OVERWHELMING TORMENT;
have you ever felt so tormented, that you feel like it's ripping you apart, bit by bit?
life has definitely taken a turn downhill recently, the vines of it gripping so tightly,
bounding me totally. the turn so sudden, it sent my world crashing, crumbled.
and though each day i try hard to piece it back together, it doesnt really seem to
work, does it? every single second, the torment within me is overwhelming.
it doesnt even matter if i'm doing anything, cause it's always there, slowly eating
me up. then the cycle repeats itself daily. i'm scared of what tommorrow may
bring, cause i know that i may go to bed feeling slightly better, but the instance
that i wake up from sleep, the assurance would be all gone. just like a lost sheep.
the prospects of having to go through everything again and facing so many
different people and matters just tires me out.
the fact is there, that, i know, but there's a difference between knowing, and accepting
it. the only thing is, not one part of me is accepting. somehow, i really cant. it's so
terrible to a point, that i think i'm sick now. perhaps not physically, it's just that everyday,
i feel so choked, i feel like hurling every minute, and sometimes that feeling gets really
intense. sometimes it wakes me up from my sleep even. what's wrong with me?
in any way, i'm physically sick as well.
i'm living in a nightmare where the walls are so high up, it's difficult to even start
climbing outta it. memories. dreams and places haunt me continuously, each so
sweet and blissful yet so heart wrenching to recall. but i'm clinging on to it, cause
perhaps the memories are all that i have now.
knowing that the someone you love, is happy now, gives you some form of comfort.
but the pain of separation, is one that is too great for me. if only there's a way, i'd
do anything, to have another go. but it takes two hands to clap. would space and
time bring things back to before, this, no one knows. but that's my only hope for now.
someone so dear to me, i've became so dependant on. maybe it's time i learn to walk
alone first. i am learning, right now. and trusting god, that what's happening now is
something meant to be good, so that i can learn. though the future is uncertain, losing
your love is never something you can wake up from. you may think that it's just
another one, she's been through so many and she always moves on after a while.
let me just say, that this time, it's a whole total different thing. a relationship where
you put your heart and soul in, and committed since day one, which you so truly know
that it is the one, something that you can never be more sure of, it's not something
that you can forget or ever wake up easily from. waking up and accepting is something
that i must do, but my love is true, and it wouldnt change.
this mere few days were a living hell, and the path just gets tougher as other obstacle
pops up, though it may have been resolved, what's upcoming is the trial. it matters
cause it may mean that school would be hell too. oh god, i wonder how many more
is to come. do i really have the capacity to go through it all, everything?
change, is what i need. i have to. it's time that i started properly on this. father
please guide and mould me. your love for me so great, that you'd not want me to
stay the same. lead me along, and teach me more.
everyday is brought back to a point where i wonder if would love, change and some
time apart bring it all back. after all, we were both so sure, that maybe all it needs is
some changes and time for it to return to before. maybe i am naive, but you never
know what god's plans are, it's whether you choose to listen to him.
tough times it is indeed, and i need courage to face it all.
life has definitely taken a turn downhill recently, the vines of it gripping so tightly,
bounding me totally. the turn so sudden, it sent my world crashing, crumbled.
and though each day i try hard to piece it back together, it doesnt really seem to
work, does it? every single second, the torment within me is overwhelming.
it doesnt even matter if i'm doing anything, cause it's always there, slowly eating
me up. then the cycle repeats itself daily. i'm scared of what tommorrow may
bring, cause i know that i may go to bed feeling slightly better, but the instance
that i wake up from sleep, the assurance would be all gone. just like a lost sheep.
the prospects of having to go through everything again and facing so many
different people and matters just tires me out.
the fact is there, that, i know, but there's a difference between knowing, and accepting
it. the only thing is, not one part of me is accepting. somehow, i really cant. it's so
terrible to a point, that i think i'm sick now. perhaps not physically, it's just that everyday,
i feel so choked, i feel like hurling every minute, and sometimes that feeling gets really
intense. sometimes it wakes me up from my sleep even. what's wrong with me?
in any way, i'm physically sick as well.
i'm living in a nightmare where the walls are so high up, it's difficult to even start
climbing outta it. memories. dreams and places haunt me continuously, each so
sweet and blissful yet so heart wrenching to recall. but i'm clinging on to it, cause
perhaps the memories are all that i have now.
knowing that the someone you love, is happy now, gives you some form of comfort.
but the pain of separation, is one that is too great for me. if only there's a way, i'd
do anything, to have another go. but it takes two hands to clap. would space and
time bring things back to before, this, no one knows. but that's my only hope for now.
someone so dear to me, i've became so dependant on. maybe it's time i learn to walk
alone first. i am learning, right now. and trusting god, that what's happening now is
something meant to be good, so that i can learn. though the future is uncertain, losing
your love is never something you can wake up from. you may think that it's just
another one, she's been through so many and she always moves on after a while.
let me just say, that this time, it's a whole total different thing. a relationship where
you put your heart and soul in, and committed since day one, which you so truly know
that it is the one, something that you can never be more sure of, it's not something
that you can forget or ever wake up easily from. waking up and accepting is something
that i must do, but my love is true, and it wouldnt change.
this mere few days were a living hell, and the path just gets tougher as other obstacle
pops up, though it may have been resolved, what's upcoming is the trial. it matters
cause it may mean that school would be hell too. oh god, i wonder how many more
is to come. do i really have the capacity to go through it all, everything?
change, is what i need. i have to. it's time that i started properly on this. father
please guide and mould me. your love for me so great, that you'd not want me to
stay the same. lead me along, and teach me more.
everyday is brought back to a point where i wonder if would love, change and some
time apart bring it all back. after all, we were both so sure, that maybe all it needs is
some changes and time for it to return to before. maybe i am naive, but you never
know what god's plans are, it's whether you choose to listen to him.
tough times it is indeed, and i need courage to face it all.