Parenting
You know, I am a parent of five children. Ages range from 12 - 23. I will be the first to admit that my children are not perfect. I am the first to admit that one of my children has been less than desirable in his actions.
I do what I can to encourage him to be a better person, but at his age, it is up to him. He is an adult, and he has to decide what kind of human being he is going to be.
As for the other children, they are for the most part teenagers. They are pretty good children. They don't do drugs, they don't drink, and they do not steal. They do not get into trouble at school, although my daughter is a regular teen, and loves to talk, and talk, and talk, and so do all her friends. It can be irritating, no, it is irritating. But they are not delinquents. They behave in public. They behave in School. My second son is 17, he is in ROTC, looking at options for college and Military. He treats people with respect.
My children aggravate me on a regular basis. Their behaviour at home is less than desirable. They act like they are abused because they have chores, or they are not allowed certain things because of their actions. They, for some reason, think they get to live for free. This seems to be the general con-census in teenagers these days.
Tonight, I am so frustrated with a friend and her children. I have come to the conclusion that this person never disciplines her children. That doesn't mean that she doesn't get fed up and yell at them, and sometimes she will get physical (spanking) with them. But... I would have to say, I have never seen this woman really discipline her children. She tells me she does, but I have never witnessed it. What I have witnessed, is that she may give them a punishment, only to reverse and reward the child within a very short period of time. I have witnessed this weekend, her giving one of her children a sprite, when these sodas were purchased for the adults. It upset me on different levels, one being that it was agreed on when I purchased the sodas that only adults would be allowed to have them. Second, with 16 single serving bottles of soda, 5 adults and 5 children, how could she possibly think it was okay for HER child to get a soda, and not give soda to the rest of them.. When I verbalized my disapproval of the situation, the fix was that she and her husband went and bought more soda for their two children, leaving out my four children. I bought the fucking soda to begin with, and she had a two liter that she chose not to buy, that was meant for the kids. So what kind of message is that to me, and to my children.
Today was just more drama with her children, and she doesn't say a word to her kids as they rampage around my house, screaming, and tormenting my children and destroying each room they enter.
My assessment, is that HRS/DCF (Department of Children and Families) has it wrong. I don't think that there would be such a need for them after the fact, if they did more to regulate what parents know before they have children. I think that if parents were required to take parenting classes and coping with stress classes, either before they have children, or during pregnancy, there would be less issues once the children are being raised. I took child psychology in college, took parenting classes before the birth of my first child, and took subsequent parenting classes after my second child. It doesn't mean that I am a great parent, nor does it mean that I know everything there is to know about being a parent, but I don't think I have done a poor job of it either.
It's a shame that you have to get a marriage license, a license to drive an automobile, you have to have some training for EVERY job there is, even if it is OJT... So why do we let people parent without any training or lessons on how to parent?
I do what I can to encourage him to be a better person, but at his age, it is up to him. He is an adult, and he has to decide what kind of human being he is going to be.
As for the other children, they are for the most part teenagers. They are pretty good children. They don't do drugs, they don't drink, and they do not steal. They do not get into trouble at school, although my daughter is a regular teen, and loves to talk, and talk, and talk, and so do all her friends. It can be irritating, no, it is irritating. But they are not delinquents. They behave in public. They behave in School. My second son is 17, he is in ROTC, looking at options for college and Military. He treats people with respect.
My children aggravate me on a regular basis. Their behaviour at home is less than desirable. They act like they are abused because they have chores, or they are not allowed certain things because of their actions. They, for some reason, think they get to live for free. This seems to be the general con-census in teenagers these days.
Tonight, I am so frustrated with a friend and her children. I have come to the conclusion that this person never disciplines her children. That doesn't mean that she doesn't get fed up and yell at them, and sometimes she will get physical (spanking) with them. But... I would have to say, I have never seen this woman really discipline her children. She tells me she does, but I have never witnessed it. What I have witnessed, is that she may give them a punishment, only to reverse and reward the child within a very short period of time. I have witnessed this weekend, her giving one of her children a sprite, when these sodas were purchased for the adults. It upset me on different levels, one being that it was agreed on when I purchased the sodas that only adults would be allowed to have them. Second, with 16 single serving bottles of soda, 5 adults and 5 children, how could she possibly think it was okay for HER child to get a soda, and not give soda to the rest of them.. When I verbalized my disapproval of the situation, the fix was that she and her husband went and bought more soda for their two children, leaving out my four children. I bought the fucking soda to begin with, and she had a two liter that she chose not to buy, that was meant for the kids. So what kind of message is that to me, and to my children.
Today was just more drama with her children, and she doesn't say a word to her kids as they rampage around my house, screaming, and tormenting my children and destroying each room they enter.
My assessment, is that HRS/DCF (Department of Children and Families) has it wrong. I don't think that there would be such a need for them after the fact, if they did more to regulate what parents know before they have children. I think that if parents were required to take parenting classes and coping with stress classes, either before they have children, or during pregnancy, there would be less issues once the children are being raised. I took child psychology in college, took parenting classes before the birth of my first child, and took subsequent parenting classes after my second child. It doesn't mean that I am a great parent, nor does it mean that I know everything there is to know about being a parent, but I don't think I have done a poor job of it either.
It's a shame that you have to get a marriage license, a license to drive an automobile, you have to have some training for EVERY job there is, even if it is OJT... So why do we let people parent without any training or lessons on how to parent?