life is strange.
my mind is not in order lately.
i feel very unsettled right now
and i don't know what it is. i've
thought it might be that i need
a change, that's why i've considered
moving back to st.g after my lease
is up. but my mom doesn't think
that will do the trick. she is a
wise little lady, my mother. she
always has a sense of when i need
some extra help in my life. and its
a good thing i have her to push me
along. i've been contemplating going
to therapy again. it always feels
good but is such a chore. going,
finding the right person, actually
getting all of my thoughts out of
my head. sigh. my mother said she
will ask around and see if there
is someone who might be a match
for me. she said i can't move back
until i deal with whatever issues
i'm having. hehe. she is clever.
but i still feel anxious about
what to do. where to go, etc. will
i be happy in st.g or will i just
feel restless in another couple
months when the newness wears off?
so many thoughts. i do know something
needs to change in my life though.
whatever that may be....
christmas was kind of blah. its just
not the same now that we're older.
my parents don't really get into
traditions and what not anymore and
that is not cool. i miss the good ol'
days of being young and having so much
love for the holidays. plus, all we
get are gift cards (which are nice,
don't get me wrong) but that's very
uncreative. its fun to open something
with substance. and something with
thought behind it. meh. anyway, i'm
about to head home soon. i hope the
drive is good. i have lots of lovely
music to keep me company and i had a
super long nap. so the only worry is
the road conditions, but they are
supposed to be good. phew.
i can't wait til new years. i love
new years eve. i hope my orem boys
are still playing the show they had
booked. its always a good time with
those gents. also, my family is gonna
be in town, so i have that if i want.
but chances are, i'll end up in orem.
a new years kiss perhaps?? haha. i
won't hope. i'm kinda picky. hehe.
so dillard's sucks butthole. i have
a love hate relationship with that
place. the lady i work with is like
my serogate mother. i love her to
death. but i hate the managers and
they system and i'm so close to being
fired. gah. i've already maxed out
my tardies. i hate being late. sucks.
so i'll probably end up getting
another job soon. but where?? and job
hunting is exhausting. i hate it.
plus i don't want to start another
job just to quit in a couple months
when i move to st.g. or where ever
i end up going. hmmm. thoughts to
ponder. i can't wait til spring.
the warm weather always lightens my mood.
<333
i feel very unsettled right now
and i don't know what it is. i've
thought it might be that i need
a change, that's why i've considered
moving back to st.g after my lease
is up. but my mom doesn't think
that will do the trick. she is a
wise little lady, my mother. she
always has a sense of when i need
some extra help in my life. and its
a good thing i have her to push me
along. i've been contemplating going
to therapy again. it always feels
good but is such a chore. going,
finding the right person, actually
getting all of my thoughts out of
my head. sigh. my mother said she
will ask around and see if there
is someone who might be a match
for me. she said i can't move back
until i deal with whatever issues
i'm having. hehe. she is clever.
but i still feel anxious about
what to do. where to go, etc. will
i be happy in st.g or will i just
feel restless in another couple
months when the newness wears off?
so many thoughts. i do know something
needs to change in my life though.
whatever that may be....
christmas was kind of blah. its just
not the same now that we're older.
my parents don't really get into
traditions and what not anymore and
that is not cool. i miss the good ol'
days of being young and having so much
love for the holidays. plus, all we
get are gift cards (which are nice,
don't get me wrong) but that's very
uncreative. its fun to open something
with substance. and something with
thought behind it. meh. anyway, i'm
about to head home soon. i hope the
drive is good. i have lots of lovely
music to keep me company and i had a
super long nap. so the only worry is
the road conditions, but they are
supposed to be good. phew.
i can't wait til new years. i love
new years eve. i hope my orem boys
are still playing the show they had
booked. its always a good time with
those gents. also, my family is gonna
be in town, so i have that if i want.
but chances are, i'll end up in orem.
a new years kiss perhaps?? haha. i
won't hope. i'm kinda picky. hehe.
so dillard's sucks butthole. i have
a love hate relationship with that
place. the lady i work with is like
my serogate mother. i love her to
death. but i hate the managers and
they system and i'm so close to being
fired. gah. i've already maxed out
my tardies. i hate being late. sucks.
so i'll probably end up getting
another job soon. but where?? and job
hunting is exhausting. i hate it.
plus i don't want to start another
job just to quit in a couple months
when i move to st.g. or where ever
i end up going. hmmm. thoughts to
ponder. i can't wait til spring.
the warm weather always lightens my mood.
<333