I'm alive!
Hi sweethearts <3
Did everyone have a nice Christmas? I have mostly slept and eaten to be honest XD
But now I finally have my winter-break, and it is very much needed! I’ve been super-busy lately, so it’s nice to be able to rest a bit now^^
Anyway, I am not dead! I’m even writing on a fic, I’ve actually finished about three chapters ^.^ So I thought I would post a little preview here for my lovely readers <3 I hope you will like it ^.^<3
*~*~*~*~*~*
Tegoshi looked at his reflection in the mirror, empty eyes staring back at him. He looked good, no doubt about it; he wouldn’t have made it as an idol if he didn’t had a pretty face after all. But still, something was missing, something that made him look alive, and not like a pretty-faced zombie. And when he met his own gaze in the mirror, Tegoshi could clearly see what was absent. Not that it was a surprise; he knew that he had looked like this ever since his girlfriend broke up with him. He was admittedly broken hearted because of it; he had really liked her after all, really, really loved her deeply. But it hadn’t been mutual; she had just dated him because he was famous and good-looking, nothing else. She just wanted the sex; but Tegoshi wanted something more, something deeper; love. He had thought that she wanted the same; that they were special, but they obviously weren’t. And Tegoshi’s heart broke when she left him for some other guy.
Ever since, Tegoshi had given up completely on love, not putting any effort in trying to find a new partner. He went out to club sometimes, let people flirt with him; sleep with him if they wanted, just to dull the pain and loneliness a little. It didn’t help much, what he wanted wasn’t sex, it was love. He wanted to be loved and cared for; but having sex with complete strangers didn’t make him feel treasured or loved at all. Yet, he continued. It was better to feel wanted than lonely and abandoned he had figured; and it kept his mind occupied for a while, kept his thoughts away from the sadness and the pain.
Tegoshi checked his appearance in the mirror one last time. Surely there would be people out there who would approach him tonight, just like always. But they never fell for him; they just wanted his body, or maybe the fame that he brought with him. He sighed deeply before grabbing his things and walking towards the front door. Maybe it was best like this; if he didn’t feel attached to someone, he probably wouldn’t get hurt like this again. And it was probably best like that; because he wouldn’t be able to handle it if his heart broke one more time.
****
Did everyone have a nice Christmas? I have mostly slept and eaten to be honest XD
But now I finally have my winter-break, and it is very much needed! I’ve been super-busy lately, so it’s nice to be able to rest a bit now^^
Anyway, I am not dead! I’m even writing on a fic, I’ve actually finished about three chapters ^.^ So I thought I would post a little preview here for my lovely readers <3 I hope you will like it ^.^<3
*~*~*~*~*~*
Tegoshi looked at his reflection in the mirror, empty eyes staring back at him. He looked good, no doubt about it; he wouldn’t have made it as an idol if he didn’t had a pretty face after all. But still, something was missing, something that made him look alive, and not like a pretty-faced zombie. And when he met his own gaze in the mirror, Tegoshi could clearly see what was absent. Not that it was a surprise; he knew that he had looked like this ever since his girlfriend broke up with him. He was admittedly broken hearted because of it; he had really liked her after all, really, really loved her deeply. But it hadn’t been mutual; she had just dated him because he was famous and good-looking, nothing else. She just wanted the sex; but Tegoshi wanted something more, something deeper; love. He had thought that she wanted the same; that they were special, but they obviously weren’t. And Tegoshi’s heart broke when she left him for some other guy.
Ever since, Tegoshi had given up completely on love, not putting any effort in trying to find a new partner. He went out to club sometimes, let people flirt with him; sleep with him if they wanted, just to dull the pain and loneliness a little. It didn’t help much, what he wanted wasn’t sex, it was love. He wanted to be loved and cared for; but having sex with complete strangers didn’t make him feel treasured or loved at all. Yet, he continued. It was better to feel wanted than lonely and abandoned he had figured; and it kept his mind occupied for a while, kept his thoughts away from the sadness and the pain.
Tegoshi checked his appearance in the mirror one last time. Surely there would be people out there who would approach him tonight, just like always. But they never fell for him; they just wanted his body, or maybe the fame that he brought with him. He sighed deeply before grabbing his things and walking towards the front door. Maybe it was best like this; if he didn’t feel attached to someone, he probably wouldn’t get hurt like this again. And it was probably best like that; because he wouldn’t be able to handle it if his heart broke one more time.
****