Is This Really All There Is?
So apparently getting Phantom Limb's house, being granted villainous partnership with my wife and gaining new status in the Guild just means they're allowed to throw completely crappy arches our way. We've gone through like five losers in the past week. You wouldn't think they'd be able to grow steadily worse, but lo and behold it's like the domino set of dorks! Just one right after the other, over and over...
Okay, okay, perfect example: three days ago we end up facing off against this cape with a plant theme. First off, Chlorophyllia? What the hell kind of superhero name is that? Seriously, it sounds like an STD! I mean yeah, yeah, I get it, plants and all, whoo, but c'mon do you have to sound like a drag queen Poison Ivy? Not to mention the guy looked like it. Swear to god, the idiot had fucking petals around his collar. Petals. Total fruit. And his catchphrases?
He said, and I quote, "You're about to feel the potency of flower power!" ...I- I can't even make this crap up! I felt like Rainbow Brite was going to jump out from behind him to start teaching us about love and color. He was just so lame! How could I not kill him? If anything it was an act of mercy. My wife keeps getting on my back about killing these losers, big surprise there. Nevermind that her little nutjob "babies" keep trying to bring fucking glocks with them on raids. But are they getting chewed out for it? Nooooo, of course not, because her precious pint-sized angels could never do anything wrong.
So obviously this whole "choosing a new arch" thing is turning out to be just a barrel of fun. Not to mention the henchmen are getting restless, having had absolutely nothing to do. They keep playing that game with the 80's songs and the baby guitars to keep occupied. "I Ran" is going to start haunting me in my sleep. But whatever. Apparently we're supposed to take on some weenus named Dr. Manatee or Dr. Narwhal or something tomorrow.
Yeah, I can already tell this is going to turn out great.
Okay, okay, perfect example: three days ago we end up facing off against this cape with a plant theme. First off, Chlorophyllia? What the hell kind of superhero name is that? Seriously, it sounds like an STD! I mean yeah, yeah, I get it, plants and all, whoo, but c'mon do you have to sound like a drag queen Poison Ivy? Not to mention the guy looked like it. Swear to god, the idiot had fucking petals around his collar. Petals. Total fruit. And his catchphrases?
He said, and I quote, "You're about to feel the potency of flower power!" ...I- I can't even make this crap up! I felt like Rainbow Brite was going to jump out from behind him to start teaching us about love and color. He was just so lame! How could I not kill him? If anything it was an act of mercy. My wife keeps getting on my back about killing these losers, big surprise there. Nevermind that her little nutjob "babies" keep trying to bring fucking glocks with them on raids. But are they getting chewed out for it? Nooooo, of course not, because her precious pint-sized angels could never do anything wrong.
So obviously this whole "choosing a new arch" thing is turning out to be just a barrel of fun. Not to mention the henchmen are getting restless, having had absolutely nothing to do. They keep playing that game with the 80's songs and the baby guitars to keep occupied. "I Ran" is going to start haunting me in my sleep. But whatever. Apparently we're supposed to take on some weenus named Dr. Manatee or Dr. Narwhal or something tomorrow.
Yeah, I can already tell this is going to turn out great.