(no subject)
I'm mad.
I usually talk myself out of feeling mad because I feel guilty about it... and I think I'm a bad person for being mad.
I feel totally dispensable here. The same thing happened last year... the funny thing is that in my heart of hearts, I know that if I were to bail out or leave tomorrow, people wouldn't know what to do about it.
No joke. I should be working on the video right now... and I don't want to. Thinking about it kinda gets me peeved. Because no one here knows what it takes to make this thing happen. No clue. And yet, I am forgotten - I am left out of stuff... like tonight. This set me off tonight: there was a party to celebrate the last full day of camp for the week and NO ONE BOTHERED telling me about it. Nope. No idea. I had a faint idea about it, so I asked someone when they were walking back to the lodge to get their bag... and that's when I found out. SO MAD. Not one of my 3 roommates told me. No one that saw me at any point this evening said anything. Come on! Seriously! COME ON!!! Are you for real???????? What the heck am I? Just this dispensable "Camera Lady" that no one bothers talking to... I show up into a conversation and everyone is ready to pose, not talk. Ugh.
I'm mad.
I'm going to let myself be mad about this until tomorrow... no no. Until Sunday afternoon. That's when we start our wacky week of Summer Camp (it's starting a day early because of Steubenville Atlanta) and we'll have over 250 people here, which is the most we've ever had (I think).
I'm mad. Until Sunday at 4:00 pm. I'm mad.
I usually talk myself out of feeling mad because I feel guilty about it... and I think I'm a bad person for being mad.
I feel totally dispensable here. The same thing happened last year... the funny thing is that in my heart of hearts, I know that if I were to bail out or leave tomorrow, people wouldn't know what to do about it.
No joke. I should be working on the video right now... and I don't want to. Thinking about it kinda gets me peeved. Because no one here knows what it takes to make this thing happen. No clue. And yet, I am forgotten - I am left out of stuff... like tonight. This set me off tonight: there was a party to celebrate the last full day of camp for the week and NO ONE BOTHERED telling me about it. Nope. No idea. I had a faint idea about it, so I asked someone when they were walking back to the lodge to get their bag... and that's when I found out. SO MAD. Not one of my 3 roommates told me. No one that saw me at any point this evening said anything. Come on! Seriously! COME ON!!! Are you for real???????? What the heck am I? Just this dispensable "Camera Lady" that no one bothers talking to... I show up into a conversation and everyone is ready to pose, not talk. Ugh.
I'm mad.
I'm going to let myself be mad about this until tomorrow... no no. Until Sunday afternoon. That's when we start our wacky week of Summer Camp (it's starting a day early because of Steubenville Atlanta) and we'll have over 250 people here, which is the most we've ever had (I think).
I'm mad. Until Sunday at 4:00 pm. I'm mad.