I don't miss the coffee shops
I hear it all of the time.
Do I miss running the Slam?
I can honestly say, that after almost a decade playing this "game" (which is a freakin' debatable term in and of itself)...that no, I don't miss it at all.
But I miss the people. I think that's what's kept me in Dayton all of this time. And, I know that people were all the time on me about not allowing the Slam to run/dictate my life, but it was like a little family reunion every month.
Seeing the old faces that I hadn't talked to or seen in so long. I think that's why Dayton failed as a scene. Not because of the venues leaving...but this was never really a community. And, for those that know the history around here, it went all of the way back to the half-fake split between the Failed Seekers and the Slam. The Seekers didn't want to have a score put on their "heart and soul" and most of the Slammers thought they took life way too seriously.
Even though that split didn't last long and most of those folks left the area years ago...that dichotomy still lingered...that split between what was present and what could be. Dayton was, and will probably always be a city unlike any other in the Slam Circuit. It's produced some phenomenal writers...some phenomenal jackasses...and more confusion than anyone could ever handle.
Am I mad that it's gone? Fuck yes! I wanted to see it flourish under someone else's banner, just like it had under mine, and I'd still love to see someone attempt to pick it up. But I know that no one ever really will.
So this all goes around to my thoughts of: am I disinterested in Slam, the City, or am I just fucking tired...or am I still mourning over Doug? Have I reached a point in my life that I'm truly ready to move on and simply enjoy the sound of other folks from time to time. Occasionally jumping up on an open mic stage? I must admit that I felt a little of my old energy over at Rust Belt, but I still can't really claim something stirring me beyond my lethargy.
I told Em that it almost...ALMOST make me interested to find a new venue and go from there. But a crumbling foundation needs to be fixed first and I do not possess those tools. We lost one of our most talented crafters and I just don't feel right jumping back into the mix without the sound of his voice. And I know that he'd kick my ass for saying that...but I still have that mindset.
Oh sure, I use the excuse of "I don't have the time" or "I don't want to try and do this alone, again" but, really...I guess that I'm still licking my wounds.
I tried to write a poem stating something like this. How it's fantastic to not be recognized walking down the streets in the Oregon District and to have to pay for my own beers and door charges, but let's be honest, I never gave a damn about that. I only wanted to stand in front of a microphone and make an ass of myself and listen to poetry of all types, forms, and situations. The poem just sorta disintegrated into this post.
Maybe someday, I'll feel like jumping back into the fray. But for now, I don't miss the coffee shop. Just some of the beans inside.
Do I miss running the Slam?
I can honestly say, that after almost a decade playing this "game" (which is a freakin' debatable term in and of itself)...that no, I don't miss it at all.
But I miss the people. I think that's what's kept me in Dayton all of this time. And, I know that people were all the time on me about not allowing the Slam to run/dictate my life, but it was like a little family reunion every month.
Seeing the old faces that I hadn't talked to or seen in so long. I think that's why Dayton failed as a scene. Not because of the venues leaving...but this was never really a community. And, for those that know the history around here, it went all of the way back to the half-fake split between the Failed Seekers and the Slam. The Seekers didn't want to have a score put on their "heart and soul" and most of the Slammers thought they took life way too seriously.
Even though that split didn't last long and most of those folks left the area years ago...that dichotomy still lingered...that split between what was present and what could be. Dayton was, and will probably always be a city unlike any other in the Slam Circuit. It's produced some phenomenal writers...some phenomenal jackasses...and more confusion than anyone could ever handle.
Am I mad that it's gone? Fuck yes! I wanted to see it flourish under someone else's banner, just like it had under mine, and I'd still love to see someone attempt to pick it up. But I know that no one ever really will.
So this all goes around to my thoughts of: am I disinterested in Slam, the City, or am I just fucking tired...or am I still mourning over Doug? Have I reached a point in my life that I'm truly ready to move on and simply enjoy the sound of other folks from time to time. Occasionally jumping up on an open mic stage? I must admit that I felt a little of my old energy over at Rust Belt, but I still can't really claim something stirring me beyond my lethargy.
I told Em that it almost...ALMOST make me interested to find a new venue and go from there. But a crumbling foundation needs to be fixed first and I do not possess those tools. We lost one of our most talented crafters and I just don't feel right jumping back into the mix without the sound of his voice. And I know that he'd kick my ass for saying that...but I still have that mindset.
Oh sure, I use the excuse of "I don't have the time" or "I don't want to try and do this alone, again" but, really...I guess that I'm still licking my wounds.
I tried to write a poem stating something like this. How it's fantastic to not be recognized walking down the streets in the Oregon District and to have to pay for my own beers and door charges, but let's be honest, I never gave a damn about that. I only wanted to stand in front of a microphone and make an ass of myself and listen to poetry of all types, forms, and situations. The poem just sorta disintegrated into this post.
Maybe someday, I'll feel like jumping back into the fray. But for now, I don't miss the coffee shop. Just some of the beans inside.