Might Have Looked the Other Way
Might Have Looked the Other Way
Billy/Dom
Rated PG-13
I promise this one isn't nearly as angsty as the last one I posted.
Dominic has always been in love with him, and Billy's always known.
By now it's just like - life. It's a part of his life. Like the sky is blue and whiskey is good and music makes him feel like a whole person, it's a fact: Dominic is in love with him.
They've coasted past the years of awkward acknowledgement and Billy's come to accept it, embrace it in ways that neither of them ever really talk about. After Evi, he realized that this thing wasn't going to cost Dominic anything. Dom has enough love inside of him for Billy and whoever he's with, too. He can't imagine what life would be if Dominic didn't love him.
*
One night he dreams that Dom doesn't know him.
He's walking toward Dom on a busy street in New Zealand, one they'd stumbled down drunk time and again, and he can see Dom but Dom looks right through him.
Then Dom's face lights up and Billy's suddenly relieved until he realizes that it's Elijah Dom is greeting, not himself.
He wakes up terrified and a little bit desperate, fumbles for his phone in the dark to send Dom a message.
"dreamt you went and forgot me. arsehole."
He slumps back down into bed and tries to go back to sleep. He can't be bothered to figure out what time it is wherever Dom is, and sometimes Dom doesn't even reply at all. Sometimes a week goes by and he gets an email reply or once an actual handwritten letter (that he definitely doesn't still have tucked in a notebook of song lyrics because that would be entirely too saccharine for the tastes of one Billy Boyd).
Except this time he's only barely drifted off when he gets a reply, in the form of a phone call. He almost doesn't answer because it is late and he is tired but he does because it's Dom. He doesn't even get a phone call out before Dom is singing in a low-rough voice.
I've just seen a face, I can't forget the time or place that we'd just met, he's just the boy for me and I want all the world to see we've met..."
He sings the entire song, knows every word and swaps out pronouns effortlessly in a way that makes Billy wonder if he's sung it this way before.
At the end Dom doesn't give him pause to speak, just lets the song taper off and says, "Go back to bed, Bill."
So Billy does.
*
Sometimes it takes Billy a while to come around to things.
Sometimes, he will happily admit, he can be an idiot.
*
He emails Dom confirmation on the purchase of two tickets to a concert for a band that he knows Dom loves.
It's a perk of the job, being able to fly halfway around the world on a whim. He's not well off enough to do it every week but a few times a year, certainly, and even more often he gets to be in places he'd like to be on someone else's dime, for a job.
This time it's all him though. This time there's no concert or film to be working on. He just... wants to see Dom.
That he'll drop a few hundred because he wants to see someone's face ought to be wake up call in itself, but sometimes Billy's an idiot.
*
They're halfway to drunk and full of sushi from the best place Dom knows. Dom can't stop laughing, his voice too loud and too enthusiastic, and just... just perfect. Perfect in a way that fills Billy with warmth and makes him feel like he could float away if he did just keep grasping onto Dom's arm just like he is now.
*
He wakes up the next morning in Dom's bed. Dom's passed out next to him, and Billy blinks his eyes open and looks. They've done this before but not in a while - years and years, maybe. But some things are the same, like the eyeliner smudges on Dom's cheeks and the way his lips look soft and...
Something drops into place, and Billy takes a while to catch on but usually he does at some point. Right now is one of those points.
He wants to kiss Dom.
He'd maybe, sort of, wanted to before - but he'd never been quite sure enough if it was his own want or just the fact that he knew it would make Dom happy. He hadn't been willing to put it all on the line for something that he didn't think he could follow through with... and Dom was too big, too important for Billy to fuck up just because he wasn't sure which end was up. When he'd felt jealous over Dom being with women, when he'd struggled through the commitments in his own life he had to make, he'd always just sort of thought - am I sure? I need to be sure.
And now here he is, almost a decade later, and Dom hasn't chased him, hasn't kept the door jammed open in any sort of obvious way. Dom has done everything exactly right and it's still on Billy's mind, which means.
Which means maybe it wasn't ever just Dom.
*
There's about half an hour of abject awkwardness before Dom calls him on it.
"If you don't fess up, Billy boy, I'm just going to make your orange juice into a screwdriver, get you proper drunk, and get it out of you then."
Billy's eyes narrow. "Ply me with alcohol, will you? That's supposed to be a punishment?"
Dom grins that happy-crinkly grin. "Fine, don't tell me and I won't ply you with alcohol."
Billy looks at him and that grin and he finds the courage somehow, or maybe the utter stupidity, to come out with it. "I think I might be in love with you."
Dom's eyes go comically wide and the milk he'd just taken a drink of comes dangerously close to exiting through his nose. He opens his mouth like he's going to say something, then closes it again and squints at Billy. "Are you taking the piss?"
"I wouldn't," Billy says, shaking his head a little. "Not - not that."
Dom sort of nods, like he'd been thinking so but just needed to double check. "All right, then." And he does precisely nothing after that. He goes right back to eating his breakfast until he notices that Billy isn't. "Oh, sorry. Are we talking about this? Is this a talking about thing?"
Billy laughs. "I thought we might, maybe? Unless you're... unless it's not... mutual."
He sort of loses the thread he'd been maintaining toward the end there, hating how unsure he sounds.
"It's mutual," Dom is quick to say. "But it's not quite as easy as all that, either."
"No, of course not."
"Because we live in different countries. And you've got - well, your situation. What would Jack do if Uncle Dom suddenly became Daddy's special friend?"
Billy snorts. "No one can deny that you're special, Dominic."
Dom grins. "You know what I meant."
"I do. And I don't know. I didn't think about it," Billy admits.
"Okay, then," Dom says. "So... think about it some. While you're thinking, let's eat. If you're still not done thinking after that, I say we try and catch an afternoon movie, grab some lunch when we're done. That sound all right?"
"So just like we'd been planning on doing?" Billy is a little bit skeptical.
Dom looks at him, a flash of something he's clearly been taking great pains not to let slip, in his voice. "Don't get me wrong, Bill. I want this to be - what you're suggesting. What I think you're suggesting. But I think this is new for you, and it's not for me. I want it all with you, Bill, and if that's not how the feeling is for you then I'll be okay - I've been okay for a long time with it, but you can't throw it in my face and then change your mind."
Dom is probably the only person in the world that would accuse Billy of acting like that, and probably the only person in the world with such a good reason to. The guilt flushes through him but there's no judgement on Dom's face, just honesty.
"I'm not going to change my mind," Billy says, reaching out. His hand covers over Dom's without even meaning to and it's a gesture he'd see in a movie but doesn't think twice about making. He squeezes Dom's fingers. "I want to figure this out with you."
Dom tugs Billy's hand closer and then gets up, walking around the breakfast bar to sit beside him. "I'm going to kiss you now, and after that I want you to tell me if you're still sure."
Kissing? Kissing. Billy can't say he hadn't thought about it - staring at Dom's mouth that morning - but there's still something thrilling and terrifying about Dom stating his intent so bluntly.
"All right," Billy rasps, and then Dom's mouth is on his, tasting like orange juice and faintly salty bacon. His mouth is soft and his tongue rubs over Billy's lip and then Billy is the one leaning in, his hand cupping the back of Dom's neck, taking it a level deeper. He's breathless and his heart is pounding when he pulls away. It was a good kiss. A really good kiss, and he wants more of those kisses. "I'm sure," he says, and leans back in before Dom can even answer.
*
Billy's always been in love with Dominic, and Dominic's always known what an idiot Billy was for not realizing it.
Billy/Dom
Rated PG-13
I promise this one isn't nearly as angsty as the last one I posted.
Dominic has always been in love with him, and Billy's always known.
By now it's just like - life. It's a part of his life. Like the sky is blue and whiskey is good and music makes him feel like a whole person, it's a fact: Dominic is in love with him.
They've coasted past the years of awkward acknowledgement and Billy's come to accept it, embrace it in ways that neither of them ever really talk about. After Evi, he realized that this thing wasn't going to cost Dominic anything. Dom has enough love inside of him for Billy and whoever he's with, too. He can't imagine what life would be if Dominic didn't love him.
*
One night he dreams that Dom doesn't know him.
He's walking toward Dom on a busy street in New Zealand, one they'd stumbled down drunk time and again, and he can see Dom but Dom looks right through him.
Then Dom's face lights up and Billy's suddenly relieved until he realizes that it's Elijah Dom is greeting, not himself.
He wakes up terrified and a little bit desperate, fumbles for his phone in the dark to send Dom a message.
"dreamt you went and forgot me. arsehole."
He slumps back down into bed and tries to go back to sleep. He can't be bothered to figure out what time it is wherever Dom is, and sometimes Dom doesn't even reply at all. Sometimes a week goes by and he gets an email reply or once an actual handwritten letter (that he definitely doesn't still have tucked in a notebook of song lyrics because that would be entirely too saccharine for the tastes of one Billy Boyd).
Except this time he's only barely drifted off when he gets a reply, in the form of a phone call. He almost doesn't answer because it is late and he is tired but he does because it's Dom. He doesn't even get a phone call out before Dom is singing in a low-rough voice.
I've just seen a face, I can't forget the time or place that we'd just met, he's just the boy for me and I want all the world to see we've met..."
He sings the entire song, knows every word and swaps out pronouns effortlessly in a way that makes Billy wonder if he's sung it this way before.
At the end Dom doesn't give him pause to speak, just lets the song taper off and says, "Go back to bed, Bill."
So Billy does.
*
Sometimes it takes Billy a while to come around to things.
Sometimes, he will happily admit, he can be an idiot.
*
He emails Dom confirmation on the purchase of two tickets to a concert for a band that he knows Dom loves.
It's a perk of the job, being able to fly halfway around the world on a whim. He's not well off enough to do it every week but a few times a year, certainly, and even more often he gets to be in places he'd like to be on someone else's dime, for a job.
This time it's all him though. This time there's no concert or film to be working on. He just... wants to see Dom.
That he'll drop a few hundred because he wants to see someone's face ought to be wake up call in itself, but sometimes Billy's an idiot.
*
They're halfway to drunk and full of sushi from the best place Dom knows. Dom can't stop laughing, his voice too loud and too enthusiastic, and just... just perfect. Perfect in a way that fills Billy with warmth and makes him feel like he could float away if he did just keep grasping onto Dom's arm just like he is now.
*
He wakes up the next morning in Dom's bed. Dom's passed out next to him, and Billy blinks his eyes open and looks. They've done this before but not in a while - years and years, maybe. But some things are the same, like the eyeliner smudges on Dom's cheeks and the way his lips look soft and...
Something drops into place, and Billy takes a while to catch on but usually he does at some point. Right now is one of those points.
He wants to kiss Dom.
He'd maybe, sort of, wanted to before - but he'd never been quite sure enough if it was his own want or just the fact that he knew it would make Dom happy. He hadn't been willing to put it all on the line for something that he didn't think he could follow through with... and Dom was too big, too important for Billy to fuck up just because he wasn't sure which end was up. When he'd felt jealous over Dom being with women, when he'd struggled through the commitments in his own life he had to make, he'd always just sort of thought - am I sure? I need to be sure.
And now here he is, almost a decade later, and Dom hasn't chased him, hasn't kept the door jammed open in any sort of obvious way. Dom has done everything exactly right and it's still on Billy's mind, which means.
Which means maybe it wasn't ever just Dom.
*
There's about half an hour of abject awkwardness before Dom calls him on it.
"If you don't fess up, Billy boy, I'm just going to make your orange juice into a screwdriver, get you proper drunk, and get it out of you then."
Billy's eyes narrow. "Ply me with alcohol, will you? That's supposed to be a punishment?"
Dom grins that happy-crinkly grin. "Fine, don't tell me and I won't ply you with alcohol."
Billy looks at him and that grin and he finds the courage somehow, or maybe the utter stupidity, to come out with it. "I think I might be in love with you."
Dom's eyes go comically wide and the milk he'd just taken a drink of comes dangerously close to exiting through his nose. He opens his mouth like he's going to say something, then closes it again and squints at Billy. "Are you taking the piss?"
"I wouldn't," Billy says, shaking his head a little. "Not - not that."
Dom sort of nods, like he'd been thinking so but just needed to double check. "All right, then." And he does precisely nothing after that. He goes right back to eating his breakfast until he notices that Billy isn't. "Oh, sorry. Are we talking about this? Is this a talking about thing?"
Billy laughs. "I thought we might, maybe? Unless you're... unless it's not... mutual."
He sort of loses the thread he'd been maintaining toward the end there, hating how unsure he sounds.
"It's mutual," Dom is quick to say. "But it's not quite as easy as all that, either."
"No, of course not."
"Because we live in different countries. And you've got - well, your situation. What would Jack do if Uncle Dom suddenly became Daddy's special friend?"
Billy snorts. "No one can deny that you're special, Dominic."
Dom grins. "You know what I meant."
"I do. And I don't know. I didn't think about it," Billy admits.
"Okay, then," Dom says. "So... think about it some. While you're thinking, let's eat. If you're still not done thinking after that, I say we try and catch an afternoon movie, grab some lunch when we're done. That sound all right?"
"So just like we'd been planning on doing?" Billy is a little bit skeptical.
Dom looks at him, a flash of something he's clearly been taking great pains not to let slip, in his voice. "Don't get me wrong, Bill. I want this to be - what you're suggesting. What I think you're suggesting. But I think this is new for you, and it's not for me. I want it all with you, Bill, and if that's not how the feeling is for you then I'll be okay - I've been okay for a long time with it, but you can't throw it in my face and then change your mind."
Dom is probably the only person in the world that would accuse Billy of acting like that, and probably the only person in the world with such a good reason to. The guilt flushes through him but there's no judgement on Dom's face, just honesty.
"I'm not going to change my mind," Billy says, reaching out. His hand covers over Dom's without even meaning to and it's a gesture he'd see in a movie but doesn't think twice about making. He squeezes Dom's fingers. "I want to figure this out with you."
Dom tugs Billy's hand closer and then gets up, walking around the breakfast bar to sit beside him. "I'm going to kiss you now, and after that I want you to tell me if you're still sure."
Kissing? Kissing. Billy can't say he hadn't thought about it - staring at Dom's mouth that morning - but there's still something thrilling and terrifying about Dom stating his intent so bluntly.
"All right," Billy rasps, and then Dom's mouth is on his, tasting like orange juice and faintly salty bacon. His mouth is soft and his tongue rubs over Billy's lip and then Billy is the one leaning in, his hand cupping the back of Dom's neck, taking it a level deeper. He's breathless and his heart is pounding when he pulls away. It was a good kiss. A really good kiss, and he wants more of those kisses. "I'm sure," he says, and leans back in before Dom can even answer.
*
Billy's always been in love with Dominic, and Dominic's always known what an idiot Billy was for not realizing it.