(no subject)
I think I just made one of the biggest mistakes in the world. I read something I probably shouldnt have and I have so much adrenalin in my body I'm shaking. I dont know what to do except cry, be emo, and tell my lj. THis realy going ot be a very enlightaning post but it serves the purpose I need for me; which is to just get everything out b4 I explode. I just feel like curling up and dieing right now; theirs no other way to put it. I'm not right, something is broken in me and all I keep getting is broken even more. I've started smoking again, I still have no sex drive, I feel worthless about 24/7, I dont like me in general. Hy heart hurts so bad right now and I dont know why; thats a lie I know why. I just want it to stop. I cant control other people; and I dont want to. Its just so hard not to feel worthless right now. I have some realy wonderful people in my life right now and I cant even appreciate them for what they do for me. I'm so at a loss for anyhting eight now.