Some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.
When I was a child I thought I wanted to be a nun (and, ultimately, a saint?)
Somewhere around middle school I started to think I'd like to be a lawyer, and that idea continued in high school.
There was a brief time in 2003 when I thought I might like to be a social worker. This uncoincidentally coincided with my time at L'abri.
And I don't know when the idea entered my head, but by the time I actually started community college, I thought I'd dab in psychology and, if I liked it, maybe keep it as a minor. (Psychology still piques my interest, but man did I hate Psych 1 itself.)
Somehow I stumbled into the sciences instead, and got a BS in Chemical Biology. I now have an affection and deep respect for the sciences, but I never felt like I truly resonated with them the way my classmates did.
Now, being an agnostic who ultimately wants to make a nice living, I've stepped toward the legal professions again. So I've spent the last couple months, and intend to spend the immediate future, as a paralegal.
It would've been great to enter the job and feel totally inspired, of course. I didn't really expect that, but I certainly wouldn't have minded. As it stands the job is comfortable, pays enough for where I'm at in life now, and has me relocated to a very pleasant part of CA--a sub-suburban area I like a lot. For now. On the other hand, I am underwhelmed with the nature of the work and mildly on edge about some of the office dynamics. I've pretty much already decided that civil litigation is not my passion.
But that seems to be the whole theme, doesn't it? Everything is not my passion! I feel like I should be grown up already and yet I'm still meandering around, planning little more than a year at a time without a specific direction. For nearly 10 years I at least had an Ultimate Goal: graduate from Berkeley. I'm thrilled to have done that, but now I'm Ultimate Goal-less, and I don't like it.
With the economy the way it's going, the expenses of law school and med school are more daunting than ever. Grad school would seem more palatable if I had an inkling of what to study in grad school. I can't think of a job that requires no more than a BS in ChemBio. Meanwhile, frankly, my womb isn't getting younger, but I lack the resources and stability (in multiple senses) to start having babies yet (Ever? Yet? Ever??)
Restless!
Somewhere around middle school I started to think I'd like to be a lawyer, and that idea continued in high school.
There was a brief time in 2003 when I thought I might like to be a social worker. This uncoincidentally coincided with my time at L'abri.
And I don't know when the idea entered my head, but by the time I actually started community college, I thought I'd dab in psychology and, if I liked it, maybe keep it as a minor. (Psychology still piques my interest, but man did I hate Psych 1 itself.)
Somehow I stumbled into the sciences instead, and got a BS in Chemical Biology. I now have an affection and deep respect for the sciences, but I never felt like I truly resonated with them the way my classmates did.
Now, being an agnostic who ultimately wants to make a nice living, I've stepped toward the legal professions again. So I've spent the last couple months, and intend to spend the immediate future, as a paralegal.
It would've been great to enter the job and feel totally inspired, of course. I didn't really expect that, but I certainly wouldn't have minded. As it stands the job is comfortable, pays enough for where I'm at in life now, and has me relocated to a very pleasant part of CA--a sub-suburban area I like a lot. For now. On the other hand, I am underwhelmed with the nature of the work and mildly on edge about some of the office dynamics. I've pretty much already decided that civil litigation is not my passion.
But that seems to be the whole theme, doesn't it? Everything is not my passion! I feel like I should be grown up already and yet I'm still meandering around, planning little more than a year at a time without a specific direction. For nearly 10 years I at least had an Ultimate Goal: graduate from Berkeley. I'm thrilled to have done that, but now I'm Ultimate Goal-less, and I don't like it.
With the economy the way it's going, the expenses of law school and med school are more daunting than ever. Grad school would seem more palatable if I had an inkling of what to study in grad school. I can't think of a job that requires no more than a BS in ChemBio. Meanwhile, frankly, my womb isn't getting younger, but I lack the resources and stability (in multiple senses) to start having babies yet (Ever? Yet? Ever??)
Restless!