My commitment to fighting back
I am probably going to stop x-posting my blog posts here. I created a community rapedattufts_u where every post will automatically be crossposted there. Please friend that community if you want to follow! I will probably post more related stuff there.
I can't believe the journey that I've made since the day I made the decision to report my rape to the Tufts police. I repeatedly bad my basic rights violated, was demoralized, dismissed, insulted, made fun of, called crazy, etc. by the very people who claimed to "care" and wanted to help me "as much as they could."
Each time Tufts did something unfair towards me I would express my concern (politely), but of course they would just sort of shrug their shoulders and say "sorry" like they could not have done otherwise and carry on. I was angered--knowing that deep down inside that what was happening to me was wrong even though at those times I just quite couldn't put my finger on why--but my parents would tell me to "just move on." Take it sitting down. It's funny how fond people are saying that to people who have been raped. I was abused and raped and Tufts further inflicts pain on top of those things and a trustee tells me to just "move on."
I just can't move on! How can I just forget and compartmentalize something that happened to me and was one of the major defining factors (if not THE major defining factor) of my adult life? When people who KNOW I have been wronged tell me to move on and not try to change the bad things that happened to me that can be changed, they become part of the oppression I face.
Over the past few months--from when I started this site--many people would commend me and say how "strong" I was for continuing to speak out and fight against not merely the great injustices against me, but for all survivors at Tufts. Each time my thoughts are...what else would I do? I don't feel particularly strong for doing this; I felt like there is no other choice.
I never understood why exactly I got particularly invested in anti-violence activism and social justice...or even why I decided to FINALLY fight back (it clearly wasn't because I got it from my parents). However today on Google Reader I saw a crosspost from TransGriot on Womanist-Musings titled "Either Stand Up For Yourself Or Keep Getting Discriminated Against." While the post concentrates on oppression of transpeople, I think that the quotation of Frederick Douglass still rings true.
"Find out just what the people will submit to and you have found out the exact amount of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them; and these will continue until they are resisted with either words or blows, or with both. The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress."
I think that many universities preyed on rape victims' shame, trauma, fear, and lack of knowledge of their rights and resources. Tufts used raped culture to its personal advantage. While I pray and hope and would guess that this wasn't intentional, I realized that if every rape survivor ran away with their tail between their legs the school would see this pattern and take advantage of this "weakness."
So, in case you couldn't tell, I am done with submitting to the injustices placed upon me. I am done sitting quietly and letting others take away MY RIGHT TO EDUCATION. I am done with my RAPIST getting more rights than myself. I am standing up for myself and calling out the discrimination that was committed against me so that others will not not have to endure the same.I am committed to reducing how much injustice and wrong that will be imposed upon sexual violence survivors at Tufts. Why? Because if I don't do it...who knows how long until someone else will?