so put together). I spoke to her in love and care then as I did today when I told her that she deserved to be loved in a way that wasn't hidden and that she deserved to be CHOSEN and that I hoped the guy in question would give that to her because SHE DESERVES IT. THAT is the comment that amounted to the vitriol she spewed in the last post. (Just giving you the truth). And even despite the vitriol, I was kind in my response (also deleted):
Wow. I know you'll delete this, but considering all I said was that you DESERVE to be LOVED no questions asked, I'd ask yourself why you feel so much anomosity towards me for telling you that I hoped steve would CHOOSE you since that's what you deserve?
And ps. I said what I said and days later, everything happened like I thought it would. I was right. I'm more than overjoyed that you are getting your life together now and I'm sorry that telling you that you deserve someone to love you like nothing else is so horrible an idea.
Ask yourself why your anger is pointed at me instead of where it should be. But then again, in life, usually it's the messenger that tells the truth that no one likes.
My original post is below:
2/8/08: I had someone on my friends list that lives in Key West. She is mid twenties and bipolar. For over a year now, I've watched her life spiral downhill. She is unmedicated, rapid cycling, suicidal, abusing recreational drugs (cocaine) and alcohol. She is not seeing a therapist or any sort of doctor. She's been in three "I'm going to get married and have babies with the love of my life" relationships in the last 2 months. My heart breaks for her.
I know what bipolar does to someone. I know that bipolar has no easy fix. I know what depression is like.
I've always held my toungue, just voicing words of support, because like so many others going through similar situations, someone spiraling like that is usually very abbrasive to outside truth. But today, as she introduce yet another "I'm going to have babies with this guy and I'm so excited", I couldn't help but offer her assistance. I was kind in that I told her I cared about her and I knew how hard it is to go through the things she has. But I was honest in laying out her symptoms and why her current path was not going to help her in the long run. (She's very knowledgeable about her disease, so I know she understood what I was saying). I encouraged her to see someone, anyone and even offered her to come to my home if she needed a change and positive encouragement.
As expected, she defriended me without a response.
By bigger concern (because at the end of the day it's everyone's perogative to fuck up their own life) and the reason why I spoke up is her profession. A few months ago, she started working as a case worker for a child welfare organization. It is her job to do home inspections, transport children to and from doctors, therapists and attorneys. She gives testamony and recomendations on whether parents should be able to keep their children in family court. She often actually spends a good deal of time alone with the children, taking care of them.
I know she has a heart of gold and I know her intentions for helping these children and families is completely whole and pure. However, in her current life circumstances, should she be trusted in such a position? Last week alone, she was high on cocaine while caring for an infant - someone ELSE'S infant. Within two days of that, she was holding a gun to her own head. She was back to work a day after that.
I had hoped that by reaching out to her and offering support that I could encourage her to do the right thing and seek help. I believe she is amazing at her job and that if she was clean and in some sort of treatment, I wouldn't have issue with what she does. But the fact is that she is clearly unstable and as a parent, I don't want someone like that to have any control or input over my kids (or anyone elses) if they aren't going to seek help.
Ugh. I don't know what to do, but I'm tempted to send what I have in my inbox to the county where she works. If not for her own protection then for the protection of the children in her care.
Help? I'm not a fan of LJ life becoming real life in this way and I would never have thought I'D be someone contemplating becoming involved in someone's personal life in this way.
Where is the line? If you knew someone was endangering an innocent person, would you do something about it?
Wow. I know you'll delete this, but considering all I said was that you DESERVE to be LOVED no questions asked, I'd ask yourself why you feel so much anomosity towards me for telling you that I hoped steve would CHOOSE you since that's what you deserve?
And ps. I said what I said and days later, everything happened like I thought it would. I was right. I'm more than overjoyed that you are getting your life together now and I'm sorry that telling you that you deserve someone to love you like nothing else is so horrible an idea.
Ask yourself why your anger is pointed at me instead of where it should be. But then again, in life, usually it's the messenger that tells the truth that no one likes.
My original post is below:
2/8/08: I had someone on my friends list that lives in Key West. She is mid twenties and bipolar. For over a year now, I've watched her life spiral downhill. She is unmedicated, rapid cycling, suicidal, abusing recreational drugs (cocaine) and alcohol. She is not seeing a therapist or any sort of doctor. She's been in three "I'm going to get married and have babies with the love of my life" relationships in the last 2 months. My heart breaks for her.
I know what bipolar does to someone. I know that bipolar has no easy fix. I know what depression is like.
I've always held my toungue, just voicing words of support, because like so many others going through similar situations, someone spiraling like that is usually very abbrasive to outside truth. But today, as she introduce yet another "I'm going to have babies with this guy and I'm so excited", I couldn't help but offer her assistance. I was kind in that I told her I cared about her and I knew how hard it is to go through the things she has. But I was honest in laying out her symptoms and why her current path was not going to help her in the long run. (She's very knowledgeable about her disease, so I know she understood what I was saying). I encouraged her to see someone, anyone and even offered her to come to my home if she needed a change and positive encouragement.
As expected, she defriended me without a response.
By bigger concern (because at the end of the day it's everyone's perogative to fuck up their own life) and the reason why I spoke up is her profession. A few months ago, she started working as a case worker for a child welfare organization. It is her job to do home inspections, transport children to and from doctors, therapists and attorneys. She gives testamony and recomendations on whether parents should be able to keep their children in family court. She often actually spends a good deal of time alone with the children, taking care of them.
I know she has a heart of gold and I know her intentions for helping these children and families is completely whole and pure. However, in her current life circumstances, should she be trusted in such a position? Last week alone, she was high on cocaine while caring for an infant - someone ELSE'S infant. Within two days of that, she was holding a gun to her own head. She was back to work a day after that.
I had hoped that by reaching out to her and offering support that I could encourage her to do the right thing and seek help. I believe she is amazing at her job and that if she was clean and in some sort of treatment, I wouldn't have issue with what she does. But the fact is that she is clearly unstable and as a parent, I don't want someone like that to have any control or input over my kids (or anyone elses) if they aren't going to seek help.
Ugh. I don't know what to do, but I'm tempted to send what I have in my inbox to the county where she works. If not for her own protection then for the protection of the children in her care.
Help? I'm not a fan of LJ life becoming real life in this way and I would never have thought I'D be someone contemplating becoming involved in someone's personal life in this way.
Where is the line? If you knew someone was endangering an innocent person, would you do something about it?